And it’s okay to receive it! I’ve had a couple of clients call *988* in the past month. They weren’t thinking of hurting themselves, but just needed someone who they could vent to after trying to call their therapist who is dead asleep by 9/9:30pm every night.
They did a really healthy thing, and got the help they needed from the person on the other end of the line.
If ever you’re really having a hard time, call: 988.
The people on the end of the other line will be there to listen & love you through it.
07/21/2025
My latest article:
Our primal, primitive brain, the ancient part of our brain that receives information first, is strictly reactive, and it has one job, and one job only: to keep us alive. Thus, it is always on the lookout...
07/20/2025
This.
07/19/2025
Forgiveness is greater. Forgive others, too. Ain’t no time to hate…
07/18/2025
Fancy a read?
For 17 years, I struggled with substances and alcohol use disorders, in addition to depression, anxiety, isolation & loneliness. The desperation of that lifestyle motivated me to try my luck at being an outlaw. I wasn't very good at that. Everything came to a screeching halt when I was convicrted of...
07/18/2025
Be authentic. And keep it weird. 😊
07/17/2025
My latest article:
Take a look at the landscape of the world right now. Current events. The never-ending news cycle. The doom-scrolling. The constant barrage of absolutely terrifying possibilities with respect to the stock market...
07/17/2025
Mind the youngsters. They’re growing up in some mighty strange times.
07/16/2025
Be discerning. Don’t believe everything you think!
07/15/2025
Is it a prerequisite to “have lived it” and “to know what it feels like” to be a good helper? No, but it helps.
07/14/2025
Evening IOP Charles River Recovery.
07/14/2025
Take away the value judgement. It’s how you became the incredible version of who you are today. There’s still more mistakes to make. 😉
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I’ve worked with many clients over the years -- hundreds, at this point. When first sitting with an individual, I’ll often ask them about their interests in life -- things like hobbies, passions, and pursuits.
More often than not they reply, “I have no idea. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
This is a sad and a startling moment for the individual. People in life often say that they would like a chance to “start again”, to have a “clean slate”, a chance to “do it all over”. To this, I might offer, “be careful what you wish for”. Those at the beginning of their journey through recovery ARE starting over, with a clean slate, a do-over -- and it is always a frightening and confusing experience.
Addiction is much more than just a pleasure-seeking illness. It is a force that envelops all aspects of the user. It is not uncommon to see the culture of drugs and alcohol influencing the way that people dress & speak, the company they keep, the places they go, even the music and media that they consume. Addiction becomes an identity unto itself -- one that can further alienate the individual from others, and from more healthy and sustainable pursuits.
A client once told me, “Recovery isn’t about learning how to stop using. I know how to do that. I’ve done that a thousand times. Recovery is about learning how to live again. It’s about figuring out meaningful things I can do in this world. It’s about discovering who I really am.”
To combat alienation we exercise efforts toward connection -- with peers, professionals, spirituality, activities. Often, in pursuit of these efforts, we get to discover profound truths about ourselves, and our interests. If sustained recovery does anything, it’s that it opens up a bigger world to the individual.
Life in active addiction is all-too narrow:
wake up --> find a way to use --> use --> wash, rinse, repeat.
In the absence of a desperate search for substances, a day-in-the-life of the sober person becomes more open-ended. Though that can be daunting...all of those question marks of what lies ahead...it provides us with an abundance of possibilities, and the opportunity to design for ourselves a new & true identity of recovery.
