15/06/2023
***moment of complete vulnerability. Because we are ALL human.
Through months of binge eating, drinking, sleeping my days away, lows so low that I was fighting to live, I kept showing up to the gym.
It didn’t matter. Days where I thought “what is the point anymore?” “I’m eating like crap, why does the gym even matter”
Weeks where I only showed up once. Maybe twice if I was lucky. I kept telling myself WHAT IS THE POINT.
Something in me would not allow myself to give up the gym even if everything else in my life was a disaster.
I would show up with my clients and put a fake face on. Coach them through their personal goals, all while feeling ashamed inside because I wasn’t showing up for myself the way I wanted to behind the scenes.
Rolling up to McDonald’s to smash 3k calories worth of food, and then showing up at the gym hoping nobody could sense the feeling of shame that I was hiding.
Somehow I kept going.
I told myself that if I cut this tie to the gym, I will lose all of it. Every last bit of it. But I KEPT SHOWING UP.
Here we are 8 months later, I’m hitting the gym again, the pounds are falling off. I’m 60 days without alcohol and I’ve been doing great with nutrition.
Today , I forced myself to show up even after walking 9 miles at work. And today, somehow, I realized that even in those times I thought I wasn’t doing my best, I really was.
Those workouts that I only hit here and there, kept me in the game. Those workouts that I thought were pointless, KEPT ME IN THE GAME.
My advice to you, is that even when that thread is almost broken, don’t you dare cut the tie.
Things get hard, life changes, people leave, but in the end, as long as you don’t give up on what you value most, you will be successful.
Even if you only walk into that gym one time this week, and you question yourself…. I promise you that, that one workout will be what saves you down the road.
Keep showing up. Always.
And remember to always be kind because you never know what someone is battling ♥️