By the River Counseling & Wellness

02/07/2026

If you have experienced relational betrayal, we have trained APSATS counselors available to support you.

APSATS was founded with a clear purpose: to center partner trauma in a world that often overlooked it. At a time when betrayal was commonly treated as a relationship issue or reduced to poor communication, APSATS took a different path. One that honored the real impact of betrayal on the body, mind, and sense of self.

What makes this organization different is not just the training. It’s the lens.

Partners are not treated as collateral damage. Their experiences are named. Their pain is taken seriously. And betrayal is understood as a trauma that fractures safety, identity, and nervous system regulation, not just emotional connection.

One of the most unique parts of APSATS is its commitment to shared learning. When clinically appropriate, partners and professionals are invited into the same educational spaces. Not to blur boundaries, but to deepen understanding. Because when lived experience and clinical insight inform one another, the work gets better for everyone.

This field can be heavy. And at times, it can feel isolating. That’s why community matters. Real, grounded connection is what sustains both the people doing the healing and the people supporting them.

In February 2026, APSATS will host its first-ever in-person national conference. It’s a long-awaited moment to gather, learn, and strengthen a community that is committed to partner-centered, trauma-informed care.

If these values speak to you, whether you are a clinician, coach, partner, or advocate, this space may be one worth being part of.

👉 Click below to learn more about the APSATS conference and how to attend.
https://apsats.org/pages/apsats-conference-2026

01/10/2026

From betrayal to boundaries: Healing means rewriting your rules. Embrace mindfulness, honor your worth—stronger emerges. Tag a friend who needs this!

01/09/2026

Healing from betrayal isn’t linear—it’s a wild ride of ‘why me?’ to ‘watch me rise.’ Start small: Journal one win today. You’re not broken; you’re rebuilding stronger. Who’s on this journey? Drop a 💪 below.

01/08/2026

Quick mindfulness hack: 3 things you see, 3 you hear, 3 you move. Grounded in 30 seconds flat. Who’s trying this today? 🕯️

01/07/2026

Boundaries aren’t walls - they’re gardens for your peace. What’s one boundary you’re setting this week? 🌳

01/03/2026

Hit me with your best therapy meme – if it’s new, you win eternal glory. 🤝😂

03/29/2022

When someone has been betrayed and traumatized their whole world turns upside down. They feel unsafe. Their mind and body often become uncontrollably hyper-vigilant in a non-conscious attempt to avoid further trauma.

The first step towards healing is safety. This includes acknowledging and validating their experiences and fears. Expecting them to “not be triggered” is an unreasonable expectation that keeps them feeling unsafe.

03/23/2022

Couples I work with probably get tired of hearing me say “say more, check in, ask them, talk about what you’re thinking.” I say these things because communication is critically important.

Without good communication we default to making assumptions and can come to conclusions that are both untrue and harmful to the relationship.

However, sharing and asking questions also requires good listening and being present for the one speaking.

Try this: ask your spouse or a friend an open ended question (one that can’t be answered with yes or no) then practice listening.

Be really curious about what they are saying, how they are feeling, and why this matters to them. Paraphrase back what you heard. Now notice how that feels for you and for them. That’s connection.

03/21/2022

Is prioritizing self-care challenging for you? It might be helpful to refocus your self-talk. Does self-care feel selfish? Do you feel guilty? Or does a part of you secretly like playing “the martyr.” (I can relate to this one).

Others are watching and learning, especially your kids. Demonstrating good self-care sets them up for success by teaching them how to care for themselves instead of working until burn-out, and let’s face it, resentment sets in.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel needed, unless it leads you towards burn-out and feeling taken advantage of (a clear sign of resentment). Take a pause, do something your soul loves, and then serve others with joy. It’s a win-win solution.

-C

03/19/2022

Emotional safety is not a relationship “perk.”It’s a baseline, foundational expectation of a healthy relationship. What is Emotional Safety exactly?

1. Difficult emotions (sadness, anger, fear) can be shared safely.

2. Honest feedback can be given and received.

3. Safe to ask for help with complex problems.

4. Feel accepted for being different.

5. Safe to take creative risks.

6. Safe to feel hope and express optimism.

7. Valued for your unique skills & talents.

8. Mistakes are not held against you.

Are you in an emotionally safe relationship with someone? How about with yourself? How can you show up for yourself and others this week in a more emotionally safe way?

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03/18/2022

Your choices and boundaries matter. What you say yes to, what you say no to, both communicate to others what your priorities are.

Are your actions/inactions representing your true self? Are you being true to your goals and priorities? Do you need to make changes or begin enforcing boundaries to move toward authenticity?

The beautiful about boundaries is that by setting them you teach others it is ok for them to have boundaries also. Who around you could benefit from learning this? Your children? Your spouse? Your friends? Family?

They may not like your boundaries at first but it is a powerful lesson and helps you be true to your self.