Colorado Mental Wellness Collective (2024)

20/01/2022

How do our family dynamics growing up impact our romantic relationships as adults?

11/09/2021

Today we remember the people lost, the families forever changed, the feeling of fear & instability, those who protect us, and we are stronger together than as single individuals.
I remember being in high school during 9/11 and all of us being ushered into a single building.
I remember the confusion and fear. I remember the relief that my family was safe and the guilt that others weren't feeling the same thing.
I often wonder if this day was the catalyst to so much of the hate and anger and division that exists today. Not that it didn't exist before but over the past several decades it's amplified.
Hate and anger stem from fear. We "hate" things we don't know and get angry when we have no control. We are always seeking ways to get rid of that fear and it's often not a very healthy outcome.
Today, show love and compassion to someone you might not naturally feel that toward. Be a support to make the United States AND entire world stronger. Give someone a hug. Put down your phone and really listen. Don't give the middle finger or automatically smash your horn to the driver who cut you off. Let someone else go ahead of you in line. Breathe. Show compassion and love for yourself too. The world isn't easy and we control so very little of it. Enjoy the moments of happiness and contentment. Show gratitude and appreciation.

10/08/2021

How we interact with others in friendships and relationships is often guided by our attachment style. This is strongly impacted by our sense of security in relationships with primary figures throughout our development. Have you ever wondered what your attachment style is?
Learn more about attachment styles and YOUR style and how it could be impacting your relationships at https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/attachment-theory-and-the-4-attachment-styles

15/07/2021

We frequently think that we can't ask for support from others because it would be a burden to them. Or that we would be judged for our suffering or self-perceived "weakness." Yet we typically want the people we love to tell us when they are hurting so we can support and help them.

This reciprocity of being the supporter and being the one who needs support can actually strengthen relationships! Knowing we can rely on someone and them knowing they can rely on us is one way how trust builds in relationships and create a deeper sense of understanding and connectedness which in turn reduces feelings of isolation and loneliness often seen in depression.

Take a chance and give others an opportunity to support you!

has some amazing work! You will probably see a couple of these upcoming because CMWC loves cats and the meaning has a strong foundation in ACT!

09/06/2021

There are actually 4 responses to acute Stress and traumatic events: Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn
Fight presents as "survival at all costs." This is usually seen as anger, aggression, fighting back, exposivity, and impulsive emotional reactions
Flight presents as panic and anxiety results in escaping a situation. This can look like running away, distraction, perfectionism, overworking, and difficulty sitting still.
Freeze presents as trying to become as small and invisible as possible. This can look like becoming physically small, dissociating, not moving and physiologically going into survival mode.
Fawn presents as over adapting and accommodating by sacrificing self and needs. This can present as agreeing to something you don't actually agree with, people pleasing, avoidance, passivity and trying to keep away from any conflict

19/05/2021

Stress is inevitably going to come up. So what can you do when you start to feel your stress increase and anxiety build?
There are 4 A's for how to manage stress. When deciding which of these to use, first think "Can I change the stressor? Is that within my circle of control?"
If the answer is yes, you can either Avoid or Alter
If the answer is no, you can either Adapt or Accept
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What falls into these areas and Avoid?! I thought I WASN'T supposed to avoid things?! Avoid in this case isn't the same as sticking your fingers in your ears and humming while pretending the situation doesn't exist. It means taking control of your surroundings and staying out of areas that exacerbate stress, saying "no," avoiding people who stress you out and knocking things off your to do list that aren't urgent
*
Alter means trying to change your situation to reduce stress by communicating to others when they do things that upset you, find ways to better manage time, and set limits!
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Adapt is when change our outlook or expectations because we can't change the situation. We do this by adjusting our standards of ourselves and others, practice positive self-talk and thought stopping, reframe the stressor, look at the big picture... Think how much will this matter in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?
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Lastly, Accept. Talk to someone, reach out to your support system. Learn from mistakes rather than dwelling on what you "could" or "should" have done differently. Practice positive self talk and mindfulness. Be in the moment, rather than the past or future.

12/05/2021

got it right! How often do you "what if" everything and it NEVER happens! And when it (rarely) does happen has it been as bad as you imagined or were you able to handle it better than expected?

11/05/2021

In honor of lets all work toward breaking down the stigma toward mental illness and therapy. is not a dirty word. Approx 7.1% of the US population 18+ have had a major depressive episode. isn't a weakness. 19.1% of the US population met criteria for an anxiety disorder in the last month. Let's and teach the world therapy is a SAFE not a scary space. Learning areas you need to grow isn't saying you are a failure. Therapy should be just as common as seeing a doctor when you have a cold. Let's get the rest of the world there...

08/05/2021

Let's talk about Mother's Day. It's a great day to honor your mother or mothers and express appreciation for all the things they have done for you. However, it's important to recognize that Mother's Day can be incredibly difficult for some. There are women who deeply want to be mothers and for whatever reason are unable to do so. There are children who have lost mothers and mothers who have lost children. There are mothers and children divided and distanced either by location or conflict. Something as simple as a post can trigger depression, anxiety, grief, sadness, regret and even anger.

So ultimately, be grateful for what you may have and be mindful of what others may not have. Check in on any friends or family members who may be struggling just to get through this holiday. As always work toward self-awareness and consideration and kindness toward others.

25/04/2021

What kind of boundaries do you have?
If you find yourself always saying yes, becoming overly involved with others (which may leave you feeling exhausted and drained!) you may have Porous boundaries. If you always keep others at arms length (often resulting from past hurts, lack of trust, and insecurities) you likely have rigid boundaries. If you have a good balance building closer relationships and recognizing limits of those relationships you may have healthy boundaries.
Go through the list below and see where you fall!
RIGID BOUNDARIES
~few close relationships
~unlikely to ask for help
~avoiding intimacy and vulnerability
~very protective of personal information
~may come across as distant, even to those closest to them
~keep others at arms length to avoid the potential to feel rejected
POROUS BOUNDARIES
~difficulty saying "no"
~oversharing of personal information
~feel the need to get involved in others problems (want to fix everything for everyone mentality)
~difficulty making decisions without feedback from others
~fear that if boundaries are set others will reject them
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
~recognize value of their own opinions
~doesn't compromise values for others
~does not over or under share information but shares according to closeness of relationship
~aware of own wants and needs and communicates them to others
~accepting (nondefensively) when others say 'no' and set boundaries to them
Where do you fall?

23/04/2021

There are 6 main types of boundaries

1. Physical- this relates to personal space and physical touch. Our physical boundaries typically vary based on the type of relationship, setting, and action (hug, kiss, handshake). For example you're more likely to be comfortable being hugged by a family member than a complete stranger.

2. Emotional- this refers to feelings, what personal information to share, when to share and not to share it. When figuring out your emotional boundaries think, are you the type of person that typically put everything on the table as soon as you meet somebody or does it take you time to open up?

3. Intellectual-this is our thoughts and ideas. It includes our ability to respect others ideas and awareness of what discussions are appropriate in various settings

4. Time- this is a big one! Think about how you utilize your time. Is there a balance between work, relationship, and self-care? Do you have a hard time telling people no?

5. Material- this involves money and belongings. Who do you share things with and what are you willing to share? How flexible is this? A healthy boundary would be recognizing its okay to let a family member borrow your car but that is probably not the healthiest thing to let a complete stranger borrow your car

6. Sexual- this boundary explorers what are you comfortable with in a sexual relationship emotionally, intellectually, and physically. Are you comfortable telling someone if they're doing something you don't like? Are you comfortable opening up about the things that you do like?

Check in tomorrow to learn if your boundaries are healthy or could use a tune up!

07/04/2021

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CNVQFqljTv1/?igshid=190fzqhekfv78

19/03/2021

Learn some for and overwhelming

19/03/2021

Learn some for and overwhelming

13/03/2021

Boundaries, Self-Awareness and Self-Care, why are these important?
Throughout this pandemic I've had both colleagues and clients (and myself!) struggle with setting time for themselves and learning to say no...and not feeling guilt for saying no!
We often worry that if we turn down spending time with friends or family it will be interpreted as dislike or rejection when in reality it is often necessary for self-care. We take on too many hours at work or accept more projects because we feel like we can't say no or be considered "not a hard worker" or that our job will be in jeopardy
Self-Awareness is the 1st step. If we can't tell we are burning out we won't be able to change our actions to reverse it. Recognizing your energy level, what you can do to replenish it and how long it will take are all important! For some people it takes an hour of alone time to replenish. For others it's an entire day. For people more introverted, it's going to be quiet alone time that is replenishing and for extroverts it may be going out with a large group of friends. For myself, I can do a full 8 hours of therapy and feel less drained than one hour at a party of strangers or near strangers. For me, the latter is much more emotionally and physically draining!
After Self-Awareness comes Boundaries. We know we are burning out but what do we do about it? Say "no," decline that extra project, stay in rather than go out, SLEEP... Go back to your basic needs, are those being met? It's okay to say no! You can say no to friends, family, work, a significant other... This isn't rejection, this is saying I have nothing left to give and need to replenish my emotional energy stash. There is nothing wrong with staying in on a Friday night ALONE or going to bed at 8pm or not attending that party. You know what you need, make sure you get it.
Lastly, Self-care. This widely ranges from taking a bath to a vacation. The bad thing is, when burnout is building this is usually the first thing sacrificed when it should be the last. Think in terms of quality of life. What makes you happy? When you get to the end of life, will you regret not working until 9pm or missing out on great adventures?

27/02/2021

Take a look from the other side. Before getting angry, consider the other person's point of view. Most people don't start fights because they ENJOY fighting. They feel SOMETHING whether or not they can communicate that accurately. Would you react differently if you knew they felt hurt? What about disappointed? Lonely? Scared? Betrayed?

We get so caught up in our own lives, relationships feelings, STUFF! We often forget to stop and consider that our perspective is not the only perspective. So the next time you get caught up in a situation or conversation and notice you are starting to get upset, take a step back and look at it from the other person's perspective and remember, in most situations, the goal is to find a resolution and move forward. How can you contribute to the first step forward?

20/02/2021

Defusing versus Disputing
Within ACT we talk a lot about defusing from thoughts. Essentially this means becoming more mindful to be aware when we fuse to a thought or belief, using skills to become unstuck from specific thoughts, and recognizing that thoughts are passing (we have millions of conscious and unconscious thoughts each day!)
This is very different from CBT techniques where we learn to challenge and replace our unhelpful thoughts. Disputing is essentially coming up for reasons our automatic thought may not be accurate.
Problem is two-fold: one, this new rational thought is often difficult to internalize without a lot of consistent practice. Think of it as breaking a bad habit which we know is HARD! Two, by challenging the thought we are staying stuck in it. We are digging into it rather than allowing it to pass
This doesn't mean we don't want to recognize where our thoughts are coming from with ACT. We do, because we need to know if it's triggered by something we can change or outside of our control. We just want to nonjudgmentally explore the thought rather than labeling it as good or bad. A thought is just a thought. A thought in itself isn't good or bad...a thought isn't a physical thing. We put that categorization on the thought. Why? Does it help to say a thought is "bad?" Does it magically go away once you label it? Nope. So try to remove the judgment from the thought. Try to allow the thought to enter and pass through your mind rather than fighting with it. If we don't cling to a thought, it will pass just as allllll the other thoughts do. Start practicing to recognize the thought and recognize that it is JUST a thought. "I'm having the thought that _______"

13/02/2021

We are just about at our 1 year anniversary for mandatory mask wearing. Some people are loving it (Hello fellow introverts), some people are hating it (Hello others with anxiety & claustrophobic tendencies and extroverts). We've adapted despite loving or hating it which shows how adaptable humans truly can be when necessary (we'll come back to that resilience another day). But how can we make mask wearing actually beneficial for our mental health?

Did you know smell is one of our strongest senses? Different smells are strong triggers for both memories and emotional responses. So let's use our masks to help enhance this!

Using essential oils in your mask can help with tons of things! Lavendar can enhance a sense of calm and peace during a stressful work day. Spearmint or peppermint can invigorate you and reduce nausea. Lemon and Rose can enhance mood. Sandalwood can help you focus if your mind is all over the place. Ylang ylang can help with headaches... And the list goes on. So while we are trapped in this mask wearing world (which we cannot control) let's add something to it that can actually be beneficial (which we can control)! Keep in mind a little goes a long way and lasts a while. Put 1-3 drops in your mask and let it dry for about 5-10 minutes before putting it on.

You can even get creative around holidays if you choose! Think of your mask as the mental wellness version of Starbucks! A new scent for every season and holiday 💜

11/02/2021

Why are values important?

Knowing our values helps us understand what drives us and what we need to prioritize in our life to feel we are being our most authentic selves.

Think about values as the human skeleton, the foundation. If we have no skeleton, we are just a blob, flopping around without any sense of self or purpose. Without values, we have no idea what we are living for, what guides us, what we need to incorporate into our life to make us the most fulfilled. It also helps us recognize why we may be experiencing depression, anxiety, apathy, frustration, etc... When we are doing things against these values.

For example, we are going against a value, if our value is Autonomy (one of my top five) but we find ourselves in a co-dependent relationship where we are constantly allowing others to make life decisions for us.

Tune in later this week to learn how Values are different from Goals... And follow the link below to figure out your own values through a pandemic friendly free online values card sort!

https://mobile.think2perform.com/our-approach/values/new

23/01/2021

Behavioral Activation (BA) is a big part of CBT and BT. It is based off of the depression model that suggests depression is a consequence when someone has lack of positive reinforcement).
There are several goals of BA, including: increasing engagement in pleasurable activities (e.g., hiking, reading, skiing, biking, knitting, drawing, painting, etc...); reducing engagement in activities that maintain/increase depression (aka the wallowing game that is so easy to get stuck in.. Excessive sleep, isolation, sad movies, sad music, etc... ); build problem solving skills to better manage barriers to pleasurable activities (e.g., I don't know how to knit so I can't do it turns into I'm going to watch a YouTube video on how to knit).
Methods of BA could be tracking and recognizing mood shifts and patterns, monitoring activity levels, building social skills or doing more pleasant activities.
Long story short: If you notice you're feeling depressed, down or sad do the opposite of what you feel like doing (feel like staying in bed all day? Get dressed and go outside!)

29/12/2020

We're coming up on a new year, the holidays are nearly done.. How can we restore our emotional and mental health after all the stress holidays can bring?
1) GET SLEEP! Many of us can notice a substantial change in our mood, patience, attitude and mental view when we wake up feeling rested versus still tired. Give yourself at least one day a week to wake up independent of an alarm and see how it feels
2) Exercise... It doesn't have to be a marathon. I love walking/jogging on the elliptical while reading my kindle and listening to music 🎶 find a way to make it FUN
3) Tell family your taking a mental break. Holidays bring a ton of family stress, conflict and expectations. Even if you love spending time with family it can be exhausting. Prioritize yourself and set some personal boundaries. It's okay to say no and it's okay to focus on yourself
4) Do a mini-life review. Are you where you want to be? Are you HAPPY? If not, what would need to change to reach this? What steps can you take to move towards it?
5) Cut out the unnecessary. Stop comparing yourself to others. Take a break from TikTok. Stop following your ex on Facebook. Stop thinking of what things should look like and what you actually want them to look like.
6) Get it out. Talk to someone....friend, therapist, online group... Get your thoughts sorted and you'll have a better ability to figure out which way you want to go next

06/12/2020

Narcissism versus Narcissistic Personality Disorder| https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/the-narcissist-versus-the-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ #:~:text=It's%20important%20to%20remember%20that,narcissists%20succeed%20in%20their%20pursuits.
People attributing mental illness for personality features is so common and I feel it goes in waves.... A while back all I could hear was "oh she's so Borderline" or "he's totally Antisocial." So let's check out how to actually know if someone has NPD versus traits of Narcissism...with rates from .5 to 1% it can't be everyone! | www.thecmwc.com

10/11/2020

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CHbB7wVDYnh/?igshid=t9vo5hs9y1n7

03/11/2020

Emotions are high today; patience is low and the world is quick to anger.

What are some quick ways to better manage our anger and other intense emotions in an adaptive way?

~box breathing (4 in, 4 hold, 4 out) should be slow and deep from your diaphragm not your belly
~share your feelings, talk! Telling someone how you feel can cut the intensity in half
~count backward from 100
~pick a category and list from A to Z (animals, fruits, songs, etc)
~listen to 🎶
~PMR-tighten and loosen each muscle group
~exercise! Run in place, jumping Jack's, push ups
~deep clean your house or a room
~dance
~hold a piece of ice, bite into a lemon

But above all, when emotions are high: be quick to listen and slow to think-process and confirm before assuming

03/11/2020

We spend a large part of our lives thinking about, looking for, mourning the loss of, and being in relationships. How often have you thought back on past relationships or almost-relationships and wondered why did I feel so sure this person was right for me?

Especially when looking back, can you recognize when you wouldn't have been a good fit long-term, but actively remember how much you WANTED to be with them?

How often was that reason because I didn't want to be alone? How much was that they were not all that interested in me? These past relationships were often inconsistent; I clearly wasn't a priority. It was a game. Only it wasn't. The truth was they just weren't all that interested in me and honestly I shouldn't have been interested in them either.

We would have been a terrible fit but I couldn't see it then
So how can you tell if it's a superficial attraction or if you're genuinely a good fit?

Look at the good AND bad. Look at actions rather than words. If you are only recognizing the good or minimizing the bad you're still in the infatuation zone. We ALL have bad habits. Being aware of and choosing to accept or work past the flaws is part of a authentic relationship.

Do their long-term goals fit with yours? Are your values the same? If one person values adventure and excitement and the other stability and consistency, it will be a rocky road to find a good compromise! How do you view family? Does your relationship (marriage, pets, kids) become the primary family unit or does one partner expect you to subsume into their existing family unit? Do you agree on big issues such as how to fight in a healthy way, how to communicate, what partner roles are, etc... Are you in the same phase of life? If one of you is still in party mode and the other is ready to develop a home and family it may not be the best fit.

We often avoid these topics when we feel the answers may show we are not a good fit. These topics can't be avoided forever and they shouldn't be. A marriage - a family--cannot remain at the superficial level and shouldn't. Real commitment means finding a partner with similarities and complimentary differences and willingness to put in the work

29/10/2020

The truth isn't always easy to hear, or to believe. We often use avoidance or justification or rationalizing because we know we aren't going to enioy the truth or the outcomes from the truth or we don't want to acknowlege what deep down in our gut we already know is true. So what's the problem with this?

Truth is unavoidable. We can delay our discovery of the truth, but this just delays our pain and the icky discomfort of hurt or grief. What's even worse about avoiding the truth? You're using up time in your life that you could otherwise be spending it. You're giving up YOUR time and energy! Time is precious. Delaying the truth isn't going to change it. All it will do is increase the amount of time you spent waiting, investing, hoping. How often have we ignored what we know is the truth just to run right into that brick wall of truth days, weeks, months or years later?!

Listen to who people tell you they really are. See situations for what is really happening. Be open to seeing the truth around you. Trust your gut. Pay attention to actions more than words. We don't see what we don't want to believe, but the sooner we are able to stop avoiding, face the reality, accept the truth... The faster we are able to find someone or something whose truth matches ours.

27/10/2020

Let's learn a little about DBT skill Emotion Regulation!

23/10/2020

Psychoeducation Series, Part 10: What exactly IS Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?
I had a client who often commented about how frustrating it is to have people make jokes or refer to compulsivities as OCD. Are you guilty of this? I know I have been in the past and actively make conscious choices to not use this term colloquially. OCD is a serious, exhausting, and difficult to combat mental health issue.
There are two main parts of OCD. Obsessions and Compulsions. Obsessions are these overwhelming, often irrational, ruminative thoughts that one fixates on seemingly uncontrollably. Compulsions are the behaviors that are developed to reduce the distress that's created with these thoughts. Think of it like a flow chart, you're doing something, then comes this thought or fear, that thought or fear creates an uncomfortable feeling typically intense amounts of anxiety, you engage in a behavior (checking, counting, turning things on and off, etc) and the anxiety is reduced. Over time, your brain creates an automatic pattern that when you feel distress or have this obsessive thought, you engage in the behavior.
Now imagine how exhausting that behavior or compulsion is. Very rarely is someone going to tell you "my compulsions are so fun! I never want to get rid of them!" Instead, they are draining, moral defeating, frustrating, and seemingly impossible to resist. It's as if you're waist deep in water and someone tells you that you have to run... How tiring would that be and how discouraging when you aren't getting anywhere?
Typically OCD presents in multiple aspects of one's life. More than one may even be aware of initially! Primary methods of treatment include CBT with Exposure and Response Prevention, although there are additional components to treatment utilizing Interoceptive Exposures and Imaginal Exposure
Stay tuned to learn more about these treatments!

Colorado Mental Wellness Collective

20/01/2022

11/09/2021

10/08/2021

15/07/2021

09/06/2021

19/05/2021

12/05/2021

11/05/2021

08/05/2021

25/04/2021

23/04/2021

07/04/2021

19/03/2021

19/03/2021

13/03/2021

27/02/2021

20/02/2021

13/02/2021

11/02/2021

23/01/2021

29/12/2020

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10/11/2020

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29/10/2020

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