ThrivLife Counseling LLC

11/25/2022

Let’s hear it for families with communication breakdowns [hint hint, that’s ALL FAMILIES!] 🧏🏻‍♀️🙋🏽🤷🏽‍♀️🙆🏼‍♂️ And we love what Jenny had to say about her experience with the WIRED Fall 2022 session—because it represents not only her truth but also so many other individuals from the workshop we just completed!

10/30/2022

There is power in laughter! I invite you: make a choice today to laugh even if/when you DON'T feel like laughing. 🙂 🙃 Especially alongside your spouse or family. Here's why:

It's exactly when you (or they) have had a tough day, or you're exhausted, or just "down" that you NEED a good laugh. A little bit of humor will help wash away the stress. 🚿🧼

Laughing will also keep your marriage and family together in moments when you’re coming unglued. Think of laughter as the adhesive that helps you stick together. 🩹😜

Don't you love this pic of these WIRED Workshop grads from summer 2022? Give them some love in the comments!

10/27/2022

Our thoughts determine how we feel and behave. It can be hard to sort out all this on your own, 😵‍💫 but it changes EVERYTHING when you have someone walking alongside you, cheering you on and providing expert counseling.

I love working with clients through the complex layers of cognitive behavioral therapy in a way that DOESN'T overwhelm, exhaust or discourage. ✳️ Our minds really are maps for life and it makes all the difference when you have a guide to help navigate. 🗺️

Be mindful of your thoughts
📍 Your thoughts become your feelings
📍 Your feelings become your actions
📍 Your actions become your habits
📍 Your habits become your identity
📍 Your identity becomes your destiny

Give us a call to set up an appointment if you're interested in how counseling can help you!

10/24/2022

"I have done years of counseling and this has been the best experience by far. Cassy is very knowledgable, personable, and patient. She creates a safe atmosphere in every session and I have been able to experience breakthrough and healing just from finally being able to share."
– Nicole J.

Thank you Nicole for this wonderful review! I love my clients, and helping them reach healing, freedom and wholeness.

10/22/2022

15 minutes! ⬅️ All it takes to shift the daily dynamic with your teen. We've now hosted our second WIRED workshop this fall, and families have been learning the value of "Our Time." It's a GAME CHANGER, friends!

Our Time is daily, one-on-one connection with your teen. Take 15 minutes and it’s only ALL about your teen! Just sit and listen with them—no correction or guidance during this time. 😉 Your praise and attention is the most important focus for 15 solid minutes.

This focused time creates happy bonding feelings, nurtures emotional health, helps alleviate sibling rivalry, and protects kids from alcohol and drug use. Our Time works best with a prearranged time that's consistent. Let your teen choose the activity and you go along for the ride.

You'll find it more rewarding and fun than you imagined!

10/20/2022

If your life is anything like mine, you're already anticipating the increased stress as we get closer to the holidays! 🛑 So before we get there, check out these methods to keep in your back pocket for when things get a little... tense.

1️⃣ Breath focus. In this simple, powerful technique, you take long, slow, deep breaths (also known as abdominal or belly breathing). As you breathe, you gently disengage your mind from distracting thoughts and sensations.

2️⃣ Body scan. This technique blends breath focus with progressive muscle relaxation. After a few minutes of deep breathing, you focus on one part of the body at a time and mentally releasing any physical tension you feel there.

3️⃣ Guided imagery. For this technique, you conjure up soothing scenes, places, or experiences in your mind to help you relax and focus. You can find free apps and online recordings of calming scenes—just make sure to choose imagery you find soothing and that has personal significance.

4️⃣ Mindfulness meditation. This practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing, and bringing your mind's attention to the present moment without drifting into concerns about the past or the future. May be especially helping for people who deal with anxiety, depression, and pain.

Adapted from Relaxation Techniques to Reduce Stress by Harvard Health

10/18/2022

A family paint mess — who else wants to try this?! 🙋🏻‍♀️ Seems like a great family tradition to me. And family traditions help kids have fun and feel a sense of identity, belonging, and connectedness.

Our happiness is directly related to adopting pro-social values, giving service to others, and bonding with fun family traditions and happy family rituals.

Family traditions are ways of celebrating events or experiences that help kids experience joy, feel strengthened in who they are, and how much they belong—just as they are.

Want a few ideas to consider for adding new traditions to your family dynamic this season?

🫂 Family game night
🫂 Father-son outing
🫂 Daddy-daughter date
🫂 Monthly lunch date with Mom
🫂 Saturday special breakfast
🫂 Hold a family “Values” night and serve treats

What are some traditions you have in your home? Or ideas you may want to implement soon?

09/29/2022

P A U S E . And breathe. Check on yourself. How are you feeling in your body? What kind of thoughts are you having? Just notice. Now relax your shoulders. Cross your fingers and stretch your arms above your head. Take a deep breath.

And back to the grind. 👋🏼

😘 Sometimes it's the simple things that help us reach from one moment to the next, and I love helping my clients find rhythms that work for them. Thanks for pausing with me today!

09/26/2022

At ThrivLife Counseling, we offer individual therapy AND group sessions, both available in-person or online. 👥 💻 Our empathetic counseling is focused on helping you navigate life's challenges—because sometimes, ya just need a little help!

Instead of "talking at you," we come alongside you on your path to therapeutic growth. We're here, offering strength and powerful tools of change, healing and connection.

Like what?? 🔧 Therapeutic coping skills to help you navigate everyday stressors.
⚙️ Specific tools to address anxiety, depression, relationship stress and trauma.
⚙️ Approaches to confront toxic belief systems that hold you back from finding fulfillment and joy in your journey.
⚙️ Effective and transformative, solution focused therapy, to improve and empower your life.
⚙️ A partnership team approach between client and therapist to accomplish your goals and help you thriv–!

If you're interested in how ThrivLife can help you, DM us or give us a call. We're ready for ya, friend. (757) 453-7800

09/23/2022

Whatever you're facing in your family's life is not "too far gone." That child of yours is still there.

I love working with families and individuals who are stuck, struggling, and even ready to give up. There is HOPE! There is a thriving life available for you, and I want to help you find it, maintain it and starting living it.

Give me a call if you want to chat. (757) 453-7800

09/20/2022

Families working . . . TOGETHER. Our second ever WIRED Workshop is happening now through mid-October, with families who are committed each week to growing stronger and closer. And it's SO FUN!

This really is the work of eternity, I believe. Investing in your own family is one of the single greatest things you can do with your time and resources.

Catching the "ah-ha" moments that these parents and teens are having each week is an absolute thrill.

Where are my WIRED families at? Let's cheer each other on! Past or present, comment with some love down below! ⬇️

09/17/2022

And we all tap "add to cart." 😆

09/14/2022

Now that school here to stay ➡️ And we MIGHT be encountering negative behavior from our young people (???) ⬅️ Get these pointers for parents and teachers!

🔸🔸🔸
We have to start with understanding what's BEHIND bad behavior in children and teens?
🔸🔸🔸

A class clown 🤡 may be:
➕ Motivated by avoiding class work as a diversion
➕ In need of attention and admiration
➕ Or maybe he's lacking confidence and therefore mocking his classmates

What about lying?? 🤥
➕ Exaggeration of truth is often used to mask insecurities, while other lies may be more deceptive in nature, like the lie of omission.
➕ Teens know parents may not give permission when all the facts are known, keeping the juicy details out of the convo.

🔹🔹🔹
As a parent or teacher, how do you DEAL WITH these and other bad behaviors?
🔹🔹🔹

➕ Help your child label their emotions to discover the feelings that are underneath.

➕ Take time to discover the “need” for the child’s “bad” behavior.

➕ Make time for regular “dates” with your child to improve communication and discuss the hot topics.

➕ And lastly, praise and notice the good behaviors. Use the 5/1 ratio for building positive connections (e.g. 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative exchange).

Is this helpful? Would you like to see more practical tips like these? I am cheering you on, and by your side!

09/12/2022

Our internal voice is SO important to our wellbeing! Try shifting these common negative thought patterns into positive and life-giving statements.

We're here to help you thriv. 🌿 Tag or share with a friend!

09/04/2022

Eeeek! I cannot wait for WIRED Workshop to start next week! 🙌🏼 Who has Qs? Drop 'em here in the comments, or DM us to find out anything you're wondering about!

09/03/2022

Research shows that when children have parents who regularly use EMOTION COACHING with them 🚩🚩🚩 they have better physical health, get better grades in school, have fewer behavior problems, get along better with friends, and are more emotionally resilient and mentally healthy than children whose parents don’t use the skill.

Use these tips to help your child understand and label their emotions in order to express them in prosocial ways. 👍🏾

1. This graphic can help your children identify and label their emotions. You can have them repeat the words to describe how they are feeling, and give examples.
2. Help your children decide on prosocial ways to express their emotions; and set behavior limits so they know what is, and is not, acceptable.
3. Be aware and pay mindful attention to your child’s feelings and emotions.
4. Take a deep breath and calm yourself when a child exhibits negative emotions, and recognize it as a teaching opportunity.
5. When children react in antisocial ways, privately review this graphic with them. Have them describe a prosocial way to express their emotions instead. Have them practice it and compliment them on their progress.
6. Listen kindly and intently; seek to understand by paraphrasing what he/she appears to be feeling, and validate your child’s right to feel that way (even if you disagree).

We are all on this path together, friends, and I am here to support you!

09/02/2022

Here’s how to confront negative behavior in a way that ⬇️ REDUCES ⬇️ conflict, instead of increases it! 👉🏼 7 clear steps for this common parenting challenge:

1. Find a good time to talk privately and calmly.
2. Describe the behavior you observed.
3. Ask what happened.
4. Ask what your teen or child could have done differently.
5. Ask what they can do to correct behavior and make amends. Give consequence if needed.
6. Ask them to practice the correct behavior.
7. Express love.

We help families learn these methods and (many more!) in our upcoming WIRED Workshop for parents and teens (age 11-18). Starting September 8!
🔥 Get info at WIREDFAMILIES.ORG or DM us with any questions.

08/31/2022

Parents: there really IS a way for you or your kids to climb out of whatever valley you are stuck in. 🖐🏽 Promise.

When you understand some of the science and psychology of how your kids' brains actually work, you acquire a whole new way of thinking, responding, and preparing for those "tough moments."

I absolutely loved facilitating the WIRED Workshop this spring, I'm excited for the next one starting ✨September 8 (now for ages 11-18!)✨ AND we are already planning on what's next to resource families, parents and individuals this winter.

IF YOU COULD PICK one counseling-related topic, demographic or issue, what would it be? 🔁 What's on your mind or surfacing in your social circles this season? Let me know in the comments so I can add it to our brainstorm list! ⤵️

08/30/2022

Parenting is hard. We all know that. But if you want to raise a well-adjusted, confident, and happy ADULT 🔊 it's an investment worth making.

Check out our WIRED Workshop starting September 8! WIREDFAMILIES.ORG for info.

08/29/2022

Tips for your parenting toolbox 👇 Because let's be honest...

One of the hardest things for parents is staying calm when their teen or child misbehaves. It IS possible when you develop the right attitudes and skills. Like this:

Attitude #1: “I want to be a personal trainer for my child, not a punisher.” Attitude #2: “Anger makes my brain less effective, distracts my kid from what I want him to learn, and harms relationships.”
Attitude #3: “I can choose to not be angry.”

--------

Skill #1: “As soon as your teen/child misbehaves, take a deep, calming breath before saying (or texting) anything.”

Skill #2: "When a teen/child misbehaves, think of it as a teaching moment, and ask yourself, “What skill is my child missing in this situation?”

Skill #3: Use this pattern to help you give calm consequences:
1) “I understand you feel . . . “ (Express empathy.)
2) “Just now you . . . “ (Say what they did wrong.)
3) “What you need to do is . . . “ (Tell the skill they should have used instead.”
4) “For choosing to ..., you've earned a negative consequence of...“
5) “If you want to practice the skill of... right now, we'll reduce the negative consequence to... “

Sound like any of these might help you? I hope so AND, I believe in you and your parenting abilities. DM us with any questions!

08/28/2022

Is your kid/teen/young adult moving to a new grade level, school, job or college really soon? (Or perhaps you JUST dropped them off in their new dorm like I did??? 😳🤩😭🥳🥺)

I'm here to arm you with some helpful tips for guiding them well in these first few weeks of the new school year.

Whether your school-aged child is getting a new classroom/teacher, your pr***en is becoming a teenager, or your teen is becoming a young adult, I want to help you . . .

SLEEP is important for all ages. I know this info is specifically describing impact on teens, but you CAN translate them to whatever age your kids are.

Here's what lack of sleep during this transitional season might look like for different ages/stages:

😵‍💫 Increase in tantrums and/or physical outbursts
😵‍💫 Relational fractures with friends/friend groups
😵‍💫 Violence
😵‍💫 Weight management problems
😵‍💫 Frequency of illness
😵‍💫 Depression and suicidal thoughts

There may be other causes for these same issues, and many may need to involve deeper consideration and care. But for now, simply consider: do you think your kid is getting enough SLEEP? 💤

And how can you help them in a supportive (not accusatory or pressure-inducing) way? 😉

08/27/2022

WIRED Workshop is an 8-week behavioral skills training course. 🟠 It's a group coaching experience for parents and teens (11 to 18 years of age), and it's a GAME-CHANGER for all types of families!

WIRED’s group coaching method creates an even playing field for family training by taking the pressure off individuals as they connect and learn with other parents and their teens.

More info and register at WIREDFAMILIES.ORG!

08/23/2022

Girls came to visit me at work. Lucky ☘️ me!! 🥰

05/25/2022

Do you deal with any of these? 👆🏼 You don't have to cope alone. Counseling gives you the chance to talk about stuff that's hard in life or interfering with your daily activities.

I'm available to help you! Give me a call: 757-453-7800.

05/23/2022

How to Handle PEER PRESSURE by PRE-PROBLEM SOLVING.

1. Think ahead of possible problem-causing situations you might be asked to participate in.

2. Test it out in your mind - give each situation the pro-social “P-OK-E & C” test: 👉🏽.👀
P = Is any PART of it illegal, immoral, unkind, unsafe, or unethical?
OK = Is it OK with my parents, the public, and the police if dot it?
E = Of everyone did it to me, would I like it?

3. Think about negative CONSEQUENCES that could happen if you did it.

4. Practice saying “No” using the 5 C’s (see post from last week) and find something fun to do instead.

I believe in you!

05/21/2022

Exercise reduces stress by triggering “pleasure chemicals” in our brain such as serotonin and dopamine that make us feel calm and happy.

This reduces anxiety, which affects mood, vitality, alertness, and feelings of well-being. Studies show that only 15 minutes of vigorous, heart-pumping exercise helped kids focus and be less “antsy” for two to four hours afterwards.

Let me hear all my parents say, "Yes, please!" 😆

There really ARE practical, easy things we can each do to improve our mental health. You don't have to stay feeling "some kinda way."

05/17/2022

3 things for you to do this month: ⬇️⬇️⬇️

1️⃣ Take care of yourself
Life has lots of ups and downs. Some are solvable but others, not so much. When your mental health acts up, seek the right treatment and make yourself better because, after all, life has much more to offer than just pain and suffering.

2️⃣ Take care of your loved ones
Check up on your friends and family. A lot of times, all people need is a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Support and encourage them if they're being treated for any mental problems.

3️⃣ Talk about mental health
One of the best things to do this month is talk about it with your people. The more you talk about it, the more normalized it becomes. This is one of the purposes of this nationally-recognized month because the stigma attached to mental health has caused a lot of problems in our culture.

If nothing else, it's a great conversation starter. I'm cheering you on! Let's improve our mental health this month, and support the people around us to do the same.

05/12/2022

For your kids/teens/young adults! When pressured by friends to do something they don't want to do—or that they know is harmful—it can be hard to say "no." Really!

But:

You can help your kids, teens, and even young adults to face these pressures in ways that are kind but firm, and keep their friends in the process. They'll be glad they did!

Save this one so you can come back and remember when you need it. 😉

05/08/2022

Hey everyone, it’s “the daughters,” Payton and Brinley 🥸👋🏼 We’re taking over Cassy’s socials for a sec to share something!

We know Cassy as Mom.

✨To us, she is so strong, so powerful, and ridiculously fun!!! We look up to her every 👏🏼 single 👏🏼day👏🏼.

We have had many ups and downs as a family, but she is always constant and is always our rock!

She models for us both what it means to be a bad-to-the-bone woman ;) Thank you Mom for well, literally everything.

So here’s to Cassy, our amazing mom, and the mother of the amazing Counseling Center! 🥂🥂🥳 HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

05/04/2022

Want to reduce your stress? Don't try too many things at once—that's STRESSFUL! Instead: start by simply finding out what's stressing you out.

If you checked more than a few items in our "stress test" post yesterday, it's important to narrow down the thing (or things) causing your stress.

Consider this list, and see what jumps out at you. It will probably be multiple things, so go easy on yourself. You're simply starting with a "pulse check" of your mindset:

• Negative thoughts about self/others
• Friendship problems
• Rejection
• Fighting, hostility within family
• Health problems
• Too many activities
• Too high expectations
• Too many demands
• Poor time management skills
• Being late
• Procrastination
• Disorderly home
• Not enough sleep
• Poor nutrition
• Lack of exercise
• Divorce of parents
• Changing schools
• Being bullied at school or online
• Excess time on social media
• Unsafe neighborhood
• Lying/dishonesty
• Financial problems
• Overspending; no budget
• Difficult co-worker
• Demanding relatives
• Loved one’s death
• Holding resentment, grudges
• Poor relationship skills
• Too many responsibilities
• Violent video games or music
• Too much screentime

Because stress is triggered by our thoughts and circumstances, the more we take control of these, the more we're able to reduce negative stress. It IS possible to "stress less," and I want to help you do it!

05/03/2022

Stress is COMMON. So I'm holding your hand to increase your AWARENESS, UNDERSTANDING, and build a TOOLKIT for your everyday life . . .

But first! It's important to know where are ARE, so we can get to where we WANT to be!

Besides too much stress causing physical symptoms like high blood pressure and insomnia, it can also cause changes in our emotions, attitudes, and productivity. Amen??

Let's really get clear about our level of stress.

Use this helpful tool to discover, how stressed are you? Screenshot the list, then mark it up to identify anything you've noticed lately in yourself. If you checked more than a few items, I have practical tips for you coming tomorrow!

(Go to my profile and tap the 🛎 icon at the top so you get notified and don't miss these helpful suggestions!!)

That's all for today, friends. One step at a time! ☝️

04/20/2022

What you need to know about the affects of STRESS on your body, mind and life. It's not as stressful as it sounds. ✌️

When our brain perceives a threatening or stressful situation, it triggers chemicals that shut down body systems not needed for instant survival (like our immune system), raises blood pressure and heart rate, and diverts blood from our brain to our large muscles. 🔕

While some stress is positive, in helping us become energized to finish demanding tasks, too much stress is negative. When our body remains in a negative stressed “high alert to danger mode” for long periods, it impairs our health. 😣

It also makes us more likely to respond aggressively to people or things that stress us. Since stress is triggered by our thoughts and circumstances, the more we take control of these, the more we are able to reduce negative stress. 🧘🏽‍♀️

But you CAN conquer that stress beast, and I'll show you how. If you stick with me this week, you'll see step-by-step how to gain more control of your mind and body in the face of stress. 🪂

04/18/2022

Q: "How are you?" A: "Tired." 😒 How often do you have this conversation with people? It's SO COMMON!

The world isn't what it was 3 years ago. Patience is low, stress is high, gas prices are higher. 😵

Check out these thoughts from Brad Stulberg in his recent article on Time.com. I think it's really good insight!

"Not only are we lacking many sources of positive and energizing excitement, but we are replacing them with negative and exhausting sources of anxiety.

1️⃣ "We need to stop replacing our desire for excitement with anxiety. When you feel the urge to doom scroll, ask yourself what is fueling that urge? If the answer is some vague notion of well, it’s something to do, then you’ve got to resist the urge.

2️⃣ "We need to do everything possible to insert some positive excitement into our lives in a way that feels safe. There is an inertia to fatigue. And while physical fatigue often benefits most from rest, psychological fatigue—the variety I am describing in this piece—often benefits most from action.

"In other words, you don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a shot at feeling good. 🔥🔥🔥

---------

I love that last thought especially! Friends, let's get going to give ourselves a shot at feeling good. The weather is getting fabulous here in Hampton Roads, even a quick walk outside will refresh that mindset!

📄 Brad Stulberg, "Why You Feel So Tired All the Time" Time.com

04/16/2022

Communication breakdown with your teen or young adult child? 🔇 DO THIS: Listen to understand, over being understood. /// This might seem counterintuitive but I GUARANTEE that it will improve the two-way communication between you and everyone else in your life.

Especially in your family, your work, and those closest to you. Here's how to use this little trick called LUV listening:

LISTEN politely with a true desire to understand other people’s ideas and feelings when they talk to you.

UNDERSTAND: Show understanding by nodding your head, asking polite questions, or repeating back the main points to make sure you understand.

VALIDATE the other person’s point of view—even if you disagree—by saying, "I see why you feel that way...”

Try it out and let me know what you think! I'm going to step up my listening game this week, too!

04/14/2022

Kids might be small, but their feelings usually aren't. 👋🏽 Children and teens lack the skills to self-regulate that emotionally healthy adults have acquired over a lifetime.

Conflict resolution is one of those TOP areas where we can help our children learn to self regulate.

A few strategies to help kids resolve conflict with each other:
1. Stop. Help your child notice when their feelings are getting bigger than their ability to cope, and encourage a PAUSE so things don't get out of hand.
2. Say. Say what the conflict is about. "Oh, you wanted the red crayon instead of the blue one, but your sister is using it and that makes you frustrated?"
3. Think. Think of positive options. "Hmm, let's think of what you can do. What is a kind way to try and get the crayon—could you use words to tell her?"
4. Choose. Choose a positive option that both agree on. Teaching negotiation skills at a young age will continue serving your child for years to come!
5. Respect. Respect the opinions of others, whether or not you agree. If conflict seems inevitable because of a standstill ( , anyone? 😂), help your child think creatively about other options.

I know it takes more time to handle "little" drama like this so deliberately, and you might have a faster idea, but resist the urge! Consider this type coaching as a deposit into their emotional intelligence.

You're helping them grow up to become problem solvers, peace makers, and generally healthy humans! Can I get a 👏🏼 in the comments if you like this tip?

04/09/2022

I love 💕 spending time ⏰ with my girls. They have been such great participants and team players during my parenting/teen group “WIRED.” ⚡️🧠
This morning we had our family meal 🍽 and used the “family meeting agenda” home practice worksheet📝, and watching the videos linked from Thursday night session.


Planning on doing more groups in the future. If you’re interested let me know!! 🧠⚡️

04/09/2022

03/25/2022

If you always cope with unhappiness by forcing a smile and pretending you're not upset, this can create other problems. It can feel inauthentic and it can be part of a greater pattern of not dealing with your feelings.

Also, if you fake a smile to people who are close to you, then the ones who COULD offer support don't know that anything is wrong, and this can keep you from getting social support that could help you feel better.

So next time someone asks, "How are you?" –– pause. ⏸ Think about whether or not you're ACTUALLY fine, or whether you could be more honest and get some encouragement in the moment.

03/24/2022

"Mindfulness" has become a buzz word lately, but you must know: it's MORE than a trendy word—it's an extremely useful method for improved mental health at all ages! Here are 6 practical benefits of mindfulness.

Trains your brain to pay attention to things that are important to you, and:

• Reduces stress; triggers feel-good brain chemicals
• Increases neurons in the good-judgment part of your brain
• Helps you notice and enjoy more of the happy, joyful things
• Helps you become more loving and less critical, judgmental
• Enables you to dismiss ANTs – Automatic Negative Thoughts – and feel more inner-peace

------

I'll be coaching parents and teens through the value and practice of mindfulness (among many other helpful things!!) during this first session of the Wired Workshop—this week!! Link in bio for more info. 😉