14/02/2025
It’s Valentines’s Day! Let’s bust some myths about lovability! 💕
Many of us move through life believing, deep down, that we are difficult to love. This belief doesn’t form out of nowhere. It often takes root in childhood, shaped by experiences of neglect, criticism, or emotional distance. Even well-intentioned parents who lacked emotional intelligence may have left us feeling unseen, unworthy, or like love had to be earned.
For those who experience chronic pain, this belief can be especially harmful. The nervous system, already wired for hypervigilance, absorbs rejection—real or perceived—like a wound that never quite heals. It can leave us feeling isolated, ashamed, or undeserving of care, reinforcing a cycle of pain and self-neglect.
But here’s the truth: You were never unlovable. You learned to feel this way, and you can learn something new.
How to Challenge This Belief and Open Yourself to Love
1. Recognize the Voice – Notice when thoughts of unworthiness arise. Who does this voice sound like? Is it truly yours, or was it handed down to you?
2. Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself the way you would a dear friend. Replace harsh self-talk with warmth.
3. Meet Your Own Needs First – Learn to give yourself the patience and kindness you’ve longed for from others. This can be as simple as resting when you’re tired, comforting yourself in moments of distress, or honoring your body’s needs.
4. Let Safe Relationships In – Healing happens in connection. Surround yourself with people who affirm your worth, and who remind you that love is meant to feel safe, not like a test you have to pass.
5. Move Through the World as If You Are Loved – Stand a little taller, take up space, and engage with life from a place of worthiness. Your body and mind will start to believe what you practice.
Your pain is not proof of unworthiness. If anything, it is a sign that you need—and deserve—more care, not less. Love is not something you have to earn; it’s something you were always meant to receive. And it starts with you.