01/19/2026
Developmental neuroscience shows that toddlers’ struggles with sharing are not a reflection of character, but rather the natural timeline of brain development. Children under age four fail to share over 80% of the time because the neural circuits that govern empathy, fairness, and prosocial behavior are still maturing. These circuits typically become functional around age six, when children begin to understand others’ perspectives and regulate their impulses.
Forcing toddlers to share can create stress, resistance, and negative associations with generosity. Experts recommend modeling sharing, narrating acts of kindness, and providing gentle guidance as ways to foster social skills without pressure. Between ages four and six, children gradually develop the ability to voluntarily give, help, and cooperate as the prefrontal cortex and associated social networks activate, supporting moral reasoning and self-control.
Patience and consistent modeling are essential. Celebrating small acts of sharing, offering cooperative play opportunities, and allowing children to experience both giving and receiving in low-pressure contexts help internalize generosity naturally. By understanding that sharing is a learned skill rather than an innate trait, caregivers can support healthy social development, emotional regulation, and harmonious interactions."
