Jarvis Thompson Home for the Mentally Un-Calm

tomorrow

we are all dead here

if you can read this please help

And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.

Pain is the universal leveler. Even the highest king will kneel before it. As such, it cleanses us of our own lies.

Last night one of our patients said that he had been to Hell, and that it was preferable. What do you think?

Any rumors you have heard about Monday's incident are false, and those who spread them will be punished. If you are guilty of this infraction, please contact us to turn yourself in.

NOW HIRING! We have had 6 positions open up in our intensive care unit! Duties include assisting in patient care and cleaning up the remains of the previous ICU staff! Click "book now" for details!

We would like to apologize to the local community for this morning's incident, and any delay in your morning commute that our patients may have caused.

Happy Easter! "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Revelation 21:8

Did you know? Jarvis Thompson was originally founded as a quarantine hospital for those suffering from the Spanish flu. In 1919, all of the patients died and their bodies were burned on a large bonfire to prevent the spread of infection.

It's Sunday, which means it's time for our weekly lobotomies! Sadly all tickets are sold out for this evening's performance, but if you would like to book a ticket for next weeks lobotomy you can hit the book "now button" on our front page!

We love what we do! During this morning's volleyball game, one patient remarked that it was the only time the voices left him alone. Truly, this is the Lord's work!

Great News! Jarvis Thompson was recently announced as one of Mindfulness Monthly's top 5 compassionate care facilities!

It's a lovely day here on the grounds at Jarvis Thompson!

Very happy to announce that the Jarvis Thompson Home for the Mentally Un-Calm has entered the digital age! If you or a loved one are in need of care, you can now contact us directly via Facebook!