Dandelions Talk

10/09/2024

September is the month when we say ‘Embrace Life’ to remind people that, despite all the ups and downs, life is valuable and we matter more than we know.

In times when people are drowning in darkness and feel totally defeated , there are two ways to bring them to shore safely.

One is to tell them how they can navigate dark currents and the other is to extend a kind helping hand. Two posts I read recently stayed with me in terms of what they communicate around these themes.

The first one is about Riptides by Sahil Bloom. He says:

A riptide is a strong ocean current that flows directly away from the shore. A swimmer caught in a riptide is pulled out into the open water. The obvious instinct is to fight the current, but it's entirely wrong. Even the best swimmers are unable to fight against that current.

The recommended course of action is to relax and let it take you out into the open water. You conserve energy by not fighting the riptide, but once the current dissipates, use your energy to return to shore once outside its grasp.

At certain times in your life, there are going to be subtle, hidden, internal and external forces conspiring against you. In these moments, your instincts will tell you to fight back and you'll breathe faster, push harder, and strain against them at no avail.

You may be caught in a dark riptide; and as you now know, the best course of action is the opposite of what your immediate instincts tell you. In these moments, when you feel the current is too strong to resist, allow it wash over you. Once it inevitably dissipates, you will have the energy and fortitude to safely navigate to your destination.

So remember, when everything seems against you and you feel trapped and defeated, just let that moment pass.

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The second story is from my friend Ninad Vengurlekar who shares a personal anecdote. He narrates:

I go to buy ladi pav (a Mumbai variety of bread) at a small bakery in Bandra. The pav are freshly made and soft. I compliment the bakery guy, who thanks me with a smile. Along with the pav, I also order 4 packs of Amul Lassi. An old lady, maybe around 70 years old was standing next to me listening to our conversation.

“How is Amul Lassi?” she asked……“Its very good Ma’am. You should try it.” I said….“Thanks. I think I will buy it soon. The pav is very good no?”…….“It is. I think today it is unusually soft.” I replied.

As we talk, it starts to drizzle outside. I have 2 carry bags in my hand. So I decide to wait for the rain to subside.

“Where do you stay son?”……..“Quite close by, about 200 m from here” I said…..“You will get wet going back home. Here, take this umbrella” she offered…..“No Ma’am. It’s a light drizzle, I will reach home quickly.”…..“Ok son. Take care. Don’t get wet. Bye.”

I didn’t know what to say to the lady. I was stumped by her kindness. I didn’t know how to react because what she said was completely illogical in the modern world.

As she started to slowly walk away from me, my mind was doing calculations…What if I had taken her umbrella? How would I have returned it? Why would she offer her umbrella to me and get wet herself? How can someone trust a stranger in Mumbai? What’s wrong with her?

Then it dawned on me that what she indulged in was a random act of kindness which doesn’t need complicated calculations. She knows that it pays back one way or another. By offering her umbrella to a stranger, she has put the onus on me to pay it forward.

This is the thing about kindness. It creates a ripple effect by encouraging others to be kind. It leads to increased feelings of happiness and contentment to the giver and the receiver, thereby creating a more compassionate society.

The true value of kindness transcends all logic and intelligence. Yet, it is the most powerful change agent in the world. It also saves lives.

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September 10th is globally recognized as World Su***de Prevention Day

EMBRACE LIFE | REACH OUT

When the going gets tough, watch for these signs.

Lack of purpose, withdrawal, sudden mood changes, increased drug or alcohol use, putting affairs in order, giving away possessions, feeling hopeless, helpless, or desperate, talking about self-harm.

If you notice any of these signs in yourself, your family or your colleagues, reach out to them and extend and kindness or helping hand.

25/04/2023

"As we awaken to the power of choice, we become the masters of our story."

A guru was imparting a lesson to his disciples. He said:

“A coconut tree and a banyan tree stood next to each other. They were both quite young and excited about what the world had to offer.

After a few years, the Coconut tree had grown rapidly. It was tall and graceful and swayed in the wind with its palm leaves swishing. Its roots, while not deep were spread in a fanned out lattice which gave it fair amount of stability. Its trunk was lean and flexible and could withstand the ravages of strong winds which blew up from the sea. It started to bear fruit too and people around it thanked it for all that it provided. They were able to eat its fruit, use its husk and fallen leaves for shelter and fuel. It was a very admired and appreciated tree.

The Banyan tree also grew, but its growth was different. It grew to a good height but after that it stopped growing much vertically. On the other hand, its trunk grew more solid and its roots grew deeper in the soil making it almost impossible to uproot in any storm. It also started to spread laterally and produce aerial roots which then grew into more trees and over time the tree grew into a small forest with companion trees, birds and animals which made their home in its thicket and ate its figs. People came and sat in its shade and marveled at its wisdom. They started to worship the tree for its qualities of solidity, quiet strength and wisdom.

As more time passed, the Coconut tree reached its optimal height and after that it could grow no further. And since it did not have the ability to grow in any other way, it started stagnate and finally to decline.

The Banyan tree in the meantime continued to grow and flourish. There seemed no limit to its growth.”

The guru turned to his disciples and asked, “Which tree would you like to be like.”

Some disciples said they would like the exhilaration of the dizzying heights of growth that the Coconut tree had, and some said they would like to be solid and revered like the Banyan.

The guru then said, “But you forget, we are not trees, we are humans”. The trees don’t have a choice in how they want to be, but as humans we can take inspiration from both and then grow and live as we choose. We can choose to have times in our lives when we are like the Coconut and then times when we are like the Banyan. That’s the beauty and power of being a human being. We have the power to choose.”

Leaving you with this thought. How would you choose to define your life and growth path?

16/01/2023

Running is the greatest metaphor for life; because you get out if it what you put into it- Oprah Winfrey


Yesterday, the whole city was awash with the energy and buzz of the Tata Mumbai Marathon. Whether you participated in the Full, Half Marathon or the 10K or the Dream Walk, or watched from the side-lines or through pictures on social media, there is no denying the exhilaration, joy and achievement from the run.

It makes one wonder, what makes people participate in these events.

Ramesh Sathe says, “Crossing that finish line makes me feel like a super hero. The sense of personal achievement is unparalleled”.

Tom Eller, a deaf born marathoner and a teacher to deaf and blind students says he runs marathons to show people that disabled people can achieve great things. “And for my deaf kids at school, I am a role model.”

Sameer and Suhasini run to raise funds and awareness for cancer, as they lost their 5 year old to the dreaded disease.

Sumit Anand said, “I have schizophrenia and running in the marathon makes me feel like I am one with other people, no different. Makes me feel like I belong.”

Sudarshan Tamang in the marathon yesterday said he was running to raise awareness for a 9 year old Sikkimese contestant of Sa-Re-Ga-Ma on tv to help her get more votes and win.

72 year old Suma Patil and her group of septuagenarians run for the togetherness and friendship.

R Laxmi runs for herself and also to support a friend who needs a pacer.

Almost everyone who participates, does it to find significance, to affirm something, to help and support someone else too, for a higher purpose.

Its not as if all these people don’t show all those qualities in their regular lives. But the event is the symbol, the validation of their hope, resilience, perseverance, of achievement. And, after the race is done, along with the feeling of pride and achievement which comes from within, the runners line up for that ribbon, medal, certificate. A recognition of their achievement.

As it is in the marathon, so it is often in life. We all need to validate who we are, have something to show for when we have done something. Along with the sense of personal achievement, that medal, that hurrah, that applause counts too. To challenge oneself, to surmount, to break our own boundaries and to have the world celebrate that with us. To also find joy in supporting someone else or have that support given to us.

Here’s to life (our biggest marathon). May we all run a good one, challenge our personal best at many turns and get to celebrate the wins and have someone be there to run silently with us when we need that pacer or run to bring us the votes that will help us win.

After all, what we put into it is what we get out of it.

29/10/2022

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10209234311650847&id=1713037233

19/08/2022

Mental health is one of the biggest concerns in our world today and we need to create more awareness about it to help people know how to deal with their own mental health issues and also accept and help others around them. As a qualified Integrative Counselling Therapist and with my experience of working in this field for a number of years, I wanted to use my knowledge and expertise to contribute to society and found the right platform for this community work through the Rotary E-Club of Empowering Youth.

We have launched PROJECT MINDSTRONG with the aim of Empowering Youth with Positive Mental Health. Through this initiative we have self development sessions by teaching strategies to develop and maintain own good mental health and emotional well-being. And we also have our SATHI program to build community support by teaching Youth Volunteers about Emotional Health First Aid so that they can help others.

The attached media coverage is of the first Sathi program conducted at CSRD in Ahmednagar where we trained 60 MSW students as SATHIs.

The aim of sharing this information here is to inform you all that through this Rotary initiative, we would be happy to conduct these sessions for students in senior schools and in colleges, and for young people in various organisations and communities. If you can facilitate a connect with such institutions or organisations where we can conduct these programs please do get in touch with me. Together we can make a difference. Thanks.

17/08/2022

Happiness is a choice. This and more - delighted to have shared my thoughts on the Freedom to be Happy Podcast with Sukriti. Do listen in and share and also let me know if any of the sharings resonate with you.

Google Podcasts: https://bit.ly/3scAifw

Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3KCagZC

Apple: https://apple.co/3LLsFo6

Amazon Music: https://amzn.to/3s8uLXC

JioSaavn: https://bit.ly/3OV1NUO

Gaana: https://bit.ly/3OVNH5o

Sochcast: https://bit.ly/3NiLWNE

Freedom to be Happy Podcast by Happyness.me aims to highlight the humanistic side of Human Resources professionals. We speak to the ‘people’ who lead people practices across organizations, learn about the great work that they do, and most importantly celebrate it. In the new normal, the HR funct...

19/10/2021

How diseases are born...

-Silence your tears
-Swallow "the bitter pill"
-Shut your mouth!
-Silence your heart

But the body speaks, oh does it speak!

It speaks through the fingers, tapping on the table surface!
It speaks through restless feet in bed!
It speaks through a nasty headache
It speaks through gastritis, reflux, and anxiety
It speaks through a knot on your throat
It speaks through anguish and a wrinkle on the forehead.
It speaks through insomnia or too much sleeping.

You might silence your voice, but the inner dialogue begins!

People get ill because they harbor and keep undigested issues in their hearts...

Expression soothes the soul!

Pain isn't meant to be lived forever!
Pain is a comma!

So write a letter, a poem, a book! Sing a song.
Pick up your shoes and tap dance!
Make a joke, create a text, paint a canvas, meet with your friends, even if it has to be virtual...
Jog in the park.

Speak with your therapist, converse with God... Be an Artist!

Talk to yourself, to your puppy, scream to the Heavens,

BUT DON'T BE SILENCED!!!

Because if you swallow everything that you feel, you will end up drowning!

THE HEART IS NOT A WAREHOUSE! ❤

And the body speaks!
-Author Unknown

11/10/2021

Sometimes all it takes to help someone is a small reminder that we are all fallible and dont need to be strong and even happy all the time. Its OK to not be OK. A reminder and permission to allow for the space to be down, to take time out. To just be, with no plans, no agendas, no goals to meet and conquer. This much used message is sometimes all we need to tell someone. And sometimes when no one else is saying it to us, tell ourselves the same.


16/09/2021

How people behave with people that have less power than them or those who don't really matter in the permanent spheres of life really show their level of empathy and authenticity. While you can see other people's behaviours in such situation and understand their secret inner selves, do also watch yourself in these situations. Could be quite a surprising lesson about your own self too.

02/09/2021