Brave The Waves Birth & Beyond

31/10/2022

22/04/2022

When your wife is a birth worker, loves art, and supports local artists, you get her this! Thanks I love it!!

17/04/2022

Happy Easter!!

06/04/2022

I think I just bought the most expensive baby doll. 🤦‍♀️ This is supposed to be my fetal/infant model for childbirth ed but my youngest is obsessed with it! I've even tried giving her other baby dolls but she keeps coming back for this one, especially when it's time to lay down.

26/03/2022

Day 5 of World Doula Week!
Doulas Make A Difference In Lactation!
Just as with birth, simply having someone there to tell you what is normal and not normal and to tell you that you're doing a great can hugely impact your breastfeeding journey.
We help you trouble shoot common and basic breastfeeding or pumping issues and offer resources for more challenging cases. We love our local CLC's and IBCLC's!

25/03/2022

Doulas Make a Difference for Families!
Have you heard of a sibling doula?
A sibling doula is someone who prepares and supports older children for the birth of their new sibling! We are also with them during labor and birth, in or near the birth space. Even if clients opt to not have their older children in the immediate birth space, there are plenty of ways sibling doulas can assist families.
During pregnancy, we provide children's books, videos, and other resources to get them used to the idea of birth and what they might hear and see. A favorite tool among clients is my MamAmor doll that gives birth and breastfeeds!
Sibling doulas help prepare children for postpartum life, as well. We teach them about breast or bottle feeding, how to be safe around the baby, and maybe some age-appropriate chores or skills to help them become a little more independent and take some stress off of parents.
Sibling doulas help to normalize birth and postpartum for future generations!

25/03/2022

Day 4 of World Doula Week!
Hey dads! Doulas make a difference for you too! Doulas support partners in many ways. We take the pressure off of partners who aren't comfortable or confident in a supportive role. And for partners who want to be really involved, doulas provide education and tools for how to do that. I actually teach a Daddy Doula class, specifically for partners who will be the main or only support person during birth!
But whether you want to be super involved or not, doulas and dads can take turns and give each other breaks so that the birthing woman can still have continuous support!
And let's not forget about after the baby is born! Life changes for everyone in the house. Postpartum doulas can help moms and dads with night feeding, do light housework, look for signs of postpartum mood disorders in each other (yes, partners can experience postpartum depression and anxiety too!), and in so many other ways.
Doulas love partnering with dads! Trust me, it makes both of our jobs easier.

24/03/2022

Day 3 of World Doula Week!
On Tuesday I shared statistical evidence for how doulas make a difference in labor and birth. But what do we actually do for you during your labor and birth? That is completely customized to you and your needs!
I take the time to learn about you, your personality, your Love Language, how you handle stress and fear, what motivates you, and if you have any past trauma to better understand how to support you. Feeling loved, safe, and supported reduces stress. This helps to relax your pelvic floor as well as increase oxytocin which makes contractions more effective!
Movement is another aspect that can help in labor and birth. I always tell my clients to listen to their bodies and move accordingly but I also give suggestions for positions and techniques that can give baby more room to turn and come through the pelvis. These can even be done with an epidural in place.
Ultimately, though, it's not what doulas do for you that makes for better outcomes. It's what you do for yourself when you feel confident, empowered, and supported.
To find out what your love language is click this link
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

23/03/2022

It's day 2 of World Doula Week and I want to talk about how doulas make a difference in pregnancy.
Although we are usually hired to attend births, a large part of what we do is prenatal support. We offer education and resources. Some of us may offer coaching or prenatal fitness. But I think the most important thing we offer is just being there.
We are here for YOU. We build a rapport and a relationship together. When you feel your baby kick for the first time or you feel anxious about test results, we are a safe space to share your ups and downs.
The difference we make in birth statistics starts before you even have your baby. Because you know that there is someone with you who you trust, who supports your choices, and is knowledgable about birth.

22/03/2022

Today is the first day of World Doula Week! This year's theme is "Doulas Make A Difference". So I wanted to start the week off by sharing actual evidence for how doulas and continuous support can make a difference. (Btw, continuous support can be from a partner, parent, or trusted friend.)
Studies showed that the risk of cesarean birth decreased by 25% with any continuous support and up to 39% with a professional doula. That means that if you are predicted to have a 32% chance of needing a c-section, having a doula can reduce the probability to 20%!! That is amazing!
The likelihood of having a spontaneous vaginal birth was shown to increase by 8-15%, the largest increase being seen with a doula.
There was a 10% drop in the use of pain-relieving medication.
Length of labor decreased as well! By an average of 41 minutes.
Babies born to supported mothers had a decreased risk of a low five-minute Apgar score. The Apgar score is a standardized assessment of an infant's health after they are born and is used to determine if they need medical treatment.
And finally, there was a decline in the risk of women being dissatisfied with their birth experience! This is important because other studies have shown that negative birth experiences can increase the risk of negative health outcomes such as postpartum mood disorders and even fear of giving birth in the future.
I guess the big question is 'Why?'. What makes continuous labor support, especially with a doula, so different? I will actually talk about this more during the week, explaining what doulas can provide and why it can help! So, stay tuned for more posts throughout the week!!
https://evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/

20/03/2022

It's gonna be a busy summer! 😅 Brave The Waves has limited availability until September. Book your consultation today!

08/03/2022

Happy International Women's Day and Women's History Month!!

20/12/2021

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I’ve always loved Christmas. I love the lights. The eggnog. The music (non-stop til the 25th!)⁣
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But again, this year, the brand that we have come to know as Christmas feels void of any real hopeful significance. The world has always been chaotic…. but in the midst of a divisive and exhausting political year, images of racial injustices, a devastating global pandemic, the overwhelming stream of information that mostly tells us that we’re all doomed…. lights, tinsel, and peppermint lattes just don’t seem to matter. ⁣
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The curated clean aesthetics of safe shepherds, safe stables, safe and secure stars, angels, wise men, etc…. just don’t make sense. That message of hope is as understandable as Charlie Brown’s parents in this world on the brink of fearful despair. ⁣
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Surprisingly, what IS hopeful is the opposite of a polished and well branded birth story... which is a messy and scandalous vision of vulnerable weakness. ⁣
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Everything about the Holy Mystery incarnating through the vulnerable process of human birth confronts all our ideas of Overcoming Power. The powerlessness of a writhing crying newborn. The chaos of not having a sanitized place to birth. The shocking biology of it all. The mucus plug. The placenta. I’ve witnessed three births and all brought me to tears. It’s a beautiful experience… but not in any safe way. The water, the blood, the body fluids.⁣
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Friends! So much comes out when a baby is born. Like a clown car of human soup. Sometimes the mother poops while birthing. It’s a detail mostly left out of their baby birth books. ⁣
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A Saving Way came into the world just like we did... in all of goopy humanity. There is something overwhelmingly sacred this year for me to meditate on that. That the Christ was born of blood… like we are. That the Christ partook in the powerless vulnerability of coming into the world… like we feel. That the Christ was born into the s**t…. which we never seem to get out of...⁣
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Go Santa. Go presents. Go manger scenes. Go Best Buy gift cards. Go all of it. ⁣
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But for me the magic of Christmas this year is knowing that the saving Christ has always been in the s**t With Us. ⁣
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And still is. ⁣
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And always will be.⁣

18/12/2021

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God WITH Us⁣
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There’s a prophetic word about the coming Messiah in the book of Isaiah that says, “Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot - yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root.” It’s a delightful visual - new life emerging from something that had been cut down - and it fits beautifully in the overarching metaphor of a tree at the heart of union with The Divine.⁣
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Remember, in an ancient context, you received nourishment from trees. There was no grocery store, save for trees, where you could squeeze all of the avocados to find the ripest one. The symbol of the tree is the symbol of sustaining life. ⁣
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The Genesis story has a tree at the center of the garden whose fruit gives life to all who eat of it. Then, in the very last chapter of the vision in Revelation, there is a tree whose fruit is used for the healing of everyone. From the beginning to the very end, the symbol of the tree in our midst is the promise of sustaining life everlasting. That tree is always with us offering life-giving connection. ⁣
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How wondrous is it to contemplate in this season that the tree of life was at one time connected to another tree of life? That this symbiotic with-ness gloriously proclaims that we will never have to do transformation alone.⁣
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May you see that you never have to do it alone.⁣
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15/12/2021

For unto us a child is born. And His name shall be called:⁣
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MIGHTY GOD⁣
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If you live long enough, your life will begin and end with someone wiping your butt. ⁣
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From vulnerability to vulnerability we live . . . that is to say, weakness will be a companion throughout our lives.⁣
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What do we think about when we hear the words Mighty God? Mighty is another word for strength, and there are plenty of stories of the strength of God in the Bible. Strength over the elements and armies and powers - it’s not hard to understand how our idea of God can start to resemble a superhero motif. Less spandex & more drapery, mind you, but I think when most people imagine God, they imagine a kind of Superman version of God - One who is able to conquer the enemies, cast out the evil spirits, and make more wine for the party in a single bound!⁣
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But if Jesus is a vision of the invisible Almighty, what does His incarnation tell us about a Mighty God? Is mighty referring to His physicality, personality, spirituality?⁣
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If Jesus embodied mightiness through an overcoming through physicality, He would’ve appeared in a golden onesie, ripped like a CrossFit trainer, kicking the can of anyone in His way. But instead we find a humble servant wrapped in human vulnerability who is obedient to that vulnerability all the way to death, even if it happens to be death on a cross. ⁣
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Jesus is mighty not because of His capacity to overcome hardship but because of 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽, like we have to do. It is this compassionate empathy that has the power to transform the human heart.⁣
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How does Love restore what it loves?⁣
By being with what It loves.⁣
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How does Love defeat it’s enemy Death?⁣
By accepting it.⁣
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How does love show itself Mightily?⁣
It accepts the humility and weakness of being born. It accepts the humility and vulnerability of eventually dying. ⁣
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And this humble acceptance is the Mighty ground that it saves the world through.⁣
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The mightiest thing you can do is accept the vulnerability of being born and eventually dying. And when you do, you will notice that Love has been mightily with you the whole time. ⁣

13/12/2021

How do you depict something sacred? ⁣
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Something significant happened - a meeting between the finite and the Infinite that changed the way we see reality - and we memorialize it. We honor it & add some shiny gold leaf. Humans have done this since the beginning.⁣
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My only problem in the process of making something sacred is that we usually cut out all the really human stuff. Most paintings of the newly born baby Jesus are of him sitting upright, clean and clear-eyed with a shiny halo around his head. And I get it. This kind of depiction looks way better in a painting than the newly born alien-faced baby the doctor hands to you in the delivery room. Mary as well. It’s honoring to portray her as well-rested and dressed in her Sunday best rather than just waking up in the morning with an achy back and morning-sickness breath. ⁣
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We will always take our most important stories and sacredly set them apart so we remember them for the rest of time. But this process becomes unhelpful when we separate our own fleshy humanity from the humanity found in these sacred stories. When we dismiss the naked fleshiness under all the fancy clothing, we can dismiss ourselves from being ones who could also find ourselves in a sacred story.⁣
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If the incarnation insists on anything, it insists that our physical bodies matter to God. ⁣
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Jesus was crucified naked. Nakedness was shameful & the Roman soldiers were going after his humiliation. But honestly none of us want to see the c**k and balls of the King of Kings when we enter into a sanctuary. ⁣
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So I get it. It’s a holy reverence that implores us to put a loincloth on his beaten and pierced body. But to be clear, this is editorializing the story. Even if it is only in our mind’s eye, we must hold to a vision of a God who shared the fullness of our naked vulnerabilities. ⁣
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Mary is worthy to be revered because she was asked to bear in her body the weight of sacred motherhood.⁣
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Let’s give kindness to her body, and kindness to our bodies as well. Because our body, with all its fleshy, sweaty, hairy, nausea-prone, heartburn-prone, cellulitey gloriousness, will be a part of the sacred story we will one day find ourselves in. ⁣
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11/12/2021

It’s assumed that Mary rode on a donkey, but the Bible doesn’t say she did. ⁣
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It’s assumed there was an innkeeper, but it doesn’t mention one anywhere. ⁣
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It’s assumed there were three Magi, but it doesn’t give a number of those who showed up. ⁣
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It’s assumed there was a star overhead when Jesus was born, but it doesn’t say that either. ⁣
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It’s assumed that Jesus was born in a stable, but all it says is that He was laid in a manger - and that could’ve been any number of places. ⁣
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Christmas comes with many assumptions—some helpful, some not so much. ⁣
Spirituality also comes with many assumptions, and the ones that fail us are the ones we make about what it’s supposed to look like, who is worthy for it to happen to, and what kind of outcome it’s supposed to have for us. Assumptions like . . . ⁣
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You should be more than you are now to be pleasing to God. ⁣
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Your weaknesses are in the way of God’s plan for your life. ⁣
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Your lack of religious excitement disqualifies you from divine participation.⁣
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You’re probably not doing it right.⁣
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Other spiritual people have something you don’t have.⁣
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Our assumptions hinder our spiritual journey in all kinds of ways, and the antidote to assumption is surprise. The surprise of Christ’s incarnation is that it happened in Mary’s day as it is happening every day in your lack of resources, your overcrowded lodging, your unlit night sky, your humble surroundings. ⁣
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It’s a surprise that life can come through barren places.⁣
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It’s a surprise that meek nobodies partake in divine plans. ⁣
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It’s a surprise that messengers are sent all along the hidden journey of life to let you know you are not alone.⁣
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It’s a surprise that you will be given everything you need to accomplish what you’ve been asked to do.⁣
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It’s a surprise that nothing can separate you from the love of God.⁣
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Nothing can separate you from love.Your assumptions believe there must be something that can . . . But surprise! ⁣
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Nothing can. ⁣
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May you thank God with joyful surprise at how much you have assumed incorrectly. ⁣
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10/12/2021

Virgin birth. ⁣
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Honestly . . . it feels a bit beyond my pay grade to write about it. ⁣
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I mean, I attended biology class and I am the father of three children, so I can explain the steps two humans take to make a baby. But how that happened between the finite and the Infinite, I don’t know.⁣
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Throughout our lives, we will encounter paradox - two seemingly contradictory truths existing in the same space and time. And at the heart of the Christ story is a paradox: Jesus - fully God and fully human - where the finite and Infinite wove together salvation in the belly of a young woman.⁣
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This part of the Christmas tradition will remain a mystery and may never be fully explained. And that’s okay . . . because the function of a paradox is not to solve opposition, but to be transformed by living in the middle mystery of them. So here’s the mystery for us today: ⁣
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Transformation is a Virgin Birth⁣
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A paradox. You have a choice in transformation, and yet there are other parts of your transformation that you’re not in charge of. It’s less about your mustering up the strength to accomplish something and more about your being open to the transformation that God wants to do in you. The Divine inception begins quietly and deeply within you. ⁣
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Surely you have experienced this unanticipated change. Like a nagging knowing that it’s time to move on from your comfortable situation. Or a deep desire to try that thing that scares you the most. Or that unexpected longing for prayer. Or the revelatory conclusion that the best way forward is to be kinder to your weaknesses. Or a persistent invitation to forgive someone you feel hurt by. ⁣
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This is the place where the Divine begins new life. And newness of life is what we all desire.⁣
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“For nothing will be impossible with God” was the answer Mary received from the messenger and I believe we get the same answer. Most of us will not have an angel announce those words to us. But I do think all of us can whisper the statement that catalyzes deep transformation and restoration: ⁣
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“Let it be to me according to your word.” ⁣
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May all your impossibilities be the very starting point for divine possibility. ⁣
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06/12/2021

There was a moment when the Presence of God was felt as uneasy morning sickness.⁣
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Don’t be surprised if your current unease is that exact same avenue of Presence.⁣
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There may have been a period in Mary’s journey when she too went through this same uneasy trimester. I can imagine the moment it hit, ending the spiritual high of angelic announcement and welcoming her into the uneasy, queasy feeling of actually having to go through the physical details of this divine calling. That’s the rub of all divine proclamations, isn’t it? The announcement that you are going to grow.⁣
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The process of growth is always uneasy, because growth never comes through ease. It comes through the stretching and expanding of one’s own capacity to push on ahead.⁣
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And often the change that needs to happen in order for you to grow may leave you dry heaving on the sidelines. Like when you run until you feel like throwing up as you prepare for the day of the marathon. Or the anxiety nausea of packing up your worldly possessions and moving to a part of the world that is unknown to you. Or the gagging nerves of trying to date again. Or the vomitous risk of starting a new career. The uneasiness is not a sign you’re doing it wrong. In fact, just as with pregnancy, it’s a sign you’re on the right track.⁣
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If you ask a newly pregnant mother, hugging the toilet while racked with morning sickness, why it’s worth going through all this hardship, she will wipe away remnants of last night’s dinner with a piece of toilet paper and whisper, “For love. It’s worth it because I love this child.” The answer to our question to God is surprisingly the same. ⁣
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Just like morning sickness, the unease is a strategy of the soul to protect you from doing all the things as usual that could harm this new life being grown in you. It’s for love that you have been moved from what is known to what is unknown. It’s for love that you have been moved from your comfortable perch so you can be enlarged by a different perspective. It is for love that you have been broken open so a larger capacity of faith, hope, and love can be built inside you. ⁣
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For love. ⁣
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It’s because you are loved.⁣
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05/12/2021

Any real connection involves vulnerability. ⁣
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Whether in marriage or friendship - even in our work. To attempt to create anything in this world is to take a risk. All creating is an expression of vulnerability. ⁣
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Even in our biology. ⁣
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The ancient psalmist alludes to an interior process of knitting - a delicate intertwining of individual strands over and over again until eventually an elaborate and beautiful tapestry comes to fruition. Presently we have been able to bear witness to this in-utero knitting through published photographs, but throughout the history of humanity, that knitting process remained an interior secret. ⁣
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This interior secret is a vulnerable relationship between two individuals. The forming child trusts the mother to provide all it needs so it can be knit together to completion. The mother offers herself to the forming child, trusting it will take what it needs to mature into completion while refraining from harming her. Both parties grow together connected at their vulnerabilities. Both parties take the risk of creating something new together.⁣
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If you don’t know anyone who has had a miscarriage, just wait. You will. ⁣
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And if you don’t know of at least one person who has lost their life trying to bring another life into this world, just wait. You will. ⁣
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The risks are all too painfully real. ⁣
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What does it say about a God who’s willing to be this vulnerable with us? ⁣
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who’s willing to come into this world through the statistical risk of childbearing?⁣
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who’s willing to be attached by a placenta for nourishment and life to Its own creation?⁣
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who’s willing to wait and grow in the human womb? ⁣
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who’s willing to be fearfully and wonderfully made, just like we are? ⁣
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Any real connection involves vulnerability because it takes the act of making oneself open to truly be known. God came to us floating in embryonic fluid. Embedded in the uterine wall of a Middle Eastern teenage woman It trusted to care for Its fragile knitting process. ⁣
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What it says about a God who’s willing to be this vulnerable is that God is willing to open Itself up to deeply connect with us. The real question is, are we willing to do the same? ⁣

29/11/2021

I always get excited about more birthing options in the Upstate! Congratulations Genesis Birth and Wellness and Bethany Duncan Arrington!!

26/10/2021

06/09/2021

Happy Labor Day! I'm offering a virtual childbirth ed class that will be free for my clients. Classes start soon so message me for more info and to book a free consultation!

09/05/2021