11/13/2024
So many of us right now are going through all different kinds of things that are very triggering and anxiety provoking. It can make it feel like the world has turned completely upside down.
Whether these feelings are driven by external factors such as recent world events or election results or whether they are due to personal issues such as family disagreements, stressful marriages, problems at work, personal illness or illness of a loved one, these feelings can be completely unsettling and make us feel like we have nowhere to turn and we feel like we just “can't” anymore.
Sometimes we feel weak and sad and demoralized and maybe even as if the whole world had turned on us.
We may be completely dismayed by the actions of other people and we might not even remotely understand how they could possibly act in certain ways, or vote in certain ways, when they seem to be loving people or people that we respect.
This kind of situation can be unsettling and demoralizing.
When we are in this kind of situation it might feel like we have nowhere to turn.
It can feel hopeless.
It can feel victimizing.
Sometimes it can even make you feel like the whole world is coming to an end.
Or whatever other feelings you come up with.
I want you to know that anything you are feeling is completely normal.
So what do we do to start to help ourselves feel better and get ourselves back on track?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I think I have a good analogy that might help some of you.
I know that it helps me.
I grew up in the snow belt. And there are times when you might be driving down a country road on a beautiful sunny day and seemingly out of nowhere a snow squall can come up.
Within seconds you are completely disoriented and can't even see the road in front of you.
It can be scary. It can be destabilizing. And it can really throw you off.
When all of a sudden you can't see the road and you're traveling at 55 mph it can make you feel panicked because you don’t know what's coming.
You don't know if something's in front of you and you can barely see 2 inches in front of your windshield.
We all know if we panic in this kind of situation it could be deadly.
You could lose control of the vehicle and hit an oncoming car or hit a tree, risking injury and totalling your car.
You could hit a deer that crosses the road or end up in a ditch or even dead.
So how do we manage these kinds of situations?
We recognize that the storm is around us.
We take a moment, a millisecond even, to ground ourselves and find our Center.
We recognize that this is a difficult situation that we are in.
And then we slow down.
We take a deep breath.
And within milliseconds we decide if we need to stop and pull off the road to a place of relative safety.
This is what it feels like to regulate your nervous system, or ground and center.
Or we decide that we continue to crawl ahead slowly depending on what's happening in the storm.
We constantly assess whether or not we can even see the road.
We constantly assess our immediate safety.
And we constantly assess whether the best option is to move forward or stop and rest or to turn back.
The key in our progress is to keep our eyes on the road.
And the key to keeping our eyes on the road is to remain focused and calm.
When we panic we become less aware of everything around us and we may lose sight a
of simple turns in the road that might lead us to safety and calm or an easier path.
In times of chaos or stress, we may have to slow down routinely to NOTICE when we feel “off-center” or “dysregulated.”
And then we repeat the process again and again, as often as necessary, to keep ourselves grounded, calm, centered, and focused on the task at hand.
When we are in a state of calm, we are better able to Plan.
In the snowstorm, we can think about what we saw around us before the squall hit. The shoulder of the road. A rest stop. A friend’s house.
And we can figure out how to get there.
Or we can decide to stop and wait it out until the snow clears.
In times of greater chaos, a calm mind allows us to learn more about our real situation, give time for a situation to unfold, and prepare for different scenarios.
And then we can determine which situations we have control over, and which we do not.
We can decide when we want to keep going, when it’s best to rest, and when we should call for help.
Maybe in some situations, we are the ones to do the actual work.
We probably can’t pull our car out of a ditch on our own, but we can call a tow truck. And then we support that tow truck driver by compensating them for their service.
In other situations where we are unable to do the actual work that we see needs to be done, we can support those people who are able to do that work.
By donating to organizations that share our values.
By providing safe spaces for others to speak their concerns.
And on and on.
In times of chaos, finding your center is essential for maintaining peace and clarity. Here are some strategies to help you stay calm and hopeful:
Get back to basics. Sleep. Feed your body healthy food. Drink plenty of water. Take it easy with caffeine and sugar. Go for a walk or move your body however you can.
Here are some other tips you might find helpful:
Deep Breathing: Start your day with a few minutes of deep breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale through your mouth. This simple practice can help reduce stress and bring a sense of calm.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Take a few moments each day to practice mindfulness or meditation. Look around wherever you are. Focus on something that gives you peace. Maybe it’s a pet sleeping, a picture of a loved one, or a cloud passing in the sky. Think about how you feel when you look at this object or person. Notice what it feels like in your BODY when you observe this object or person. You can practice this anywhere and anytime. But it’s best to practice when you’re already feeling calm and relaxed, so you are better prepared when you have those moments of chaos and upset that we all experience from time to time. This practice can help foster a sense of peace and clarity or calm in the midst of chaos.
Connection with Nature: Spend time outdoors, whether it's a walk in the park or simply sitting in your garden or looking out your window at the sky above. Nature has a calming effect that can help ground you and lift your spirits.
Reach Out to Loved Ones: In challenging times, connecting with family and friends can provide much-needed support and reassurance. Share your thoughts and feelings, and listen to theirs.
Gratitude Journaling: Each day, write down a few things you are grateful for. Focusing on the positives can shift your mindset and cultivate hope.
Remember, you are not alone, and taking small steps can lead to big changes in your well-being. Together, we can navigate these times with resilience and hope. 🌟
