17/12/2022
You may not know that my husband has Parkinson's. It's been a challenging time, particularly since early October. If anyone is dealing with a family member or friend who has a degenerative illness, I share this writing from a my Thursday evening creative writing group:
Do you remember the story about the young couple where she cuts her hair to get her husband a chain for his pocket watch and he sells his watch to get his wife a beautiful comb for her long hair? Well, that might not be an accurate retelling, but it comes to mind as I’m asked to write a Christmas story. The winter solstice, which was coopted into the Christmas story by Constantine if memory services correct, is a time of new beginnings. A time when daylight begins to overtake the nighttime. I want that story of daylight overcoming the night to be my story, to be Tom’s story. But daylight is not going to overtake the night in this story. Parkinson’s will continue to rob my husband of his mobility, his mind, his dignity, and the essence of who he is. A man who has always loved to travel, to read about history and share his knowledge with others, a man who has always said there is no problem that cannot be solved, no battle that cannot be won. A man who volunteered his time to help rescued animals, provide Thanksgiving meals to 5,000 families, and joined in whenever and wherever he was needed. A man whom I never saw get angry with anyone. A man so gracious and caring. So, my Solstice story would be a miraculous cure for Parkinson’s disease. That we would both wake up one day in the near future, and he would be his amazing active self again. And we could take that trip to France that we had to cancel, and the trip to the Bahamas with our dear friends that we had to cancel. That I could take him to Ireland, a country that I dearly love, and he could take me Turkey, a country he dearly loves. And then there are the places we’ve never been.. the Galapagos Islands and all of South America. Australia and New Zealand. Polynesia. And the places each of has been, but not together. We have been attempting to me our dear friends in NYC where each of has been not as a couple and not with each other. But this is a Solstice story that is only in my imagination. There are no happy endings. There are only the endless days of making sure Tom does his exercises, that the endless laundry is completed, that the meals are on time, meds are taken as scheduled, medical appointments are fulfilled, all the while living in a world that forgets it’s infirm population especially in the country living with the archetype of eternal youth. Maybe that would be my Solstice wish. That our society would acknowledge the challenges of the less able bodied and those suffering from mental illness. What would this country look like if we stopped idolizing the beautiful, youthful, athletic, and wealthy and instead drew to our bosoms the poor, infirm, and challenged? That is my Solstice wish. In the mean time, my more close to home wish is that I could be more patient with my husband’s declining physical, mental, and emotional abilities.
