12/10/2023
Copied and sharing with you all because it’s so relevant in this critical time🙏😢✡️
War - Important operating instructions for the soul.
1. What we are experiencing now is trauma - personal, collective and intergenerational! It's a deadly combination.
2. It is very important to take into account that for most of us - this is the first trauma of this magnitude, even for those who are already accustomed to a security situation, it is a different scale!
3. As such - it creates a rupture in the internal system (this is the essence of trauma) and that is why most of us are now left speechless, unable to comprehend, in paralysis, shock and helplessness.
Trauma behaves like trauma and there is currently no ability to mediate reality to ourselves.
4. Therefore! every manifestation of it, whether it is being flooded by anxiety, engaging in frantic activity or dedication to helping, or whether it is paralyzed seclusion at home, fear and dysfunction – is normal in the midst of the great abnormal.
5. It's time to be extra sensitive and not fall for guilt, judgment about the feelings and thoughts we have, expecting ourselves to be different and making comparisons to other people! The experience is personal.
6. Everyone copes in their own way and to the best of their ability, the responses to trauma are mostly automatic, so compassion and tenderness are needed now.
7. The support protocol for such a comprehensive condition of trauma, shock, paralysis or rage - very similar to the protocol for a broken bone:
To wrap and fix, to take care of a lot of resources and support, to be patient, to be careful.
(In our case, it's already a head-on chain accident...)
8. The situation will take time and therefore it is necessary to measure our forces, especially if we have to be in support of others (soldiers, family, children, patients). That means making sure we're in a maximal state ourselves, as much as possible, in order to give.
9. To do this, it is advisable to make sure that there are resources available and simple - food, rest as much as possible, beneficial circles of belonging, going out into nature as much as possible, gardening work, playing, moving, creating, writing.
10. It is important to create an outlet for what has accumulated on our nerves at the moment - so any expression of crying, anger, fear and the ability of expressing in words to that that has no words is critical. This way we will ensure that the trauma does not stay inside and moves outward.
11. This is the time to take help, there is quite a bit of free help from the professionals and whoever comes to this event from his life on last reserves please do not wait until the cracks appear.
12. There is no one true "should" and there is no single truth. .
Everyone can create for themself a path to recovery and a gradual exit from the shock - some through action and mobilization, some through treatment, some through being in the field and some through sending good energy.
13. Stick to what's good for you. Slowly.
14. In this context, this is not the time to feel "egoistic" because we focus on well-being and the little things! We preserve life. If we are not capable of functioning, we have nothing to give others anyway, self-preservation here is the most effective at the moment for everyone else as well.
15. It will be a long way, evaluate accordingly your powers of coping and organize reality accordingly.
16. Give up non-urgent tasks, if you feel overwhelmed, plan each day in small portions. What suffers delay will wait.
17. On the other hand, even if tidying up the house and paperwork or changing summer-winter keeps you balance now, go for it. These are important trifles that restore some sense of control amid the sea of chaos. Don't underestimate them! This is an important tactic for strengthening.
18. Beware of pathos!
The extremes will now appear everywhere, because that's what trauma and survival produce – a lot of black and white and very little gray. While this is a time for immediate emergency action, it is also a reminder to return to a complex perspective as much as possible.
For example, "the state is gone for us" versus "there are so many good people who help and support and are now present with mutual responsibility."
19. Try to hold both and not just one end, this is a good remedy for survival - the opening for movement and another angle.
20. Use music, comfort food, hugs, a listening ear - preserving infrastructure is critical at this time for continued functioning.
21. Remember that any emotional expression will now be at a high volume, because the charges are very high, so all relationships are very challenged and prone to flooding. This is the time for forgiveness, flexibility and a careful and attentive attitude.
22. The heart is now very injured and will take time to heal. Take care of it, don't impose rigidity where it's not necessary. Where necessary, make a point and return to softness.
23. Pay attention to your media consumption and presence on social media – it is also beneficial, connective, and alleviates anxiety, but it can also be overwhelming and beyond the limit of containment. Pay close attention to what you are exposed to, in what dosage and when. Stay away from what consumes energy, which is already in short supply.
24. Trauma is a field that draws one in and as such we will find ourselves unable to disconnect from the horror. The arousal in the system is very influential and puts one into a loop. It's a closed circle of terror.
Now is the time to return to the simple and supportive actions I mentioned earlier.
25. Say a prayer. It has nothing to do with religion. It's a basic law – the forces of life support us even when the roots are uprooted and everything burns. Return to your roots and pray to the skies. It may take a long recovery time but they will connect. The sound of requests from the heart needs to be heard!
26. Allow despair to be, fear, frustration, jolt. It's a sign that we're human and fragile and it can't be otherwise.
This does not mean that we do not have strength, but it is also permissible to break.
27. Be aware of miracles around you and they are everywhere - brave people, rescue stories, the little ones of everyday life that are not taken for granted, our waking up in the morning, the chirping of a bird, the wind of autumn.
28. Test your own being alone - sometimes it is necessary, to regulate breathing and get away from interaction but sometimes it is seclusion that does not allow support. Be alert to continuous loneliness and ask to lean!
29. Remember to breathe. Mostly blow out to the end!
It greatly regulates the nervous system. In general, lingering for a moment on breathing and a sigh of relief (Polish women knew what was good for them) allows to continue with the day and the load better. It takes less than a minute and there is no overdose.
30. Be good to yourself, pat yourself on the head. It's a great, deep and abysmal sadness. Hold on to some day-to-day horizon. Surround yourself with love.
Alongside the weapons that fire, an envelope of minimal goodness is an equally important weapon.
Share this with everyone who can use it and together, step by step, we will make the journey from trauma to recovery.
