Anti-Diet OT

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Anti-Diet OT

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Occupational Therapist -HAES (Health at Every Size) Aligned, and doing the lifelong work of Orthorexia recovery

All sessions are currently virtual on Zoom due to COVID restrictions

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08/06/2021

🚫Do NOT start a new restrictive meal plan/diet
🚫Do NOT do a cleanse or fast
🚫Do NOT sign up for a 30 day weight loss challenge
🚫Do NOT start an exercise program that you don’t actually want to do
🚫Do NOT get a fitness tracker or app to start micromanaging your food and exercise
👍🏼YOU ARE ALREADY IN YOUR PERFECT SUMMER BODY!
You don’t have to do a damn thing to “get ready”!

07/06/2021

As someone who spent 30 years of her life trying to achieve the “perfect dancer body” I have felt the anger that I wasn’t cast until my body reached a certain weight (and even then it was often not good enough). I’ve tried to put myself in the choreographer’s shoes. What would have been so bad about me being the person on stage, in the video, wearing the costumes that show skin? When I became a choreographer and had the power to cast dancers, I tried to hire dancers of different sizes and shapes (although still found it to be extremely difficult because I could only choose from whoever showed up to audition…rarely larger-bodied folks). But I also realized that there are still certain events that you’re expected to cast for a client who is wanting a certain image and you cast accordingly. I live in Los Angeles so type casting is REAL! But also I’ve been in the audience or been watching an award show where someone casts larger-bodied dancers and I was so pleased to finally see representation. Yes the whole industry needs a revamp. But the person choosing who to cast could also just step out on a limb and take a risk. You never know who is watching and who might finally feel seen and represented.

04/06/2021

I was talking to someone at the dog park the other day. She saw someone in the distance working out with a trainer and she said “I should really get myself a trainer.” She noted the “meh” expression on my face. I asked her if that was the type of exercise she enjoyed and she said “Not really. I prefer group fitness.” As soon as she responded she realized that she really didn’t actually want to work with a trainer. She just happened to see that someone else was working out and began comparing herself. What she really meant was, “I want to start moving my body more.” Had she hired a trainer because she “should”, she would have ended up wasting probably a huge chunk of money on something she wouldn’t even enjoy. She might lose some weight at first or bask in the praise or personal achievement of meeting society’s expectations, but at some point she would have to stop paying this person, the weight loss would taper, she would become tired and resent her workouts. Something she was doing out of obligation or comparison was destined for failure. The same thing goes for diets or any other kind of fitness plan. If you feel you “should” do something but don’t actually want to or won’t actually enjoy it, you won’t stick with it. Never mind that if either of those things are for the purpose of weight loss, you’ll end up disappointed when whatever you decided to do because you “should” stops working. Now you’ve done something for 30 days…3 months…a year that a) wasn’t enjoyable and b) didn’t have the long-term outcome you were hoping for. Eat things because you WANT to. Move because you WANT to. Move HOW you want to. Move as OFTEN as you want to. If there’s a sense of obligation to eat or move a certain way, you will always end up resenting it in the end.

01/06/2021

Ok listen I’m no dietitian here but these two products look EXACTLY the same. In fact, the generic brand might be a little more nutritious in a very small insignificant way. How often do you do a side-by-side comparison when you buy the product that advertises itself to be “healthier” or a “skinny” version? Often they are either identical or the difference is so insignificant it won’t actually matter in the long run.

01/06/2021

This weekend I went on vacation. I had been dreading wearing bathing suits for the very first time in my recovered body in front of other people. Last summer I was early in recovery when bathing suit season rolled around so I was slightly smaller and I also only really wore my bathing suits in front of my family and a handful of close friends. I knew I was going to be in a public pool setting in front of people who have nothing better to do than look at each other. I mean heck, when I’m at a public pool, I do it. I check out people’s bikinis, their painful looking sunburns. I seek solace in the fact that that woman has cellulite too. I watch the woman sitting comfortably in her body with no rolls. I also watch the woman sitting comfortably in her body with lots of rolls. I envy them both. I knew that regardless of whether people loved or hated or felt neutral about my body, they would definitely see it. I spent 2 days at the pool on this vacation. The first day I was having a good body image day…the second was bad. Do you think anyone else at the pool knew the difference? As a matter of fact, I got complimented on my bathing suit. The only person having a hard time that second day was me. I was uncomfortable, struggling to find a perfect way to sit, avoiding turning around so no one saw my butt or the backs of my thighs, even in front of the same people who saw my butt and thighs yesterday. It’s never about your actual body. It’s all what’s happening in your brain and with all of your daily emotions factored in. No one else has to see any of that but you.

27/05/2021

Yes I’ve been thinking about death. I mean we never know when it’s coming. We never know what old age will look like for us and how long we will be fortunate enough to experience it. But is it important enough to be thin now and then look back on my life in old age having done nothing but pursue weight loss? Or, God forbid, to reach the end even sooner having never really lived in my real body while experiencing pleasure in it? I’ve got news for you, I ALREADY HAVE SO MUCH REGRET! I missed out on almost 30 years of enjoying food and just existing in my body. I spent almost 30 years not being able to be at a party or to get through a holiday without feeling ashamed of what I’d eaten. I spent almost 30 years resenting my workouts that I didn’t want to do just because they would hopefully keep me from gaining weight or help me to lose it. I refuse to spend ANY more time not living fully.

26/05/2021

I want to make one thing clear here. NONE of these is something to be ashamed of. Binges are your body’s natural response to restriction and we are taught that restricting our food makes us virtuous and better humans and that regardless of our size we should all be pursuing weight loss (I mean let’s face it, we all know really thin people who are constantly on the pursuit of losing “just 5 lbs and then I’ll be happy”). But I write this post to show that we have a very narrowed idea of what a binge looks like and therefore we may not always realize we are doing it and that there is a problem. A binge is a signal that your body is not getting enough food. It doesn’t mean you’re “bad”, but it does mean might want to take a look at whether your relationship with food is “healthy” if health is your goal. When I was binging , I didn’t know it because I wasn’t just sitting there with a bag of chips, a box of cookies, a whole pizza, and a pint of ice cream. To me, that was the picture that was painted. Binge = eating everything “bad” at once. But my binges were more subtle (although equally uncomfortable). Mine looked more like going out to dinner and saying “I’m only going to have a salad but I’m going to indulge on a dessert” and then eating my dessert and everyone else’s. Or needing to stop at the store on the way home from my “light cheat meal” to get more things to eat before bed and then when that wasn’t enough, making a last minute quesadilla. Or sometimes it was taking a few cookies and stuffing them in my pocket to eat them in the bathroom after I had deceivingly “stopped myself” from overeating at dinner. They didn’t feel like binges because they weren’t “all in one sitting” or because some of the food I ate was still “allowed” but the level of physical discomfort I felt was VERY much binge-level discomfort. But because it wasn’t all at once, I didn’t think it was that big of a problem. I didn’t think there was a need to identify the cause. I felt like I just needed “more willpower”. If any of these less obvious forms of binging connect with you, feel free to reach out.

22/05/2021

All better
⚠️ As always, proceed with caution. The memes may be triggering. My responses are intended to alleviate that 💕

21/05/2021

You guys picked a winner! Thank you all for your votes to help me decide on this beauty! I’m also really excited that I’m seeming to be getting to a point where I know and understand what will work on my body and what my size is.
Suit is from (BLACK OWNED) and this will for sure be my first of many from them! 🖤🖤🖤

20/05/2021

Your way is not “better”…they ALL suck!
👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼

19/05/2021

I say all of this as someone who is struggling to credit myself. I can’t help but compare my movement to other people or to feel like if I don’t do traditional exercise or break a sweat that I’m not getting enough movement. But my body is sustaining itself. I’m not sick. I have enough energy to get through my day. I’m still able to do the things I want to do and I’m incredibly privileged to say so. I just developed this understanding of exercise being something that made me sweat, made my heart race, looked and felt extremely effortful, was an effort to lose weight….yup let’s be honest.But when I look at my life, I work with preschoolers, sometimes chasing them or pushing them on a swing, or physically helping them carry their body weight up a slide. I walk my dog every morning and take him to the park and walk around with him after work. I dance hula for an hour 2 nights a week. I’m moving. Do I always break a sweat? No (but often yes because I can sweat folding laundry). Does it feel the same as when I used to be in the gym for an hour and a half every day? Not even close. Does it still count? Sure does! And it’s not about what I did today or how many times this week I “exercised”. I move all the time. I just don’t credit myself with exercise if it’s not physically exhausting. AND…big AND here…it would also be ok if I needed to not move at all. #1 that would be my body autonomy and #2 I have permission to take a break after the years I spent in disorder. Ask yourself how much pressure you are putting on yourself to engage in fitness in a specific, “acceptable” way and ask yourself if you ARE, ask yourself if that really means you’re not moving. I need to check in with myself more often for that reminder that I’m doing ok, not by anyone else’s standards…but by what feels necessary and good to MY body.

18/05/2021

I have some friends that use Apple watches or Fitbits that say they like that it reminds them to move if they’ve been sedentary for a while. But MOST people I know do not have that kind of relationship with their step tracker. Right now, my work is hosting an incentivized challenge for all employees. Employees are placed into groups and the group that racks up the most steps each week earns a prize. As you can imagine, what was intended to foster teamwork and increase people’s daily movement has made people angry and competitive. I personally chose not to participate in the challenge and I’m watching my coworkers get upset weekly when some team wins by taking some unheard of amount of steps. Some people cheat, some people just happen to have jobs or lifestyles that get them extra steps (ie: custodians, runners). Overall, the morale has not been boosted and people’s mental health is at stake even though they may be moving more. I remember when I was disordered about exercise checking my steps all the time and getting frustrated with myself on days when I didn’t take as many steps as others. There was nothing helpful about having a device on my body to tell me at all times that I was moving more or less than yesterday or more or less than some other person. If you use a step tracker, I encourage you to ask yourself how healthy your relationship is with it. If you DO have a healthy relationship with yours, please let me know in the comments what works for you about it and how do you avoid getting caught up in the self-deprecation/shame or competition aspect of it?

15/05/2021

🍫🍬Did something today that I haven’t been able to do in several years and NEVER without guilt. I went into one of those fill-your-own-bag candy places and got some yummy things. I used to be able to EASILY polish off a whole bag of these. I ate 4 pieces and I was done! Amazing how shame free and easy it was to trust my intuition and my body ❤️🖤

06/05/2021

Bodies change…all the time. Whether we force them, try to avoid it, or they change on their own. So we might as well focus on the present.

05/05/2021

📖Story Time! TW: mention of specific diet

04/05/2021

Anyone else do this?

03/05/2021

I saw a reel yesterday by explaining how “MOST” people regain the weight back. And out of 200 and something comments, a few people stated “Well I lost X pounds and kept it off, so you’re wrong.” A) that’s just bad science and B) if you look at the percentage of people who commented “Yes thank you! I have never been able to keep the weight off!” we could basically use the comments section as pretty clear support of the original statement that sustainable weight loss is in fact not possible for most people. Additionally, here are some other reasons why someone might have sustained weight loss “long term” and feel compelled to think they are part of the 5%.
🕒They haven’t maintained it for that long yet so saying they’ve done it “long term” may just mean they haven’t gained it back YET
🤐They are engaging in disordered behaviors to keep their weight off, perhaps even adding more and more restriction to avoid inevitable regain
😁They do not restrict food and have lost weight unintentionally through intuitive eating
🏃🏻‍♂️They began engaging in more movement than they previously had when they were heavier
💊Their weight gain was a result of factors that no longer exist for that person (ie: they were on a certain medication that caused weight gain)
Just because you or someone you know or a celebrity or WHOEVER lost weight and “kept it off” this does not give us the whole story nor does it make the science any less valid.

01/05/2021

To go with your Saturday morning cup of joe ☕️

⚠️ As always, proceed with caution. The memes may be triggering. My responses are intended to alleviate that 💕

30/04/2021

I saw a post in a support group yesterday from someone who had just begun to heal her relationship with food and her body. She said “I just can’t seem to grasp the body acceptance piece!” In my mind I was like “of course not girl! How can you accept a body that is still making big changes that may be going against diet culture’s expectations? How can you expect to heal so quickly?” And then I realized, that’s what diet culture constantly promises us. Visible results, big changes, overnight success, before and afters that boggle the mind and make people look unrecognizable. Healing doesn’t work like that. Heck, weight loss doesn’t work like that either!!!! Even when it “works” for the short term it never feels like “the pounds just melt off”, like we’re guaranteed. Healing is a process. Accepting a changing body is hard. In the words of “we can do hard things”.

28/04/2021

The whole high weight = poor health conversation is completely irrelevant until people in larger bodies can exist in the world with the same privileges afforded to smaller-bodied individuals. The impact that poor quality health care and a world that makes fun of, attacks, and oppresses fatness every day just couldn’t possibly be one where those people can live HEALTHY lives. When we withhold medical care (not diet recommendations but real medical care) and continue to shame and blame, we do not support either physical or mental health. So to say that fatness = unhealthy overlooks some pretty obvious contributors to health problems, not to mention the physical and mental impact of yo-yo dieting (something that many larger-bodied folks do (and are encouraged to do) all the damn time. So no I will not accept that higher weight “obviously” contributes to negative health outcomes. It is not a conversation we can have as things stand right now.

27/04/2021

You can’t be addicted to something you NEED to survive!
🎤⬇️

26/04/2021

It is so weird how we jump straight to changing our body when we outgrow clothes. If something doesn’t fit, it’s not your body that needs to change. Wear what fits and be comfortable!!!

24/04/2021

I never get tired of doing these 🖕🏼

⚠️ As always, proceed with caution. The memes may be triggering. My responses are intended to alleviate that 💕

23/04/2021

Anyone else SO tired of hearing how much weight people have put on during quarantine?
🤷🏻‍♀️I don’t care.
🙅🏻‍♀️I won’t engage.
🙅🏻‍♀️You won’t get me to commiserate or support your new diet.
🙋🏻‍♀️Take your diet talk elsewhere.

22/04/2021

Fitness is a wonderful thing. It allows us to be able to keep our bodies strong enough to do lots of things like hiking to beautiful places, playing with our children, moving our bodies with more ease through the world. Exercise is known to improve energy levels and mood, among so many other things! Regardless of what body we live in, we all can take steps to improve our physical fitness and make our bodies a bit more efficient (or in some cases way more efficient…props to you if you wanna do a million pull ups for whatever reason). But fitness is not about changing the way you look. Your body may naturally change when you start to move it more…it may not. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed at fitness. And many fitness professionals use their clients’ appearance as a means of measuring their success rather than how much farther or longer they can run, how much easier it is to move their body, how much more weight they can lift, how flexible they have become, how much better they FEEL, etc. Many (or dare I say most) fitness professionals offer weight loss to their clients. Many even use that as their selling platform. If you go on a random trainer’s IG you are likely to see before and after weight loss photos of clients as a selling point. Heck I was once one of those “success stories” to help my trainer build more clientele (if his prospective clients could only see my before and after eating disorder recovery photo!) So I just want to take this moment as an opportunity to show gratitude to people who actually focus on fitness and don’t try to sell weight loss. Who knows if I would have actually grown to love being at the gym if I didn’t now equate it with pressure to lose weight, an always unattainable or unmaintainable goal, and the kind of people and culture that pushed me into disorder. But I do appreciate that there are some trainers out there doing what they are actually trained to do and not offering nutrition advice or pushing clients too hard in order to shed pounds to make a quick buck that the clients will inevitably gain back later. Kudos to you! You are the REAL “fitspo”!!!

20/04/2021

I’ve been pondering this lately. As I have bloomed into my recovery I’ve made a lot of progress on coming to a peaceful place with my body. She and I are cool most days. Most days I don’t worry about needing the approval of the whole world (something that used to matter to me). I know some people think my body is beautiful and some don’t, and I’m ok with that. I know some days I think my body is beautiful and some days I don’t, and I’m ok with that too. But I still find that there are some people whose approval I still want and oddly enough they are not the people I even want in my life. Ex boyfriends, old dance teachers, past crushes, strangers. It’s really strange that I seem to care more about what those people think when there are so many people who love me REGARDLESS of my body. I know that there is still work for me to do in my recovery, which is why I will never say I’m “recovered” but always “recovering”. Can anyone relate to this? Who are those people for you whose approval you want (or used to want)? Why? Could you still be worthy without their approval?

19/04/2021

When I first heard about orthorexia, I didn’t believe that I fit the criteria. An “unhealthy obsession with health?” I mean surely “making healthy choices” couldn’t be unhealthy. But as I listened to other people’s stories about their orthorexia, I couldn’t believe how similar they were, not only to mine, but to SO many other people I knew! To so many fitness professionals! I mean hell, I had been to fitness conventions where I probably could have found more people with eating disorders than not. I think that’s perhaps one of the reasons orthorexia hasn’t been recognized yet. It would be the thing to take diet culture down if everyone who was perceived as “super healthy” or “fitspo” or “wellness guru” or (insert trending term for health and fitness here) in fact was identified with disordered eating patterns. I’m not saying every person with disordered eating would necessarily fit the criteria for orthorexia, but it would be interesting for people to see that things like “drinking water or coffee or chewing gum when you’re hungry” is in fact NOT a healthy choice! Or how tracking your macros is not, in fact, a normal relationship with food. How “never miss a workout” is dangerous rhetoric. I don’t know if getting orthorexia in the DSM would really have such a great impact as I imagine but it could save a lot more people from the agony of eating disorders and get them the support they so badly need THAT’S for sure!!!

18/04/2021

🧨 Look out for that last one! Took me three slides!!!

⚠️ As always, proceed with caution. The memes may be triggering. My responses are intended to alleviate that 💕

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Think about it. Why are we tracking something we need to survive? #AntiDietOT #OccupationalTherapy #MentalHealth #healing #AntiDiet #AntiDietCulture #haes #HealthAtEverySize #BodyTrust #BodyRespect #DitchDietCulture #DietsDontWork #TheBodyIsNotAnApology #RadicalSelfLove #BodyLiberation #EDRecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery #OrthorexiaRecovery #BingeEatingRecovery #BEDRecovery #IntuitiveEating #FoodFreedom #AllFoodsFit #NoFoodRules

When you think of it that way, it really is silly. Eating is something we do whether we’re emotional or not but suddenly when it’s tied to a negative emotion it’s a bad thing. The eating part isn’t bad. The emotion may FEEL bad. The food may FEEL good. A lot of things feel good and we might do them when we feel bad. We’re allowed to eat when we’re happy or celebrating and we don’t call it emotional eating. This phrase has gotten so out of hand and manipulated by diet culture, but really it’s just eating. If it’s more than just eating (aka, binging) then it’s most likely not about the feelings OR the food…it’s the feelings ABOUT the food that make it binge-worthy, plus whatever level you restrict that food because of how you feel about it. But let’s take the blame off of eating. We’ve gotta do that anyway! #EmotionalEating #AntiDietOT #OccupationalTherapy #MentalHealth #healing #AntiDiet #AntiDietCulture #haes #HealthAtEverySize #BodyTrust #BodyRespect #DitchDietCulture #DietsDontWork #TheBodyIsNotAnApology #RadicalSelfLove #BodyLiberation #EDRecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery #OrthorexiaRecovery #BingeEatingRecovery #BEDRecovery #IntuitiveEating #FoodFreedom #AllFoodsFit #NoFoodRules

Is DIETING the CAUSE of EMOTIONAL EATING?!?!?!? Think about all the things that happen for you emotionally when you’re dieting. And if this is a difficult thing to wrap your brain around, let me help you put it into words... #antidietOT #occupationaltherapy #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #orthorexiarecovery #thebodyisnotanapology #bodyliberation #mentalhealth #healing #concerntrolling #fatpositive #fatacceptance #intuitiveeating #foodfreedom #nofoodrules #allfoodsfit #antidiet #antidietculture #haes #healthateverysize #bodytrust #bodyrespect #ditchdietculture #dietsdontwork

VEGGIE BURNOUT! Early intuitive eating you discover lots of things about your body’s desires and often times your palate changes substantially over time. I thought I had a major sweet tooth...turns out I can barely tolerate anything too sweet! In many respects I think I have a pretty good handle on my intuition when it comes to most foods. Except vegetables. I haven’t really been as intuitive as I would have liked. And let me explain why... #vegetables #eatyourvegetables #actuallyyoudonthaveto #intuitiveeating #foodfreedom #allfoodsfit #nofoodrules #antidiet #antidietculture #dietsdontwork #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #antidietOT #orthorexiarecovery #nutrition #haes #healing #youcantmessthisup

Grab your notebooks and let me explain to you the physiology of why diets don’t work and aren’t sustainable. I find physiology fascinating because it’s all the things that happen in your body without you having to do anything. As an intuitive eater I have never been more comfortable trusting my body to take care of me...EVEN IF that means me gaining weight. I am confident that if my body is putting on weight it’s for good reason and not my wrongdoing or lack of willpower. I’m hoping that these few little nuggets of scientific information help you to take some of the pressure off yourself as well and learn to trust your body so that you can experience joy and pleasure in the body you are meant to be in! #dietsdontwork #weightloss #intuitiveeating #haes #healthateverysize #physiology #science #weightgainisinevitable #antidiet #undieting #allfoodsfit #nofoodrules #foodfreedom #yourbodylovesyou #bodytrust #bodyrespect #facts #truth #micdrop #thankyouforcomingtomytedtalk

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