Insightful Minds

Insightful Minds

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There's a big difference between listening to understand and waiting to refute. Everything will go a lot more easily when you do the former. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/202112/3-questions-partners-should-ask-each-other
It's alright to ask to take a break when something happens that's triggering your trauma. Cultivating an awareness of what's happening inside you will allow you to avoid impulsive reactions. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/202201/how-the-triggering-past-traumas-can-upend-current-relationship
People often avoid apologizing when they don't know how or don't think it will work. But there are some traits that comprise a successful apology. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202112/surefire-way-repair-damaged-relationship
When you need help, it's important to be clear about what you want. Some people are better at meeting different needs. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/202112/what-you-can-do-help-yourself-get-more-effective-support
During tough times, it's especially important to remain communicative with your partner. People support each other better when they understand each other's coping mechanisms. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/frazzlebrain/202201/how-strengthen-your-marriage-during-tough-times
It's easier to commit to change when you have external prompts. It's even better when the goals you remind yourself of are highly specific. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202201/3-steps-relationship-reboot
People often drift apart because their past experience hasn't taught them how to sustain a relationship. But once this dynamic is recognized, it can be changed. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202201/10-signs-emotional-neglect-in-your-relationship
When we're feeling bad, we're more likely to presume that other people are also burnt out or acting with hostile intent. But when we learn to observe and counteract the way those feelings affect us, we can also reduce distorted thinking. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/202201/getting-stuck-in-negative-emotions-and-relationship-patterns
People often lie because they think they're sparing their partner's feelings. But honesty is usually the key to deeper affection. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-big-debate-over-little-lies/
Reconnection is something couples need to consciously make time for. It may seem daunting if you're already busy, but if you give it a high priority, you will likely feel more energized for other things. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-busy-couples-guide-to-sharing-fondness-and-admiration/
Betrayals of trust aren't just the big things that push a couple into crisis. They can also be the everyday patterns that normalize resentment. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-matters/202111/small-indiscretions-can-create-big-issues-between-lovers
What do you do when someone else is too stressed to maintain a productive conversation? You may be able to turn down the heat and come back later without bruised feelings. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/202106/5-more-helpful-things-say-calm-down

Providing individual, couples and family counseling. I believe everyone has an inner potential for healing. I work on the holistic principle that our mind, body and energy fields are interconnected.

I am trained in energy psychology (AIT) and Transactional Analysis (TA). As a Transactional Analysis Practitioner, I follow the philosophy of TA:

People are OK. Everyone has the capacity to think
People decide their own destiny, and these decisions CAN be changed. I offer a nonjudgmental and safe environment in which we build our therapeutic relationship, an important element for healing. I fee

Operating as usual

5 Subtle Signs of a Great Relationship 04/26/2022

5 Subtle Signs of a Great Relationship

You have to know your partner well to build a strong relationship. Some things we would appreciate aren't as welcome to someone else, and that's okay. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/202203/5-subtle-signs-great-relationship

5 Subtle Signs of a Great Relationship 3. You know just how to soothe their anxiety.

How to Keep the Magic Alive in Long-Term Relationships 04/22/2022

How to Keep the Magic Alive in Long-Term Relationships

Since people are constantly growing and changing, we're never done getting to know someone else. Maintaining a sense of curiosity about our partners keeps us close. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/202204/how-keep-the-magic-alive-in-long-term-relationships

How to Keep the Magic Alive in Long-Term Relationships Practicing curiosity even when we think we "know" our partner.

How to Have "Healthy" Fights With Your Partner 04/19/2022

How to Have "Healthy" Fights With Your Partner

People will disagree with each other, and that's okay as long as we don't veer into contempt. We can reach more satisfying resolutions by focusing on the emotions that inform a need. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/therapists-education/202203/how-have-healthy-fights-your-partner

How to Have "Healthy" Fights With Your Partner It is not about how often you argue, but how you disagree with each other.

How to Navigate Challenging Issues in Couples Therapy 04/15/2022

How to Navigate Challenging Issues in Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy has a lot of benefits, but it's a specialty with some particular challenges. Specialists can help you navigate what will best serve your goals. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/new-science-love-and-intimacy/202202/how-navigate-challenging-issues-in-couples-therapy

How to Navigate Challenging Issues in Couples Therapy When is therapy the best choice?

Photos from Insightful Minds's post 04/14/2022

Proud to announce my book together with other colleagues about how to treat trauma with Energy Psychology.

How to Handle Feeling Wronged by Your Partner 04/12/2022

How to Handle Feeling Wronged by Your Partner

When you feel hurt and want to repair the relationship, it's best to stick to describing your own experiences and being as honest as possible. Figuring out why something was so upsetting will help you avoid similar ruptures in the future. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/202202/how-handle-feeling-wronged-your-partner

How to Handle Feeling Wronged by Your Partner Finding healthy ways to make sense of the experience and move forward.

Why Romantic Partners Need to Play Fair 04/08/2022

Why Romantic Partners Need to Play Fair

Keeping score in a relationship is a recipe for resentment. But it is important for each person to maintain a high ratio of affection to demands. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-lies-and-conflict/202202/s-not-fair-why-relationships-must-be-equal

Why Romantic Partners Need to Play Fair ... and why it doesn't have to mean keeping score.

10 Ways to Release Regret 04/05/2022

10 Ways to Release Regret

Mistakes are an opportunity to learn, but we aren't getting better from them if we allow them to remove our chance for future peace. Here are some ways to take care of yourself when you think you've made a bad decision. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/202202/10-ways-release-regret

10 Ways to Release Regret How you can work through and release regrets.

How Do You Get That Special Person to Open Up to You? 04/01/2022

How Do You Get That Special Person to Open Up to You?

We have to feel a basic level of safety in order to be open. But when we get comfortable with opening ourselves up, we create an opportunity for a partner to do likewise. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/openings/202202/how-do-you-get-special-person-open-you

How Do You Get That Special Person to Open Up to You? Learn to influence with your mindful openness .

5 Ways to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Love 03/29/2022

5 Ways to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Love

People with insecure attachment styles often have difficulty building trust in romantic relationships. However, this can be mitigated by maintaining open communication and self-awareness. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202202/5-ways-keep-jealousy-destroying-love

5 Ways to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Love How to tame the "green monster."

6 Secrets to Making Love Last 03/25/2022

6 Secrets to Making Love Last

Maintaining a relationship takes work. But the skills you need will become habits if you're practicing them enough. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202202/the-secret-making-love-last

6 Secrets to Making Love Last 1. Staying realistically positive.

How Close Do You Really Need to Get to Your Partner? 03/22/2022

How Close Do You Really Need to Get to Your Partner?

Relationships are often measured in terms of closeness. But what is more important is whether each person feels that their needs are being met. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/202202/how-close-do-you-want-be-your-partner

How Close Do You Really Need to Get to Your Partner? Why partners may struggle to find the "Goldilocks Zone."

5 Lessons from Couples Therapy That Can Help Any Relationship 03/18/2022

5 Lessons from Couples Therapy That Can Help Any Relationship

The skills you learn in couples therapy are what keep any relationship strong. Most of these center on open communication and making time for each other. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-addiction-connection/202201/5-lessons-couples-therapy-can-help-any-relationship

5 Lessons from Couples Therapy That Can Help Any Relationship 3. Schedule important conversations.

Tips to Succeed in Couples Therapy 03/15/2022

Tips to Succeed in Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy is highly successful when partners put effort into what a therapist is telling them. But one of the most common mistakes people make is waiting too long to get started. https://psychcentral.com/health/common-obstacles-in-couples-therapy

Tips to Succeed in Couples Therapy Here are best practices for relationship therapy to avoid obstacles and leverage solutions.

5 Reasons Why You Keep Having the Same Argument 03/11/2022

5 Reasons Why You Keep Having the Same Argument

Do you constantly rehash the same arguments? If you do, there's clearly an underlying issue, but how do you uncover it? It may not be easy, but there are tactics you can learn on both a couples and an individual basis to figure out where communication is breaking down. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202011/5-reasons-why-you-keep-having-the-same-argument

5 Reasons Why You Keep Having the Same Argument An unending argument can undermine a relationship. Here's how to put it to rest.

4 Reasons to View Your Relationship from a New Perspective 03/08/2022

4 Reasons to View Your Relationship from a New Perspective

Empathizing with a partner isn't quite the same thing as understanding their point of view. But both of these skills can be practiced, leading to a stronger relationship. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202101/4-reasons-view-your-relationship-new-perspective

4 Reasons to View Your Relationship from a New Perspective New study shows the value of seeing your relationship from your partner's eyes.

The Best-kept Secret of Love 03/04/2022

The Best-kept Secret of Love

When a couple's relationship is healthy, they won't be reluctant to say when they are upset or disagree with something. http://bit.ly/2P3Ak3L

The Best-kept Secret of Love ...or what to do to have lasting love in your life

How to Talk About Relationship Problems with Your Partner - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog 03/01/2022

How to Talk About Relationship Problems with Your Partner - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog

Emotionally focused therapy is a way of understanding the dynamics underneath particular disagreements. It allows couples to build skills that can be applied to any problem. http://bit.ly/2OCXvFe

How to Talk About Relationship Problems with Your Partner - GoodTherapy.org Therapy Blog Many people avoid conflict in their relationship with their partner, but in the long run, that doesn't help. Here's how to move toward lasting repair.

What are Your Core Beliefs and Needs? (and why it’s important to identify them) 02/25/2022

What are Your Core Beliefs and Needs? (and why it’s important to identify them)

The arguments that become serious sticking points are usually informed by deeper values and experiences. Working through them requires those things to be out in the open. https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-are-your-core-beliefs-and-needs-and-why-its-important-to-identify-them/

What are Your Core Beliefs and Needs? (and why it’s important to identify them) Core beliefs play a big role in conflict management. Get to the heart of the problem by identifying what’s important.

Timeline photos 02/22/2022

Validating your partner doesn't mean you're required to agree with them. But understanding the reasons for somebody's feelings is necessary for solving problems. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/202201/7-tips-argue-constructively-your-partner

3 Questions Partners Should Ask Each Other 02/18/2022

3 Questions Partners Should Ask Each Other

There's a big difference between listening to understand and waiting to refute. Everything will go a lot more easily when you do the former. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/202112/3-questions-partners-should-ask-each-other

3 Questions Partners Should Ask Each Other ... and what to do if the answers are "no."

How a Partner's Past Trauma Can Disrupt a Relationship 02/15/2022

How a Partner's Past Trauma Can Disrupt a Relationship

It's alright to ask to take a break when something happens that's triggering your trauma. Cultivating an awareness of what's happening inside you will allow you to avoid impulsive reactions. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/202201/how-the-triggering-past-traumas-can-upend-current-relationship

How a Partner's Past Trauma Can Disrupt a Relationship 7. Recognize that this partner is different, and ask for what you need.

A Surefire Way to Repair a Damaged Relationship 02/11/2022

A Surefire Way to Repair a Damaged Relationship

People often avoid apologizing when they don't know how or don't think it will work. But there are some traits that comprise a successful apology. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202112/surefire-way-repair-damaged-relationship

A Surefire Way to Repair a Damaged Relationship New research on the empathy-apology connection.

What You Can Do to Help Yourself Get More Effective Support 02/08/2022

What You Can Do to Help Yourself Get More Effective Support

When you need help, it's important to be clear about what you want. Some people are better at meeting different needs. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/202112/what-you-can-do-help-yourself-get-more-effective-support

What You Can Do to Help Yourself Get More Effective Support Receiving support from others is not as simple as it should be.

How to Strengthen Your Marriage During Tough Times 02/04/2022

How to Strengthen Your Marriage During Tough Times

During tough times, it's especially important to remain communicative with your partner. People support each other better when they understand each other's coping mechanisms. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/frazzlebrain/202201/how-strengthen-your-marriage-during-tough-times

How to Strengthen Your Marriage During Tough Times Seek to uplift your partner rather than blame during difficult times.

3 Steps to a Relationship Reboot 02/01/2022

3 Steps to a Relationship Reboot

It's easier to commit to change when you have external prompts. It's even better when the goals you remind yourself of are highly specific. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/202201/3-steps-relationship-reboot

3 Steps to a Relationship Reboot 3. Try a complaining fast.

10 Signs of Emotional Neglect in a Relationship 01/28/2022

10 Signs of Emotional Neglect in a Relationship

People often drift apart because their past experience hasn't taught them how to sustain a relationship. But once this dynamic is recognized, it can be changed. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202201/10-signs-emotional-neglect-in-your-relationship

10 Signs of Emotional Neglect in a Relationship 10. You only feel positive emotions during sex.

Getting Stuck in Negative Emotions and Relationship Patterns 01/25/2022

Getting Stuck in Negative Emotions and Relationship Patterns

When we're feeling bad, we're more likely to presume that other people are also burnt out or acting with hostile intent. But when we learn to observe and counteract the way those feelings affect us, we can also reduce distorted thinking. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/202201/getting-stuck-in-negative-emotions-and-relationship-patterns

Getting Stuck in Negative Emotions and Relationship Patterns You can escape how your brain confirms the worst in other people and situations.

The Big Debate over Little Lies 01/21/2022

The Big Debate over Little Lies

People often lie because they think they're sparing their partner's feelings. But honesty is usually the key to deeper affection. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-big-debate-over-little-lies/

The Big Debate over Little Lies Is lying ever okay? Learn the difference between lies that help and harm and how telling the truth establishes trust.

The Busy Couple’s Guide to Sharing Fondness and Admiration 01/18/2022

The Busy Couple’s Guide to Sharing Fondness and Admiration

Reconnection is something couples need to consciously make time for. It may seem daunting if you're already busy, but if you give it a high priority, you will likely feel more energized for other things. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-busy-couples-guide-to-sharing-fondness-and-admiration/

The Busy Couple’s Guide to Sharing Fondness and Admiration Sharing fondness and admiration for each other as a couple fits into your schedule no matter how busy you are.

Small Indiscretions Can Create Big Issues Between Lovers 01/14/2022

Small Indiscretions Can Create Big Issues Between Lovers

Betrayals of trust aren't just the big things that push a couple into crisis. They can also be the everyday patterns that normalize resentment. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-matters/202111/small-indiscretions-can-create-big-issues-between-lovers

Small Indiscretions Can Create Big Issues Between Lovers Trust is a demanding master.

5 More Helpful Things to Say Than "Calm Down" 01/11/2022

5 More Helpful Things to Say Than "Calm Down"

What do you do when someone else is too stressed to maintain a productive conversation? You may be able to turn down the heat and come back later without bruised feelings. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/202106/5-more-helpful-things-say-calm-down

5 More Helpful Things to Say Than "Calm Down" In times of conflict, here's how to not add fuel to the fire.

You Should Talk About Your Problems More 01/07/2022

You Should Talk About Your Problems More

Talking about your problems out loud can help you get a better handle on them. Even if it's hard at first, you'll get better with practice. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-burden/202110/you-should-talk-about-your-problems-more

You Should Talk About Your Problems More Here are some instructions for self-disclosure.

Why a Partner Might Feel Unsupported 01/04/2022

Why a Partner Might Feel Unsupported

For a relationship to be emotionally supportive, each partner has to feel that they are capable of giving support as well as receiving it. Knowing that you are able to help the people you care about may even make your life less stressful in general. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-resilience/202111/not-enough-emotional-support-your-partner-could-be-why

Why a Partner Might Feel Unsupported ... and how to be more open to both giving and receiving.

In Relationships, Not All Imperfections Are Deal Breakers 12/31/2021

In Relationships, Not All Imperfections Are Deal Breakers

Some traits are never going to go away. We have to be clear with ourselves about what is worth focusing on, and why. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/assembly-required/202112/your-partners-annoying-traits-are-here-stay

In Relationships, Not All Imperfections Are Deal Breakers The case for choosing partners whose faults you can live with

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Another tool from energy therapy
Tools from transactional  analysis to  deal with the current situation
Insightful Minds NC Presentation Video

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