11/06/2021
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Let's be clear: Respectful parenting is NOT permissive parenting.
âPermissive parenting = no rules/structure, indulgent = well, sheer chaosđȘïž
âAuthoritarian parenting: enforces good behavior with threats, shaming, punishment, less parental warmth = an increase in worsening behavior over time + depression later in life
We are OUT with the old school way of parenting: children being seen not heard, blind obedience, listening to authority OR ELSE. This often leads to 1 of 2 outcomes: a child so compliant they grow into a compliant/people pleasing adult who blindly follows orders, someone who pushes their own needs down OR a child who learns to hide mistakes from their parents, someone whose instinct is to hide their feelings, problems, + true selves from loved ones.
The Latin root of the word discipline means "to teach." How do children/people learn best? Well, think back to the worst teacher/boss you've had. On your case ALL day, pointing out EVERYTHING you did wrong. Youâre there to follow the commands + shut your mouth.
Were you motivated? Did you learn/ grow? Nope, you showed up, did bare minimum + couldn't wait to leave.
Now, think of the best teacher/boss you've had. Level headed, calm, CONFIDENT in their leadership. They took charge, but you felt safe knowing they'd lead you in the right direction. They made you feel heard + invested time into you.
So, think of yourself as the calm, confident leader of your home.đĄSomeone who:
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Leads by example, set the tone
Youâre strong + supportive. A boss who leads with confidence, even in times of stress, makes their employees, aka family, feel safe.
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Makes the big decisions
You confidently decide and enforce when itâs time for a nap, whatâs for dinner, and when itâs time to leave the park.
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Collaborates
You choose the big stuff BUT you empower your toddler with age-appropriate power, eg choosing which pair of shoes they want.
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Speaks with calm confidence
Resist the urge to meet chaos with chaos. Let your calm be contagious.