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Audacity Activated, Washington D.C., DC (2025)

03/07/2023

Sometimes we forget where we have choice in difficult situations.

Most of our challenging situations can't be worse than spending 37 days lost in the Pacific as a family of 6 with little hope for survival.

This is what Dougal Robertson had to say once he and his family were rescued by a passing Japanese ship:

"You can expect good and bad luck, but good or bad judgment is your prerogative, as is good or bad management."

It's good to remember the spaces of choice in the middle of helplessness!

How is your day going?
……………………………………
If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/22/2023

You read on LinkedIn all the best ways to get followers 🏃🏻‍♀️, start a business 👨‍💼, be awesome at sales 📣 , write brilliant content ✍️ , earn a 7-figure salary 💰 , be a great leader etc…

You read and absorb and go out there to implement but splat 💥 You hit a wall. And it feels like you’re failing 😞because it doesn’t happen the way they say it will.

It never does 🫤

Learning is hard 🤯 and it’s messy and it requires trial and error and reflection and more trial and feedback and more error and introspection and then more trial.

👉Be kind to yourself if you’re there today. A little self compassion can go a long way.

[In fact, research shows that self compassion ❤️‍🩹 can actually facilitate learning from failures.]

And if you’re in a good place, encourage someone around you who’s not rocking their goals yet to take it easy on themselves 🤗 and keep on keeping on.
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If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/18/2023

I spent a good part of a week with 16 strangers.

I was in Costa Rica alongside transformational leaders from around the world.

After 3 days, we left as friends.

There is something very powerful about an authentic human connection created in a foreign environment.

The moment you are open, authentic and curious, it’s impossible not to create meaningful friendships.

As someone who lives in my head a lot, I sometimes forget just how important these moments are.

Leaders are especially vulnerable to isolating themselves because they have a misconception that they need to be stoic all the time. So they pretend that all is well, they build a wall, and end up feeling stressed, anxious and alone.

The saying, “it’s lonely at the top”, comes from somewhere.

Do you forget to forge real relationships with people? What other benefits have you found from being authentic? ................................………‬
If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/17/2023

When we experience a 'failure' early on in life: like not losing weight, not finding love, not selecting the right career..
We underestimate how happy we could be if we actually achieve our goals.

We tell ourselves that it's no big deal
We discourage ourselves by thinking, do I really want to be fitter? tied to someone starting over?

It's a self protection mechanism against feeling sucky.

But there are way worse things that feeling bad about not achieving a goal.
Namely regret: one of the most harmful feeling ever.

I'll take the pain of failure any day over
the sourness of unachieved goals
or the bitterness of regret.

Do you have goals you've been talking yourself out of?
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If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/15/2023

You may not FEEL stressed (like many of my workshop participants whose biology showed stress but they didn't feel it at all!) but daily life is nothing less than stressful.

We need to go beyond learning how to manage stress, we need to build daily practices that reduce our stress!!!

If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this! March 31st - April 5th!!................................………
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02/14/2023

There was a time I wished I were invisible. I didn't want to be seen, heard or spoken to. I had actually learned how to be completely UNassertive.

All kids are born assertive. They lose that skill through conditioning and other learned behavior.

Personally, I was unassertive because of all the above. Whatever your reasons are, being non-assertive is harmful to your career, your self-esteem and your loved ones.

Once I realized that, I made mega shifts in how I show up!!!

What stops you from fully showing up as you? Where can you make small changes today?................................………‬
If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/13/2023

When we aim for perfection, we are creating distance between us and those we care about.

Let me ask you this:

What do you get out of trying to be perfect?
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If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/10/2023

Everyone is born assertive. We learn passive or aggressive behavior from the world around us.

They define aggressive behavior as that, “which violates the rights of others.”

They define passive behavior, “where we violate our own rights.”

How many times have you seen passive or aggressive behavior play out in meetings, boardrooms, salary negotiations, decision-making, relationships, and so on?

Where on the PASSIVE to AGGRESSIVE spectrum did you stand? Is it time to be more respectful of your boundaries? Of the boundaries of others?

If you're working on being more assertive, you can do it! You were born that way. (Cue: Lady Gaga!)
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If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/09/2023

It was 5:03 pm. I shut down my computer and picked up my handbag despite the stern eye of my manager.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked.

"It's 5pm. I'm paid to be here until 5, right?"

"Oh, I never leave before 7," he bragged.

I do, I thought to myself. I'm only 22 but I have a life to live.
I made it two years before I ran from that job.

I later worked in all kinds of places abroad that made work not seem like a life sentence.

Twenty-something years later I thought I would grow up and be an employee again. Just as before, I barely made it two years before feeling suffocated, stifled, drained of creativity and the will to live.

This time around, I stopped feeling like failure. This time around I realized that sticking to work that you find miserable (or working with people you find miserable!) is not growing up, it's conforming in the most self-compromising way.

I decided I didn't want to play by the rules. I wanted to write my own. ESPECIALLY AS A WOMAN.

I can't tell you the number of people, the number of WOMEN, who were terrified by my choice. What about insurance? What about your kids? What will your partner say? How will you start a business?

I said this on Carolyn Christie's post today and I'll say it here:

"Growing up is less about learning to play the game and more about changing the rules."

Don't try harder to fit in and play someone else's game, try harder to figure out what rules you're willing to play by then start your own game. I can guarantee you it's 100 times more fun!
................................………‬
If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/08/2023

My grandmother and her sisters had to take over a soap factory in 1920s Lebanon when their father abruptly passed away.

Clients wouldn’t pay them because they were fatherless teenage girls and so they had to fend for themselves.

Each woman went her way to make ends meet.

My grandmother knew how to sew, so she she started out as a seamstress and eventually built a fill-on business, hired ladies to help sew trousseaus for wealthy Arab tourists who came to vacation in Beirut.

She was a woman of strengths, integrity and character and believed in doing things her own way.

She married late in life only after creating her own sense of self worth and later worked alongside my grandfather as they built a business in Jamaica.

What story are you choosing? ................................………‬
If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/06/2023

If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!................................………
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02/04/2023

As a high performer, you're at an even higher risk of burnout because:

- You have high motivation
- Your mind pushes your body beyond its limits
- Quitting is not an option
- You thrive on the bigger challenge

The World Health Organization officially categorized Burnout as a “syndrome” that results from “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

The Pandemic put the spotlight on the value of slowing down, prioritizing meaningful work and building strong relationships.

What's the solution?

Don't change who you are, change what you do!

-> Learn skills and techniques that help with self-regulation and stress reduction

-> Develop a practice of mindfulness and self expression

-> Create and prioritize a supportive community that holds you accountable

This is easier said than done, which is why my friend Toni and I have put together a 5 day retreat where we teach all these things and create the community for you!

If you're on the brink of burnout, come to Costa Rica with us this!
................................………
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02/04/2023

I have been invited as a guest speaker for the Happiness Foundation of Florida.
——————————
Monday February 6th ; 5:30pm -7pm

Location: Cafe Sapori - 205 Southern Blvd., West Palm Beach

“The Universal Secrets to Courageous Living"  
Presented by  Kat Niewiadomska, PhD, CPCC, ACC
………………..
How does our mindset impact our overall well-being and what are the secrets that science and spirituality have converged upon, leading us to a happier, longer life? In this engaging and uplifting mini-workshop, scientist and artist Kat Niewiadomska brings together scientific evidence and mind-body skills that will guide you on the path to a life of joy, purpose and possibility!

Cost includes Happy Hour drink, hors d’oeuvres, raffles, fun and good vibes!

Buy Your Tickets Now!👉 https://www.paypal.com/webapps/shoppingcart?flowlogging_id=f573819e2ace9&mfid=1675519196186_f573819e2ace9 #/checkout/openButton

02/03/2023

My 11-y/o son asked me the funniest question last night:

"Mom, do you walk around thinking that everyone is looking at you and admiring you?"
I laughed and said, "No, do you?"
He smiled and perked up a little. "Of course I do! It makes me feel good about myself."
I smiled and remembered the number of times my 12-yo asked me if she looked good in her outfit du jour.

And this brought to mind some intesting research on how men and women see the world differently.

These were some of the conclusions of the study:

-> Men place more importance on self-views and social comparisons than on on how others perceive them.
-> Women place more importance on how others see them than on how they see themselves or how they compare to their peers
-> Men and women have similar views of performance in the absence of feedback
-> Women more likely than men to modify their self concept in the presence of feedback

In developing people, these are important considerations and help to better understand how effective (or HARMFUL!) performance reviews can be.

Have you seen this phenomenon in action? What are your thoughts on this?
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02/02/2023

"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out.”

Maya Angelou said that. No one is immune to Imposter Syndrome.

What's is that, you ask?
It's when smart and accomplished people:
- Think that other people are just as good as they are,
- Feel that they don't deserve accolades for their work,
- See no level of accomplishment that will make it better,
- Assume they are the only ones walking around in self-doubt.

So what can you do about it?

1. Practice some self-compassion
2. Talk yourself off the ledge of self doubt
3. Remind yourself that you've earned where you are
4. Ask for objective performance feedback from those around you
5. Share your vulnerabilities with trusted friends and ask them to share

Women are especially vulnerable to this (I'll tell you why in the next post!).

Life is hard enough, let's stop twisting the knife into our own kidneys, shall we? ..................................…….
Want to live and lead on purpose?
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02/01/2023

Our behavior is something we consistently react or respond with. Our challenge is to guide our own behavior so that it supports the best version of who we are. Turning it into a game between you and yourself will only make it easier and more rewarding.

I'd love to hear from you: do you work on optimizing your own behavior in some of these ways? Tell me more!
................................………
Want to live and lead on purpose?
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01/31/2023

I don’t believe that failure is learning.

Failure can build or break you.

It depends on so many factors but the most important one in my opinion?

Resilience.

It’s that ability for your soul to be crushed and recover. It’s the ability for you to bounce instead of breaking.

Three things impact resilience:
1- Your natural toughness I.e what you’re born with.
2- Your learned optimism: how have you developed your mindset?
3- The practice you’ve gotten; Has your childhood prepared you for adulting?

I’ve seen some of the best people break after failures because they simply didn’t have the experience of failing enough as kids, and they didn’t know how to think themselves out of it.

Have you seen people break after failure? What kind of practice have you had? Do you help your people fail so they learn to recover?
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01/28/2023

My tax accountant ghosted me...

She's brilliant and sweet and so good at what she does.

We were working great together, the relationship was respectful, polite and courteous.
I never got the sense that something was wrong, that she was unhappy or disgruntled.

Then she stopped responding. Emails, calls and voicemails went unanswered.

The mom in me is worried, the professional in me is outraged, the human in me is wondering what happened and the small part of me is thinking: WTF a polite professional breakup won't kill you.

Regardless of the reasons, years ago I would have ruminated over this for days and wondered where I went wrong...

Today I just shrug my shoulders and call another accountant.

Yes, there is professional courtesy.
Yes, she could have responded.
Yes, maybe she's unwell or something is wrong.

BUT

If you don't speak up and tell people what's going on with you, they will remain oblivious, or make up their own stories about you.

And you? Well, you simply can't carry the worries of the world on your back.

Be a good human, and move on!................................………
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Audacity Activated

03/07/2023

02/22/2023

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