Frahm Psychological Services

Frahm Psychological Services

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Be kind. It makes you more powerful than you might expect.


Pursue and avoid. Sometimes we drive away someone we love by going after them so hard for our own reasons that they cannot fully understand.

Our own reasons really do make sense, but it is also worth trying to slow down our chase by taking the risk to have faith in our partner. It is risky to let ourself feel secure.





We can fill up the empty space with lots and lots of words without ever talking about the most important things. Sometimes the most important things are the things that we least want to talk about. But that's why I'm here. I'll help you feel comfortable while talking about the really uncomfortable things.



Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr



Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.



In conflict, our words have underlying emotions that result from attachment fears.











In their words:

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all (all)
I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you (ooo)
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down



In these stressful holidays, after months of health restrictions, social unrest, and contentious media reports, life can feel complicated. Find comfort in simplicity: fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches. Just hope you can reach the spot where you feel the itch. 😉



Even the happiest of Holidays can be full of
errands and
expectations and
preparations,
creating
fatigue and
pressure and
stress.

Let’s remember to
pause and
relax and
enJOY
the season of
peace and
JOY.




It's a fantastic Monday morning to be standing at my desk and meeting with clients from around the state.

"How can I help?"



Reward your efforts with recognition of your own successes. Appreciate your progress. Know that you are on the right path because you are trying. Strife might be inevitable, but not everyday, and not THIS day. This day, the path is well marked, on level ground, and increasingly well lit.



Be kind and compassionate with yourself when you "Monday morning quarterback" the mistakes in your life. We are ALL brilliant when we look backwards. But at the time we were doing the best that we could. Have some compassion.




Connection. Attachment. Instinctive, powerful. The real "bottom line" when it comes to understanding people.

Injuries, fear, history, pain, maladaptive defensive behaviors, the "colorful" aspects of our personalities. We all have them, whether we recognize them or not.

Connection. Kindness. Love unfeigned. Taking the risk to love and let ourselves feel loved by someone that is genuinely loving, is the "cure."




Dr Steven P Frahm is a
Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Licensed in Florida, I am a clinical psychologist specializing in Family Psychology, effective parenting, assertiveness, personal growth, Christian counseling, and mood disorders.

I have a post-doctoral masters degree in Clinical Psychopharmacology. I also have many years of experience providing biofeedback for pain and stress management in a medical setting. I do direct billing to insurance companies, and accept credit cards, checks, or cash. Check my website for more information. Feel free to contact me by phone or email to make an appointment.

Operating as usual

07/09/2022

There's so much stress. It will get worse. Keep it simple: fill the empty, empty the full, scratch the itch. AND, find some humor!



01/09/2022

Just breathe. It will all be okay. I know these things.

11/08/2022

The reason for anger is fear.


01/08/2022

Vacation is over and I'm back in the office ~ I'm here for you.

25/06/2022

If you think you CAN, or think you CANNOT, you are correct.
Win the race in your head before you run the race with your feet, and notice the success that follows.


23/06/2022

Connection. Attachment. Instinctive, powerful. The real "bottom line" when it comes to understanding people.

Injuries, fear, history, pain, maladaptive defensive behaviors, the "colorful" aspects of our personalities. We all have them, whether we recognize them or not.

Connection. Kindness. Love unfeigned. Taking the risk to love and let ourselves feel loved by someone that is genuinely loving, is the "cure."


22/06/2022

Are you happy? A happy person has the following qualities:
- open to learning new things
- humble and patient
- smiles and laughs easily
- go-with-the-flow
- compassionate
- grateful
- self-caring
- accepting of self shortcomings
- has healthy relationships
- enjoys others’ joy
- can give and receive painlessly
- has purpose and meaning
- not entitled, with few expectations
- not spiteful, not insulting
- does not hold grudges
- ignores small annoyances
- does not fret over yesterday or tomorrow, focuses on here-and-now
- does not scheme and play games
- is not a martyr or victim
- is not stingy but shares happiness

Happiness thought mistakes =
I’ll be happy if/when I:
- get rich and successful
- find the right person
- land my dream job
- fix my relationship
- recover from my diagnosis
- travel back in time to my youth



Photos from Frahm Psychological Services's post 12/04/2022

Be kind. It makes you more powerful than you might expect.


30/03/2022

Pursue and avoid. Sometimes we drive away someone we love by going after them so hard for our own reasons that they cannot fully understand.

Our own reasons really do make sense, but it is also worth trying to slow down our chase by taking the risk to have faith in our partner. It is risky to let ourself feel secure.





05/03/2022

We can fill up the empty space with lots and lots of words without ever talking about the most important things. Sometimes the most important things are the things that we least want to talk about. But that's why I'm here. I'll help you feel comfortable while talking about the really uncomfortable things.



18/01/2022

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr



Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.



05/01/2022

In conflict, our words have underlying emotions that result from attachment fears.











30/12/2021

In their words:

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all (all)
I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you (ooo)
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down



15/12/2021

In these stressful holidays, after months of health restrictions, social unrest, and contentious media reports, life can feel complicated. Find comfort in simplicity: fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches. Just hope you can reach the spot where you feel the itch. 😉



13/12/2021

Even the happiest of Holidays can be full of
errands and
expectations and
preparations,
creating
fatigue and
pressure and
stress.

Let’s remember to
pause and
relax and
enJOY
the season of
peace and
JOY.




08/11/2021

It's a fantastic Monday morning to be standing at my desk and meeting with clients from around the state.

"How can I help?"



24/09/2021

Reward your efforts with recognition of your own successes. Appreciate your progress. Know that you are on the right path because you are trying. Strife might be inevitable, but not everyday, and not THIS day. This day, the path is well marked, on level ground, and increasingly well lit.



24/09/2021

Be kind and compassionate with yourself when you "Monday morning quarterback" the mistakes in your life. We are ALL brilliant when we look backwards. But at the time we were doing the best that we could. Have some compassion.




22/09/2021

Connection. Attachment. Instinctive, powerful. The real "bottom line" when it comes to understanding people.

Injuries, fear, history, pain, maladaptive defensive behaviors, the "colorful" aspects of our personalities. We all have them, whether we recognize them or not.

Connection. Kindness. Love unfeigned. Taking the risk to love and let ourselves feel loved by someone that is genuinely loving, is the "cure."




Photos from Frahm Psychological Services's post 06/09/2021

1) A truly loving person, loves others. It is part of their character. Their love radiates out from them to others around, like the light from a candle that shines in all directions. Love is not a consequence of others' merits or worthiness. All people, well behaved and bad, are recipients and beneficiaries of the honest love of a loving person.

2) Trust is earned. We trust others because they have proven themselves to be trustworthy. The formula is clear and all are familiar with it.

GOOD for ME and BAD for YOU is the selfish behavior (often inspired by fear) that breaks trust.

GOOD for YOU and BAD for ME is the self-sacrificial formula for regaining a trust, once broken.

GOOD for ME and GOOD for YOU is the stable, trusting relationship of adults with good boundaries.

For a real world example of the trust formulas, consider the relationship you have with your credit card provider. Pay your bill late (good for you, bad for them) and they penalize you with late payment fees and higher interest rates (bad for you and good for them) until they trust you enough to let you conveniently and inexpensive borrow their money (good for you) because you are going to pay it back timely as agreed upon (good for them).

LOVE and TRUST are not the same.







03/09/2021

If you think you CAN, or think you CANNOT, you are correct.
Win the race in your head before you run the race with your feet, and notice the success that follows.




01/09/2021

Dr Lissa Ranks n wrote, "Sometimes we forget that when people are sick or hurt That what they need most is to be connected, to be loved, to be touched."

We were born needing a hug, and at some level we never really outgrow that need.

This is just one reason that Covid-19 and the need for social distancing is a practice that has emotional consequences.




28/08/2021

What are your TRIGGERS?
Money?
Health?
Work?
Family?
That look on her face?
That tone in his voice?

When TRIGGERED, we respond with THOUGHTS &
FEELINGS &
BEHAVIORS &
all within milliseconds.

It's so easy to focus on the TRIGGERS and want to, try to, make them stop. But can we slow down our reaction enough to honestly hear/see/feel/own our THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, and BEHAVIORS?

It's not easy to confront ourself, but luckily you don't have to do it alone.



27/08/2021

Nobody gets through life alone - but we can feel lonely.

Everybody needs help - but it can feel like there is none.

We might feel very comfortable helping others - but afraid to let others help us.

I imagine that's what this Bill Withers song, Lean On Me, is about:

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on...
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill
Those of your needs that you won't let show
You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on...





20/08/2021

Information is ubiquitous at this time in history (thank you internet).

From looking OUT to the far edges of the universe (Hubble telescope), to looking IN at subatomic particles (MIT's Fermion Microscope), there seems to be endless knowledge available to us.

So why do we keep having the same conversations over and over again? 🙂

Let's stay curious.

Frahm Psychological Services updated their business hours. 19/08/2021

Frahm Psychological Services updated their business hours.

Frahm Psychological Services updated their business hours.

16/08/2021

It can be very difficult to see beyond someone's anger to hear their plea for love.

It might sound like "I hate you!" but it's just a defensive way of pleading "don't leave me" or "don't reject me" or "don't hurt me with your disapproval."

People who need love in the worst way have the worst way of asking for the love they need.





12/08/2021

When I listen to the famous Beatles song, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, I hear radical acceptance.

When fears are comforted
and insecurities are calmed
by the healing balm
of genuine acceptance,
then all you need is love, Love
-- love is all you need.



02/08/2021

Connection. Attachment. Instinctive, powerful. The real "bottom line" when it comes to understanding people.

Injuries, fear, history, pain, maladaptive defensive behaviors, the "colorful" aspects of our personalities. We all have them, whether we recognize them or not.

Connection. Kindness. Love unfeigned. Taking the risk to love and let ourselves feel loved by someone that is genuinely loving, is the "cure."




04/06/2021

Don't let the PERFECT be the enemy of the GOOD.
.
.
.
.
.




03/06/2021

We do not need to find someone who is perfect. We need to perfectly find that flawed person who is willing to perfectly find us, with all our flaws.









21/05/2021

Online training to practice at my practice of Emotional Focused Therapy.


20/05/2021

In the beginning, and in the end, it all comes down to...love.


19/05/2021

Because we are human we are all wired to make fundamental mistakes in our thinking. We blame others for our own mistakes. We look for evidence to support our positions, right or wrong. We drastically overestimate the accuracy of our own memories. Out of fear of rejection by those who we love, we act in ways that are offensive.

The hardest work that we will ever do will be that of being real/honest with ourself.


























18/05/2021

Connection. Attachment. Instinctive, powerful. The real "bottom line" when it comes to understanding people.

Injuries, fear, history, pain, maladaptive defensive behaviors, the "colorful" aspects of our personalities. We all have them, whether we recognize them or not.

Connection. Kindness. Love unfeigned. Taking the risk to love and let ourselves feel loved by someone that is genuinely loving, is the "cure."


























15/05/2021

Procrastinating? Avoiding? Delaying? Hiding? Refusing? Withholding? Denying? Slow-rolling? Dragging feet? Putting off? Not doing what you should be doing? Not a problem. Every morning is another chance to get it right. The right time to begin is always, now.


























Photos from Frahm Psychological Services's post 14/05/2021

What is your deepest relationship fear?
I mean the deep down inside fear.
The kind of fear that
you don’t share with anyone.

Maybe it is one of these:
- He/she is going to leave me.
- I just know I'm going to get hurt.
- He/she won't be there for me when I need him/her.
- I'm not good enough.
- I'm a failure.

Whatever your fear is,
and whatever your partner’s fear is,
THAT is what you are arguing over.

I know.
It’s hard to recognize,
but that is what you will learn
in therapy.

And in your good relationship,
you will also learn
that your fears are answered
by your partner’s
love and acceptance.


























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Monday 10:00 - 21:00
Tuesday 10:00 - 21:00
Wednesday 10:00 - 21:00
Thursday 10:00 - 21:00