08/31/2024
Tell your husband I said he needs to do better. Tell him I said:
Wipe out the bathroom and kitchen sinks every day. Wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry on a routine schedule.
Don’t wait to be asked—take the initiative in cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, and maintaining the home.
Participate equally in childcare and domestic labor.
Use your own brain, instead of your wife’s. You know where things live and where they need to go.
Stop demanding s*x when you neither wash your balls nor nurture emotional closeness.
Actively participate in childcare, including feeding, bathing, bedtime routines, school pick-ups/drop-offs, and attending parent-teacher meetings.
Recognize and share the mental load your partner carries—planning meals, organizing family events, scheduling appointments, and remembering important dates.
Encourage and support your wife’s professional ambitions and goals, just as she supports yours. This includes taking on more at home so she can pursue her career.
Be mindful of her need for self-care and personal time. Offer to take over so she can rest, exercise, or pursue her hobbies without guilt.
Show your children what a respectful and equal partnership looks like by treating your wife as a true partner in every aspect of life.
Regularly check in with your wife about how she’s feeling and what she needs, and be open to feedback about how you can improve.
Take an active role in teaching your children life skills, from cooking and cleaning to managing their emotions and resolving conflicts.
Demonstrate to your children, especially your sons, that men can and should be nurturing, empathetic, and active participants in home life.
You’re just as capable as your wife is of managing household labor and childcare.
Failure to do so is a clear message to your wife and kids that your time is more valuable than theirs, and that you rely on your wife to also be your mother.
Do better.