Tending the Spark - Sherry R Hoffman

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Tending the Spark - Sherry R Hoffman

Tending Your Grief & Sparking Your Joy - Gently Guiding & Supporting your Healing Heart

Personal Grief Support, Grief Circles and Online and In-Person Grief Retreats as well as Visionary Life & Relationship Coaching

04/07/2025

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.

~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

*****

~ Art by Lucy Campbell

08/05/2025

Instead of saying, "I know what it feels like", let's say "I cannot imagine your heartbreak".

Instead of saying, "You're strong, you'll get through this, let's say " You'll hurt, and I'll be here.

Instead of saying, "You look like you're doing well, Let's say, "How are you holding up today?"

Instead of saying, "Healing takes time", let's say "Healing has no timeline".

Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason, let's say "This must feel so terribly senseless right now".

And when there are no words to say at all, you don't need to try and find some. Love speaks in silences too.

~ 'Words' by Ullie-Kaye

~ Art by Jennifer Yoswa

09/02/2025

Happening on March 7th, 2025 ~

SWEETNESS OF SINGING COMMUNITY SONG CIRCLE #3
with Song Leader, Sherry Hoffman

Come join us in the JOY of singing in an inclusive Community Song Circle. Bring your PERFECTLY imperfect voice and learn songs of inspiration, protest, love, hope and healing in the oral tradition of call and response. Let's connect, laugh, sing and lift each other up in these challenging times.

Sherry has loved singing since she was a child and has been leading groups in song since 2013. During the beginning of the pandemic, she led 26 consecutive online song circles called “The Sweetness of Singing” every other Friday.
She is also a Voice Guide and Healer and works with individuals who want to have more confidence in singing, and in using their voice more skillfully in other parts of their lives as well.

This is an explicitly anti-racist, queer-friendly, trans-affirming space. People of all backgrounds, identities, and abilities are welcome.
As Rumi would say, “Come, come whoever you are!” Especially lovers of singing!

Fee: $20 -$25 Cash at the door

Starfeather's Lodge

22129 93rd Pl W, Edmonds, WA 98020

**There is plenty of parking out front. Please walk around to the right of the home to the back to the second set of sliding glass doors and enter our comfortable and spacious area for singing.

Friday, March 7, 2025
7:00 PM to 9:00 PM PST

06/11/2024

Poem for the Day After -
If You Can Still Cry - John Roedel

if you can still cry
it means you can still breathe

and if you can still breathe
it means you are still alive

and if you are still alive
it means you still have
some work to do

~ so go ahead and
cry for a bit

~ each tear is proof
of your survival

~ each jagged breath you take
is evidence of your courage

~ you may be
wounded

~ you may be
discounted

but you are still here

~ and somedays simply
still being here despite what
the world has done to you

is a miracle

you are a miracle
you are a miracle
you are a miracle

my love,
you are a miracle

don’t hide your
streaking tears

they are your badges
of salty valor

that tell the story
how you kept going
despite the raging storm

we need you

~so go head and
~ cry
~ breathe
~survive
~ then get back to work

~ be the miracle

~ john roedel

******

Art by Liam Numan

01/11/2024

Poetry Friday - Someday - John Roedel

A Poem for Dia de Los Mu***os

when somebody else tries
to tell you how you should grieve
smile and forgive them
through your watering eyes
and then imagine
how lonely it must be
to be the person who
audits the tears
of other people

the well-intended
will tell you how
long you should miss
your beloved
but
you take your time

grief is a hedge maze
and being lost inside of it
is more than okay

don't race through
your heartache
because you might
just miss a miracle
or two
in the teardrops rolling
down your face

don't grieve quickly
just to make somebody
else feel better

if you need to,
let your grief
become a coral reef

let the algae of your hurt
slowly form over the years
into the softest violet hue of heaven

it can take two lifetimes to recover
when our beloved becomes
an empty chair

it's okay
take as much time
as you need

your healing is your healing
and the scars of absence
will itch longer than you can imagine
but that is because you
risked to love so deeply
and that is far better than
the alternative

I am proud of you
and the courage it
takes for you to grieve
so fearlessly

don't listen to those
who want you to go back
to normal
normal will never exist again
for those of us who have
lost a part of our heart

if the moon broke in half
would it feel normal?
to hell with normal
normal was their scent on your collar
normal was their voice resting in your ear
normal was their touch on your skin
you have a new normal

it's looking at the shape of clouds
for messages from the great beyond
that your beloved is fine
you have a new normal
it's building a cabin in
the woods of your memory
where you and your beloved
can meet for lunch

you have a new normal
it's crying and laughing
at the same time
whenever their favorite
song plays on the radio

grief isn't the enemy
of life
numbness is

don't become numb to your suffering
welcome it in
and let it wrap you
up like a blanket
whenever it shows up
at your door

it's okay
I swear
it's okay
your beloved misses you just
as much as you miss them

and someday
you two will
get all tangled up
together again
someday
you two will
push each on a
swing again under
a shower of falling blooms

and someday
you two will ride
comets together
on the edge of everything

and someday
you two will giggle
at all of the idiots
who tried to tell you
how to grieve

~ john roedel

****

Art by German Rubio (Mexico)

25/10/2024

Poetry Friday - Until I Remembered - Tahlia Hunter

I was afraid of being rejected
Until I learned to never reject myself

I was afraid of being abandoned
Until I learned to never abandon myself

I was afraid of the opinions of others
Until I learned that they held no more weight than my own

I was afraid of painful endings
Until I realised that they were
also new beginnings

I was afraid of appearing weak
Until I realised how strong
I truly was

I was afraid of being seen as
small and unimportant
Until I discovered my
true power and potential

I was afraid of being
perceived as ugly
Until I learned to fully
appreciate my own beauty

I was afraid of failure
Until I learned that
it was an illusion
When viewed through
the eyes of love,
growth and learning

I was afraid of feeling low
Until I learned that it was
the birthplace of brilliance
And where my greatest
transformation occurred

I was afraid of change
Until I realised it was an
inevitable part of life
In a world full of things
temporary and fleeting

I was afraid of being alone
Until I learned to fully embrace
and appreciate my own company

I was afraid of my uniqueness
Until I learned that it was
where my greatness lay

I was afraid of the darkness
Until I remembered that I was the light

And I was afraid of life
Until I remembered who I was.

~ Tahlia Hunter

*****

Art by Hayley Hamilton

10/05/2024

Poetry Friday - Great Love - Becky Hemsley

Mother’s Day without your mum
is to be painfully reminded of the scar across your soul.

The scar that sits where a part of you is missing.
Because when she left, something within you broke and left too.

You were part of her and she was part of you.

But this means that whilst a piece of you left with her,
precious pieces of her also stayed behind with you.

And if you look for her, you will see her. Everywhere.

In the way your nose crinkles when you smile.
In the sound of your voice when you laugh.
In the way you treasure those you love.
In the way you share your passions.
In your kindness.

So, though your mother may not walk beside you on this Earth right now, know that she is still here.

She lives on. In you.
Because love lives on.

You are still part of her and she is still part of you.
She is still your mother and you are still her child.

And that scar is a reminder of what it is to love and be loved. It is a reminder that the legacy of great love is great grief.

Yet grief is hard.
So when it feels almost impossibly painful,
you must love yourself harder still.

You must give yourself great love.

Just the way your mother
always did.

*****

~ Becky Hemsley 2024

Photo of me at 4 with chocolate on my face and my stunning mother at 25.
Thank you Mom - you are always a part of me and I am grateful 🩵

Address

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+12069723769

Website

http://tendingthespark.com/

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