Littlebrowntherapist

07/04/2025

As I lay in savasana the other day, I apologized to you. I told you, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." You came to me, and you told me it was ok. There was an unspoken understanding that I couldn't save you, nor could anyone else.

And still, that big sister part of me will always be sorry.

07/04/2025

While I lay in savasana a few days ago, I apologized to you--I told you, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." You came to me and told me it was ok. There was an unspoken understanding between us that saving you was not in my control, or in anyone's. And still, that big sister part of me will always be sorry.

06/21/2025

"Death does not ask us the time nor the day before striking us down." (Sri Guru Granth Sahib 1244.)

On Saturday, June 14, my baby sister passed away from metastatic angiosarcoma. She was surrounded by her loved ones as she transitioned. And on Wednesday, June 18, we said goodbye to her physical body. Above are some words I shared at her funeral.

I've been grieving since I learned about her diagnosis 2.5 years ago--a cancer that is rare, aggressive, and for which there is no cure. And I grieve, now, for all of us who will not get to see or hear her, for all of us who will miss her so, so much.

My Sikh faith is giving me comfort as I grieve and hold questions for which I have no answers.

Why her? I don't know.
Why this cancer? I don't know.
Why so young? I don't know.
What meaning do we take from this? I don't know.

In my therapy work, I talk often about turning towards and being in this space of "I don't know." It can be highly uncomfortable, and we often fight so hard to get out of this space...and this fight causes more distress and suffering. It also takes us away from caring for our own pain.

Sitting in the I don't know allows me to acknowledge what I do know--which is that there is incredible sadness that my sister is gone and also some happiness that my sister's soul is free.

Or, at least that's how I feel now. Let's see what grief has in store for me tomorrow.

06/02/2025

So thrilled and excited for my dear friend .omar.khan on the release of his beautiful novel ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Book reviews aren't my forte, but all I can say is that I know a book has captured my heart when I'm thinking about the characters during the day, and I look forward to reconnecting with them when I open the book again.

Also, please buy a copy or more than one copy! .omar.khan needs to quit his day job!!

05/23/2025

Came across this in my photos. Not sure where I took this from.

03/09/2025

45.

11/22/2024

Welcome your grief and rage, for they are wise friends with important lessons. Allow yourself to soften into their embrace and let their messages of love and justice carry you.

Thank you .ge for your power and stewardship.

10/27/2024

Alt Text:

A message from an Occupational Therapist in Gaza on World OT Day

رسالة من معالج وظيفي في غزة في اليوم العالمي للعلاج الوظيفي

I send you these words surrounded by the rubble, blood, body parts, starvation, and displacement. I write those words while I am in a rotten tent among all the tents of the displaced in South Gaza.
 
A letter from an Occupational Therapist who has been living in the hell of war for over a year, please translate my words to all the languages of this world.
 
To ALL occupational therapists around the world, you must make this World Occupational Therapy day 2024 a day to help occupational therapists in Gaza. We are dying here, we are attacked, eliminated, ethnically cleansed, and killed.
 
You must say something if only to let us know you still remember us here, where is the WFOT?
Where is the AOTA?
Where are the OT organizations in the world? Or in the Arab world?
 
When the war between Russia and Ukraine began you all had a say, you stood up and denounced war, you had empathy then?
So where is your outrage now? Where is your empathy now?
 
Do we not belong to the Occupational Therapy profession?
Where are you ALL?
 
Will we hear anything from you October 27th? Or the next year?
 
A letter from Mahmoud AlHallaq
Occupational therapist

أرسل لكم كلماتي من بين الركام والدم و الأشلاء والتجويع و النزوح وأكتب هذه الكلمات وانا في خيمتي المهترئة في مخيمات النزوح جنوب القطاع .
رسالة من معالج وظيفي يعيش ويلات الحرب منذ أكثر من عام ، وترجموا كلماتي إلى كل اللغات .
إلى جميع المعالجين الوظيفيين في جميع بقاع الأرض يجيب عليكم أن تجعلوا من اليوم العالمي للعلاج الوظيفي يوم يُغير مسار المعالجين الوظيفين في قطاع غزة .
نحن هنا نقتل ونباد ويمارس معنا التطهير العرقي ، فيجب أن يكون لكم كلمة على الأقل تشعرنا بأنكم لازلتم تذكرونا . أين الإتحاد العالمي للمعالجين الوظيفيين ؟
أين الجمعية الأمريكية للعلاح الوظيفي ؟ اين النقابات في البلدان العربية ؟
في حرب روسيا و اوكرانيا رائيت إستنكارات عديدة و وقفات جيدة وتعاطف كبير ؟
أين أنتم الأن ؟
أم نحن لا ننتمي إليكم ؟
أتمنى أن آرى شيء في 27 أكتوبر المقبل .
محمود الحلاق
معالج وظيفي
مدير فني قسم العلاج الوظيفي في مركز حمد بن جاسم للرعاية التأهيلية المتكا

07/04/2024

Let's not excuse behavior that's hurtful and harmful because it's "cultural." I had to say this a few times in sessions today!!

Psychotherapy| BIPOC mental health month

06/05/2024

I visited Harmandir Sahib (Golden Temple) in 2005. Thousands of people were present. I was awe-struck and also panic-struck. Too many people for me!

On June 4 1984, with thousands of worshippers present, the Indian army stormed and shelled the complex for the next 6 days. The worshippers were 'human shields' for the militants inside.

I was 4 years old. I remember seeing this on the news. My grandparents had just moved from Punjab to Toronto a few months before.

I recall my grandparents and parents watching the news silently. I knew something bad was happening, but no one talked about it.

It's a strange experience -- being a child and knowing that people far away are killing people like you and destroying the most holy place for your people.

I remember hearing about Indira Gandhi's assassination and the Air India bombing.

(We had one TV, lived in a 2 bedroom apartment, and when the adults said it was time for the news, there was no arguing. So I watched a lot of news as a kid.)

I don't remember hearing about the riots, the mercenaries murdering and ra**ng Sikhs, the kidnappings, the missing people that followed after.

I do remember Sikhs being called terrorists, feeling angry that fellow Sikhs orchestrated the Air India bombing, disgusted by machine guns laid next to the Guru Granth Sahib (Holy Book) at a GTA gurdwara, and feeling ashamed of Sikh 'militants' and, by extension, my Sikh identity.

I still have unresolved feelings towards the Khalistan movement and the culture of my religion.

As I reflect on 1984, while holding the pain of Palestine and Sudan and Congo, I notice the parallel reverberations of empire, colonialism, partition, arbitrary borders, displacement, resource control, violence, terror, horror.

I understand the historical trauma and the warrior spirit that led Sikh fighters to use violence to resist, to stand their ground, to believe that violence was the path to safety.

But this violence also finds its way into our homes, and this trauma is called culture.

And so I grieve for 1984, for what came before, and what came after.

05/29/2024

03/21/2024

I had a discussion with a colleague about mandatory reporting today, and it was a really tough talk about ignoring our clinical intuition, being motivated by fear of 'getting in trouble,' and the guidance lacking about navigating in between the binary.