Compassionate and confidential talking therapy and medication management . Selected one of America?
Operating as usual
DO YOU EVER PROCRASTINATE? Sharing this very useful blog post about why do we procrastinate and is procrastination really just laziness ?
Is procrastination just laziness? New Post on the IPA Blog:
By Psychoanalyst Jane Burka, Ph.D.
Read the article here:
Just finished teaching psychoanalytic candidates at the Columbia University Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research (NYC). The discussion centered around my recently published (in The Psychoanalytic Quarterly) paper titled “ Practising Psychoanalysis at the Intersection of Covid-19, the Murder of George Floyd, and Trump’s Presidency: Reflections from a Brown Analyst.”Terrific discussion,with mutual learning. Congratulations to Dr. the scholarly Editor of the Quarterly , for this very worthwhile issue of the journal.
As summer draws to a close, I walk around my gardens and feel a wave of gratitude for the last few splendid gifts of summer , before Fall brings its own gold : the Hibiscus in its magenta/crimson glory; the magnolia tree blooming anew with buds ( one of which I put in a bowl of water, hoping it will bloom ); a few new bursts of pink on the hydrangeas; the little green and purple grapes 🍇 which friends gather to make a special jelly with ; brave new rose 🌹 buds on otherwise wilting late summer rose bushes ; and tomatoes that burst with juice and flavor the minute I pop them in my mouth. And, yes 🙌🏽: absolutely gorgeous, fresh off the tree peaches 🍑 from a friend’s garden ! How much joy there is, in these simple but wondrous bounties that summer lavishes upon us as she prepares to say farewell 🍑 🌸 🍅 💚
This is Riley. We brought him home when he was five weeks old . He’s now four months away from being fourteen years old . His vet says that’s like being an 88 year old man . Six months ago, on a routine X-Ray, Riley was diagnosed with untreatable lung cancer. Two months ago, he became severely ill, and it seemed as though he might not make it , but medical interventions helped. As did the healing power of love from his family. So Riley is terminally ill, but mostly comfortable for now. Every day, I continue to learn more from him about the capacity for joy, the zest for living , the sweetness of giving and receiving deep love, about feeling and expressing gratitude. And about the excitement of a juicy piece of fresh orange 🍊, a bright red strawberry 🍓, and the satisfaction of having chicken mixed into one’s dry food. Simple, small, and routine pleasures have taken on exquisite new meaning, since time together is now so very limited. All love and intimacy brings the threat of loss and grief, but what’s the alternative?
❤️ 🐶 🐾
Sharing a beautiful and thought provoking poem by Brazilian poet Mario de Andrade ( 1893-1945):
-My soul is in a hurry-
“I counted my years and found that I have less time to live than I have ever lived.
I feel like this kid who won a box of candies: he eats the first ones with pleasure, but when he realizes that there are only a few left, he really begins to enjoy them.
I don’t have time for endless conferences to discuss statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations, knowing that nothing will be achieved.
I no longer have time to endure absurd people who, regardless of their age, have not grown.
I no longer have time to struggle with mediocrity.
I don’t want to be in meetings where inflated egos are marching.
I don’t tolerate manipulators and opportunists.
I am bothered by the envious people who try to discredit the more able to seize their positions, talents and achievements.
My time is too short to discuss headings. I want the essentials because my soul is in a hurry, without lots of sweets in the package.
I want to live with people who are very human.
People who can laugh at their mistakes, who don’t imagine their success.
Who do not feel called ahead of time and who do not flee from their responsibility.
Who defend human dignity and who only want to go alongside truth and righteousness.
It is what makes life worth living.
I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch the hearts of others.
People who learned through the hard blows of life to grow through gentle touches of the soul.
Yes, I’m in a hurry, I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.”
“You can tell who the strong women are : they’re the ones you see building each other up instead of tearing each other down.” Here with my cousin (Farha Abbasi, M.D.) a very successful psychiatrist, renowned for starting an annual conference several years ago about Muslims’ Mental Health. This conference, started locally, became a national event and has now become an international phenomenon A big shout out to the other, very special
Dr. Abbasi! 😀👌🏽🎶🎉
We should all learn a lesson from the great scientist Isaac Newton.
Newton once bumped into a person while walking on the street. This person was very angry and spoke abusively to Newton . Newton remained silent and did not utter a single word against him. The person finally asked "Who are you?” He replied, "I am Newton". The person then apologized and said “Why didn't you introduce yourself earlier when I was abusing you?” In response to this, Newton said simply “Because you , Sir, were busy introducing yourself".
“You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” -Kahlil Gibran-
As we celebrate Memorial Day, “…a time of reflection begun in the 1860s to remember those who sacrificed their lives to keep our country free and safe, we all are confronted with a war, and although not a military one, a war, nevertheless. The racially motivated massacre of ten Black Americans in a supermarket in Buffalo, New York, on May 14, 2022, and …the …May 24 slaughter of nineteen Robb Elementary School students and two teachers in Uvalde, Texas, have become predictable and frightening. Both shooters were 18-year-old adolescents themselves. This is a war state, an internal one. This is especially true for our children, whose limited life experiences cannot fully comprehend the violence, but they recognize that their parents, caregivers, teachers, and even armed police officers, are challenged to keep children safe.
…Gibran reminds us that as adults we are the archers who launch our children, our arrows, into a tomorrow we "cannot visit, not even in our dreams." What we must be are the stable bows in this season of chaos and confusion, hatred, and violence.
-Dr. Sheryl Brisset Chapman-
Feelings of hurt and shame are often covered over by anger and animosity. Anger makes us feel more powerful; shame and hurt make us feel more vulnerable. So we choose anger over recognizing the other underlying feelings. And we metaphorically clench our fists in order to protect ourselves. “Step one is to unclench the fists; we can only move forward after letting go of anger.” And then we can work with the deeper feelings that make us feel helpless
🚨 THESE 👇 are the stunning stained glass windows of the Basilica Sagrada Familia in Barcelona: a masterpiece created by the world 🌎 renowned Spanish architect Gaudi.
🚨 And THIS is a story about Gaudi and his mother :
“Gaudi had a challenging childhood because he was too ill to play outside like other children.
But his loving and devoted mother – Antònia Cornet i Bertran – wanted him to still have a happy 😊 childhood under the circumstances.
So she placed his bed 🛌
next to a large window 🪟 with a stunning view of the family gardens🪴 .
And it made all the difference.
Despite spending a lot of time in bed, looking out his garden 🪴 window 🪟, Gaudi’s childhood was filled with joy 🤩 and wonder 💭.
Over the years, he became fascinated with nature’s curved lines, twisting shapes and rich colors. And he loved how every blade, leaf and flower 🌺 was unique when viewed up close.
This fascination with nature's endless, unique beauty inspired Gaudi's artistic vision.
And it was his mother’s 💕 love 💕 that gave Gaudi the strength 💪🏽 to heal and grow into one of the most respected and celebrated architects in the world 🌍.
Let us pay tribute today to Gaudi and his mother …and to all the mothers in the world who put tireless years of caring, strength and courage into raising their children.”
Eid ul Fitr Mubarak ! -sitar
Happy 😊 Easter 🐰 to all who are celebrating 🥳 this meaningful holiday and all the traditions that go with it! 🐰
Happy Passover 2022!
All intimate relationships involve having mixed feelings about those who are most important to us. This comes with the territory of intimacy. It’s not easy, but it can be done. And therapy helps us learn to tolerate and become comfortable with our ambivalent feelings ’sPorcupines
To all who celebrate the month of Ramzan as a month of fasting and prayer : Ramzan Mubarak !
Looking forward to presenting clinical material at the Florida Psychoanalytic Center, Miami , on Thursday, Feb 24th, from 7:30 to 9:00 pm EST. Discussing clinical material is one of the best ways to understand how psychoanalytic ideas help us help our patients. No charge for this event.1.5 CEs/CMEs. If you’d like to attend, please email Ms. Martha Ortiz at [email protected]
Looking forward to seeing some of you there!
It was a pleasure teaching a class for psychoanalytic candidates at the Columbia University Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research. The class was part of a seminar on Identity and Context in Theory Making. A lively discussion took place about how the analyst’s identity, and the patient’s identity , affect the work of the analytic dyad and contribute to psychoanalytic theories about understanding the mind . Many thanks to Drs. Wendy Katz and Alison Brown, for facilitating the discussion . We used one of my analytic papers “ A Very Dangerous Conversation: The Patient’s Internal Conflicts Elaborated through the use of Ethnic and Religious Differences between Analyst and Patient” as a backdrop for this meaningful discussion 💻☕️
On this Valentine’s Day, remind yourself to expect better for yourself; to know you deserve a love that is strong, kind , and respectful; and to settle for nothing less
Black History should be remembered , and learnt from , every single day
With all its ups and downs, life is breathtakingly beautiful.
✨♥️ 🌹 😍
“The earth laughs in flowers.”
( Ralph Waldo Emerson )
May this year make our earth laugh with real joy , and may the beauty of its flowers 💐 continue to enchant us : Happy New Year to all !
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