08/12/2023
As we are in the midst of the angst-filled college application season I thought I’d post the final thoughts in a Boston Globe article on the affects (anxiety, depression)on kids of pressure by parents, peers and schools to be accepted at the right colleges.
The coming days are the ideal time to communicate with children in a way that reduces unhealthy pressure. Take a walk, have a chat, or write a note before your child hears from any of the schools to which they’ve applied. Praise them for the multiyear effort they sustained to amass the achievements needed to apply to college in the first place. Describe a successful life in realistically broad terms, along with the multiple, circuitous pathways that can lead there. Cite a few of your child’s character strengths that make you especially proud, and remind them those strengths will endure, regardless of admissions decisions. Above all, tell them you love them unconditionally. It’s their name, not the school’s name, that matters.�Christopher Thurber is a psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy.
