Laughing Lotus Wellness Counseling LLC

03/01/2024

I am grateful everyday that I have not only had the oppertunity to seek out my own healing but that I have been able to assist others in their own healing processes as well.

I am grateful that healing is possible and that anyone can achieve it if they have the right resources.

I am grateful that healing takes place all around me for me to witness because it is beautiful and formidible at the same time. Being someone who gets to witness a lot of healing in themselves and other is very rewarding. I would not trade my career for any other.

Tell me in the comments what you are grateful for.

02/28/2024

It's easy to remember to celebrate some achievements in life because they are viewed as being purely positive like having a baby, buying a house, or finishing school.

But what about celebrating the things that feel less positive but are just as much work like quitting a toxic job, leaving a bad relationship, or overcoming trauma? Don't they deserve just as much recognition? They are certainly just as much work.

02/25/2024

Sometimes the question is not "what do I need to change" or "what do I need to stop doing," but instead is "What do I need to add to make my life better?"

You could probably identify plenty of things that you could quit doing that would have a positive impact on your health or your life. Sure it would be easy to say I need to stop eating out, stop wasting my money, eat fewer carbs, quit drinking soda, etc. Or you could look at it in a positive way and identify what you want to add or have more of in your life.

I want to:
Lift heavier weights
Eat more protein
Walk the dog more often
Play with my kids more
Pack my lunch more regularly
Try a new hobby
Drink more water
improve my gut microbiome

It doesn't matter what it is you want to improve on. Making it a positive focus will help you succeed faster. Viewing our goals from a negative mindset makes us less likely to stick with it.

02/23/2024

Suffering is part of life. None of us can escape it. We all experience some sort of heart break or loss in life. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to reduce the suffering in our lives and one way to do that is to assign some meaning to our suffering.

I personally can't stand when people say placating things like, "God works in mysterious ways" or "everything happens for a reason." These types of sentiments might be true but they aren't particularly helpful to hear when you are in the midst of grief.

But once you have some space from the loss you are grieving you can oftentimes find a silver-lining, something that made the experience not entirely worthless. Perhaps it is finding out who in your life truly has your back, maybe it is discovering some strength you didn't know you had. Sometimes, it is a sacrifice only you were able to make.

I love this quote by Viktor Frankl because it reminds us that we are here for a reason, things happen for a reason, and though it is often not clear to us because we are still too close to it, time will reveal it to us, and when we know what the purpose of our pain was, it becames much easier to bear.

It's often helpful to have the support of a counselor while you are dealing with grief and loss. I have experience with grief counseling and I would love to help support you if you need it.

02/21/2024

If when you were a child you were expected to behave more responsibly than the adults you probably became a wonderful helper. You probably also are not very skilled at knowing when you need to ask for help.

Parentificiation causes children to feel like they need to meet the needs, usually emotional needs, of the parents. Learning skills at a very young age to take care of other people's emotions instead of your own can be a blessing if you decided to use those superpowers to become a therapist, but they also come with a curse. It teaches us to very consistently shove our own emotions aside and ignore them. It also teaches us to believe that there is no one we can rely on, we can only rely on ourselves. So when we need help we probably feel pretty out of control.

Parentification can be unlearned in therapy. We can build on our capacity to deal with our emotions and to learn how to trust others. We can learn how to identify that we need help and learn how to ask for it.

Thinking about becoming a client? I am still accepting new clients and I would love to chat with you!

02/19/2024

I think our modern society has programmed us to think we need to have it all, and everything needs to a priority. This causes us a ton of stress because it not only isbn't possible, but also because thats not how happiness is created. What if I told you happiness is far more simple than that? What if happiness was NOT having it all? What is happiness was slowing down and picking a couple of priorities to focus on?

I would challange anyone who is feeling overwhelemed to take a few moments to go over what their core values are and picking just two or three priorities in life based off of those values. When you slow it down and make these priorities into more specific goals you will find that you will be more successful, feel more accomplished, happier and more relaxed.

Need help sorting this out? I'm accepting new clients! Contact me!

02/17/2024

To my younger self: I'm just so sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you the way that I ought to have been. I'm sorry that I didn't know you were enough. I'm sorry I treated you like you weren't enough. I'm sorry I spent so much time trying to make you into someone you aren't.

You don't need to spend your life proving that you are enough anymore. Today we love ourselves more than we could have ever imagined and we are done trying to shape ourselves to fit a form that we think other people want us to be.

You don't have to spend your life proving that you are enough anymore because doing so has only kept us from being able to achieve true happiness and success. We learned that we are not only happier being ourselves, but we also attrack more success when we show up as our authentic selves.

You are more than enough, you are everything. And I will spend the rest of my life showing up for you.

02/15/2024

You don't have to give 100% every day. And you wouldn't expect your best friend or someone else that you love to givee 100% every day. We all know that if you only have 80% to give and you give that you are doing great, but we don't tend to believe that of ourselves.

Truthfully, this past week I did not have 100% to give, nor did I have 80%. I was closer to the 60-65% range. I showed up, I met with my clients, and I got a little bit of documentation (my least favorite word) done. Not a single one of those sessions did my clients leave thinking, "Wow! That was the best therapy session I have ever had! I feel so incredibly enlightened! I am cured now!" nor did any of them think "Well that sucked, Megan is the worst therapist ever, I'm never coming back." And that's ok.

There is nothing wrong with showing up as much as you can when you can, even when that doesn't feel like much. It's ok to allow yourself some grace and take a rest. It's ok to meet your needs first.

Need a therapist (one who is able to give 100% sometimes when she is well rested) I'm accepting new clients and I would love to meet you!

02/14/2024

Having goals is super important to a healthy life. Without meaningful goals brains start to go kind of haywire.

Without goals we start to focus only on the negatives. Having goals helps us focus on what baby steps we are taking in a positive direction. People who have more goals are usually more optimistic. Without goals we tend to focus on unhealthy things like what other people are thinking or doing instead of what we are doing. Without goals we tend to repeat the past because we are not challenging ourselves to try new things. Without goals we tend to think less about big ideas and instead get bogged down in the minor problems.

Goals help us to grow and make positive changes in our lives, but they also keep our brains active and healthy as well.

Think you have some therapy goals you want to work on? I am accepting new clients and I would love to chat. Message me!

02/13/2024

Grief can not be easily summed up in words. The modern definition of grief is: deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death. The roots of the word are different in a meaningful way.

Latin:
Gravare: to make heavy
Gravis: to weigh down

Old French:
Grever: to burden, afflict or oppress
Grief: Injustice or misfortune

I think it helps to know that the roots of the word are about how it feels to grieve. It is a painful experience, it weighs us down and makes doing any task 100 times more challenging. Grief is oppressive and all consuming. Grief often feels unjust or unfair.

Are your grieving? Are you thinking about getting grief counseling? I am accepting new clients.

02/12/2024

We have all had a conversation with someone who doesn't understand domestic violence or controlling relationships. They assume that getting up, walking away, and leaving should be simple and easy. They assume that the person who is experiencing the abuse can see their worth and know that they deserve better. They assume that no one would put up with that type of treatment.

And they would be very wrong. It's anything but simple and it can be easy to put up with abuse if it's all you have ever known.

Children who grow up witnessing domestic violence are three times more likely to either be a victim or perpetrator of domestic violence in adulthood. Growing up with domestic violence is the number one predictor of whether or not someone will engage in domestic violence.

There are a number of reasons for this but part of the problem is that childhood trauma results in lower self-esteem. People with lower self-esteem often have unhealthy attachment styles and this can lead to a sever fear of abandonment. This causes people to fear leaving, a new unknown situation, more than they fear being hurt. They will instead spend an exorbitant amount of time and energy trying to convince their abuser not to hurt them.

If you feel like you are tired of trying to convice others to stop hurting you, whether thats a partner, a boss, a parent, or someone else, counseling can help. Contact me, I would be honored to support you.

02/11/2024

We all internalize messages we pick up from the way that our parents interact with us when we are children. When you have emotionally immature parents some of the messages you might have learned are:

1. I am an annoyance,
2. I am not worthy of love,
3. I am always to blame,
4. I can't trust anyone,
5. My needs don't matter,
6. I am a burden to others
7. There is something inherently wrong with me,
8. I'll never be good enough,
9. I don't deserve success,
10. I need to always be perfect.

None of these messages are true, no one should ever believe these things about themselves. But an emotionally immature parent can not teach a child positive self-worth because they don't possess it themselves. Thankfully you can unlearn these beliefs as an adult. Therapy can help.

Are you ready to try therapy and unlearn the harmful beliefs you have about yourself? I am accepting new clients and I would love to talk to you and see if it would be the right fit for you.

02/10/2024

This post isn't for everyone, obviously some of you still very much need to be in survival mode. But many of us are no longer in the middle of the crisis and can take a deep breath finally. For people who grew up in constant crisis it is easy to remain in constant crisis because it is our homeostasis and it's just what we know.

If you are an adult, safe and secure now, it's time to learn how to actually live. Let yourself relax and enjoy the little things. It's time to rejoice and celebrate your wins.

Need support in doing that? Contact me, I'm taking new clients!

02/09/2024

being in a body can be really hard sometimes. I know I'm not the only person who struggles with body image or body dysmorphia. In a culture where bodies are highly judged and critiqued, often for aspects that are outside of a person's control, it can be really difficult to be grateful for what you have.

But practicing gratitude for your body is the fastest way to improve self-image.

In my daily gratitude practice I often find something, even something small, to be grateful for in my body. I do this because my body deserves the gratitude, and because it helps me recognize all of the positives that this body has to counteract all of the negative thoughts I have about it throughout the day.

Some examples are; I am grateful for my strong legs, I am grateful for my healthy heart, I am grateful for my confident smile, I am grateful for my immune system kicking ass every day.

The more you practice this, the easier it gets, and the more effective it is. Gradually you will find, that you are better connected to your body and more in control of your negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself.

Think you need more help with body image problems? I am accepting new clients and I would love to help! Please reach out!

02/08/2024

Check out the interview that I did for Up North Live.

More than two years ago, a national emergency was declared when it comes to our children and their mental health.

02/07/2024

I don't hate on ranting. whenever someone appologizes for going off on a rant in a therapy session I like to remind them that they have often not had the space to safety say what they are thinking and going off on a rant is a sign that they are healing.

When you were a child you might have been taught that it was better to be seen and not heard, you might have been punished whenever you used your voice. So going on a rant now, as an adult, is a good sign that you feel like you CAN use your voice now.

I believe that trauma recovery involves lots of long-delayed and well-deserved "rants." You deserve to have your moment, to take up space, to get it off your chest, or to be heard.

And if you can't rant to your therapist, who can you rant to?

Looking for a therapist! You are in luck becuase I am accepting new clients! Contact me!

02/06/2024

Self-acceptance can be hard to achieve for many of us. Self-acceptance is defined as "an individual's acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative." That means embracing your entire self. For some of us, it is easy to accept our positive traits, but very difficult to accept (especially with kindness) our negative ones. But for others, it isn't easy to accept our positive traits. It can be hard to believe in ourselves.

Here are some suggestions that might help.

Start by reframing your beliefs, picking your people, shutting down your inner critic, practicing confronting your fears, being compassionate to yourself, and learning to let things go.

I know none of those things are simple or easy to do. But counseling can help! I am accepting new clients and if you are looking for help with self-love and compassion I would be overjoyed to help teach you how to do that! Contact me!