Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD—alcoholism, recovery and marriage insights

07/08/2025

Re-posting because it bears sharing again. 🤬

What else have Dr Marry and I been up to: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_lUkv8ujQ7vynBtfPn6dCTI-azbnUREp ​ ​ ​ ...

15/05/2025

He won't be happy that I'm posting these because he doesn't particularly care for either one, but I have to share them because they represent not just surviving addiction but thriving beyond it in the most extraordinary of ways.

Two events from this season at Minnesota State University Moorhead. Two opportunities where Dr Andrew Mazz Marry is shining. Two opportunities where his decision to get and stay sober led to advancements, promotions, leadership and belonging in ways that were never the case before he put the bottles down and invested meaningfully in himself, his professional relationships and his career.

I love both of these photos, mostly because I love the man in them, but also because it's too easy to forget where we were fewer than 10 years ago, in the darkness of addiction, shame and isolation. Mazz being denied promotion more than once; his work life better than his home one, but just barely.

I hope these photos will be a beacon to anyone who is still in that dark hole. Keep going. Keep working. You are worth it. You are worthy of a different kind of life—one that celebrates, supports and engages you. One that lets you live, flourish and soar.

05/04/2025

So, this happened this week.

“Sometimes it takes a village” – yes, it does. Dayna K Del Val, Prairie St. John’s, AA members, friends, family (both the one you are born with and the one you make on the way), and work colleagues. Yes – I stuck with it, and I had help. Think about that. In today’s messy world, people still help each other.

In eight years, two months, and six days of sobriety, I have been promoted twice (yes, I know, the second one is not in effect until August), voted in as department chair for the last three years, and (again in August) will be the Chair of the new School of Science within the College of Science, Health, and the Environment at Minnesota State University Moorhead.

Recovery from addiction needs help and hope. If you read this, pass this on - here is an example of both.

16/03/2025

Do you know the story behind this photo?

This photo, taken about one hour after Dr Marry got home from being gone for 6 weeks: 2 weeks in the hospital, including 6 days in a medically-induced coma, and 4 weeks in in-patient rehab.

The morning this photo was taken, I was reading some book about a woman who gets home from work and her husband is already cooking in the kitchen. As they talk, he reaches for another glass and pours her a glass of red wine while they continue to share their day.

I finished that section and was outraged that that would never again be my life. That I would never again be able to have wine in the house. That Mazz's alcoholism was now spilling over to my life.

I picked him up around 3:30. We got home and it was awkward. Neither of us quite knew what to do or say.

I was kind of stomping around the kitchen when he said, "What's the matter, D?"

After a few, "Nothings," I finally blurted out what I had been thinking about the book and that couple and our new life.

Mazz said, "Put on your shoes."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going across the street to Luna to get you a glass of wine and me a lemonade."

"We CAN'T go to Luna on your first day home from rehab!"

"Look. My bed is still open. If I can't do this, then you'll drive me back to rehab and I'll try again."

We walked into the restaurant, and there were our good friends John and Emily. They happened to be two of the very few people who knew Mazz had been in rehab because they had called to invite us for dinner while he was gone, so I had to tell them.

I was filled with shame to be there. I felt like we had giant spotlights on us the entire time. I was mortified that I had "demanded" this outing. I was terrified that this tenuous sobriety wouldn't stick. I was embarrassed to be with an alcoholic if I'm brutally honest. I was afraid I had a drinking problem that my first thought after picking my husband up from rehab was "I want a glass of wine."

Mazz, on the other hand, was cool and calm as a cucumber.

We said a brief hello and went to sit somewhere else. I was jumpy and so nervous, climbing out of my skin.

I ordered a glass of wine; Mazz ordered a San Pelligrino. Nobody questioned us. Nobody thought anything was out of the ordinary.

Another woman we all knew saw us and said, "Let me take a photo of you four fabulous people."

I don't know why she took that photo—I remember thinking it was kind of odd in the moment. But today, eight years later, I'm so grateful to have this reminder that this was our true Day 1. This was the first step.

Mazz soared, and I grew to stop fearing and resenting and bemoaning and instead found unaccountable gratitude for the journey this amazing man took and invited me along on. The glorious journey we continue to take. 💗

14/03/2025

I brought Dr Mary to Kaua’i to celebrate his recent 55th birthday. One of his favorite things to do, in a long list of favorite things to do in Hawaii, is find as many NA pina coladas as possible. He’s never (yet) met one he didn’t like.

This trip gave us many excellent options as well as other NA cocktails that just make the setting sun, the tropical beaches and the general vibe of Hawaii even better.

02/02/2025

Happiness is waking up early the morning after a big celebration of eight years of sobriety to a clean kitchen with just a few remnants of the festivities, including this little 8️⃣ candle to make you smile at the memory of the glorious years gone by and the anticipation of all that is yet to come. 💝

02/02/2025

What does eight years of sobriety look like?

It looks like a big party with tan food, including shepherd's pie and roasted root vegetables, multiple non-alcoholic cocktails, homemade cheesecake and incredible friends who've been on this journey with us almost from the beginning.

Dr Marry, there aren't really words, despite the thousands I've already written about this journey with alcohol and recovery we've been on, to express my gratitude that you decided both you and I were worth investing in when you said no to alcohol and yes to us.

Thank you thank you. 💖

30/01/2025

HOLY MOLY—this conversation is SO IMPORTANT, SO INTERESTING and SO RELEVANT to everyone!!

Do you struggle with substance issues? Know someone who does? Then this podcast conversation with Dr. Adi Jaffe is for you.

And if you are the one of about 6 people on the planet who can's say yes to one of those two questions, listen anyway because, believe me, if you don't know someone now, you will some day, and you'll be so grateful to have this in your back pocket.

Listen and let us know what you think. What stood out for you? What "bent your brain," to quote Dayna? 🤯

09/01/2025

Dr Marry and I enjoyed a packed NA tasting at Bernie’s Wines and Liquor last night. We loved that so many people were interested in tasting these products, and we loved that there were so many samples to try!

We came home with some new products, and that's super exciting!

08/01/2025

Hello and happy new year!

This is Dayna, and I'm launching a new podcast on Sunday called Brave Middle Ground: Fostering conversations that spark understanding and bridge divides.

This was born out of my frustration at the November election, among other challenges, and the ways we are isolated and lacking in community.

To be the first to hear the inaugural conversation, sign up for my newsletter at daynadelval.com/newsletter.


But you can watch clips of the first 4 conversations right here.

I think the second one will be particularly interesting for our Daily Dose audience as it's with Dr. Adi Jaffe, founder of IGNTD recovery and author of the brand new book, Unhooked, Free Yourself from Addiction Forever.

I hope you'll sign up for my newsletter, tune in to the conversations and share your thoughts. Community is only built when we engage with each other.









https://daynadelval.com/brave-middle-ground-podcast/

Launching January 12, 2025 Mission: Fostering conversations that bridge isolation and build meaningful community in an increasingly polarized world. Key Values: Empathy: Sharing emotionally resonant stories that inspire broader perspectives Curiosity: Exploring social challenges through a variety of...

30/10/2024

Proud to join Dr Marty at Recovery Reinvented North Dakota’s 8th conference.