01/26/2025
Success story! One of my patients is a woman in her 70s, a former race car driver, and a divorcee. Her adult children live many states away and both are busy with their own children.
For the past few years at her annual Medicare wellness visit, I’ve asked her if she has created an advance directive. Every year, she says no. I’ve encouraged her to at least think about who she’d want as her medical decision maker.
Like so many of my patients, she states she doesn’t want to be a burden.
Translation: she is worried about naming her children as her medical decision makers because it is a lot of responsibility and she feels guilty about this.
I hear this so often.
I remind patients that by *not* having these conversations about end-of-life preferences, one can actually become *more* of a burden. When families do not know what to do, they are torn, and often err on the side of more aggressive medical interventions. This leads to more anguish and guilt - “did I make the right decision for my mom?”
But, I said this is a success story, right?
Well, this year at her annual Medicare visit, I asked her whether she had made an advance directive. With a beaming, proud smile, she said “I did it!” I matched her smile! She said a weight was lifted off her shoulders.
In primary care, we don’t have a lot of time with patients. We do have time to plant seeds, though. And that’s what I did here - planted a seed the grew and grew. It grew so big it could no longer just be an idea. It was an idea that took root and called for action!
So here we are, moving the dial on creating advance directives. Just one person at a time, but for that one person and her family, this could make all the difference.