James Oliver Coaching (2025)

27/03/2023

If we look hard enough, we will find suffering in those who cause great harm to others.

As I have learned to explore and understand my own pain, I’ve found that I naturally seek to understand the attitudes and behaviours of others through the same lens.

Often, we lose compassion for those who hurt others - there seems to be a line that, once someone crosses it, we no longer sympathise or seek to understand them. This, in my opinion, is the biggest problem with the suffering we face as humans.

Of course, sympathising and having compassion for someone doesn’t mean we agree with their actions, or don’t believe in facing consequences for them, but holding on to compassion at all times means we stay connected to each other, through recognising suffering and pain as part of our humanity.

13/03/2023

Loneliness is an opportunity to listen.

Which parts of you are feeling disconnected? What are they asking for? How can we make them feel safe enough to truly communicate with us?

06/03/2023

Childhood Shame/Secrets 🤫

For this week, I asked you to recall your earliest memories of keeping secrets, hiding things or lying from childhood.

These were your responses, a big thank you to those of you who shared 🤍🙏🏻

As you read these, pay attention to the feelings that arise within you that resemble sympathy - whilst, as adults, these may seem trivial or even slightly humorous, behind each one is a story of a child feeling unsafe to share something that happened within their lives.

That lack of safety leads to a disconnection, a fear within us that something about us is either wrong, broken or unlovable, and so we learn to hide, rather than explore that part of us with compassion and non-judgment.

A big part of re-parenting ourselves involves exploring these moments from our childhood and asking what our child-self needed in that moment instead of the fear/shame that they internalised.

By speaking directly to this version of our child-self and giving them the safety and reassurance they need, we can begin to release the shame that affected us deeply then, and may still be affecting us now.

What would your child-self need in moments like these?

Drop a 🤍 if you’re doing the work to reparent yourself 🤍

05/03/2023

Sunday Pondering 💭

02/03/2023

Any part of us that we feel shame, embarrassment, dislike or discomfort over is desperate for you to see its true origin and it’s true intention.

Whether it’s perfectionism, arrogance, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, procrastination or any other character ‘flaw’, that part of you always has an intention of protecting you, or trying to help you receive the love you (and we all) need.

It originated from nothing more than someone else’s pain, in a moment where they projected it on to you.

It’s not your fault. It’s trying to keep your safe.

Drop a ❤️ if you’re doing the work to love these parts of yourself!

01/03/2023

📸 Feb Roundup

28/02/2023

Relationships, like most things in life, aren’t permanent. They are unpredictable, shape-shifting and ultimately help us to grow and transform.

Rather than holding onto the notion of ‘forever’, let us build a sense of acceptance and gratitude for the growth and lessons to be found in the endings of things no longer meant for us.

Drop a 🤍 if this resonates with you

27/02/2023

🗣️ MENS WORKSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT

Men, join and I next Tuesday at 7pm, as we explore how to stop being the ‘nice guy’ and step into your authenticity, truth and power 🔥

This is for all the men who struggle with feeling disempowered in their lives, relationships or careers and want to connect with their inner power and truth 🙏🏻💥

Comment ‘I’M IN’ if you’re joining us!

24/02/2023

🥊 A compassionate gut punch for you on a Friday morning (sorry not sorry 😅)

18/02/2023

No matter how much therapy, breathwork, EFT, psychedelics or {enter any healing modality here} you do, nothing will bring your wounds and trauma to the surface the way a relationship will 😅

Relationships bring us face to face with all of the ways our needs weren’t met during our upbringing.

Often, we unconsciously expect our partner to meet those needs, which can lead to frustration, tension and ultimately, disconnection when they fail to do so.

Many relationships breakdown at the point where one or both persons wounds come up and there is a lack of safety, ability or desire (or any/all of the above) to work through the problem. This can lead to patterns forming within subsequent relationships - lasting for a similar amount of time, the same reasons for breaking up etc.

Drop a 🔥 below if this lands for you, and don’t forget to save as a resource for later ⬇️

15/02/2023

“I AM ____ ✍️”

We have the power of choosing our identity - we have the ability to choose how we see ourselves, which informs the way we live our lives.

We can choose to identify a victim of our circumstance, or we can choose to identify as a person who overcame the challenges of that circumstance.

An important caveat: This isn’t to shame anyone who struggles with their inner-critic, negative self-talk or low self-worth, or anyone who has suffered abuse or trauma; it’s to remind you that those voices that label you or criticise you weren’t always there. With intention, patience and compassion, we can all find our way back to our authentic selves. Healing is possible 🤍

We have the power to choose who we are.

Who are YOU? I’d love to hear from you below - “I AM _____” 🔥⬇️

13/02/2023

Challenges within parent (caregiver)/child relationships are often some of the hardest to overcome.

This can be due to the struggle of breaking certain power-dynamics, which have been learned unconsciously throughout the duration of that relationship.

This is particularly hard for two reasons;

1. The child has never known any differently, so cannot step out of the relationship and view it objectively.

2. The parent may not consciously aware of the wounds they carry and have unintentionally passed on to their child.

Huge resistance can arise when a child (even in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s) realises they need to speak up or challenge something about their relationship with their parent or caregiver.

However, breaking away from unhealthy relationship dynamics with our parents can be one of the most important parts of our own healing journeys.

Which of these did you need to hear the most? Comment below, and don’t forget to save for later 🤍🙏🏻

08/02/2023

👥 An Introduction To Shadow Work

Shadow Work is the conscious practice of exploring and healing the parts of ourselves that we feel are ‘bad’, are embarrassed of or feel shame for.

These parts, due to being hidden, remain in our unconscious, neglected and unattended to.

Our avoidance and neglect of these parts lead to them showing up and affecting our day-to-day lives, relationships, self-image in ways we struggle to overcome.

The term ‘shadow’ suggest that these parts are somehow out ‘darkness’ - bringing them into the light to be examined, loved, accepted and integrated can be challenging work.

The end result, however, is a powerful feeling over radical growth, healing and self-acceptance.

Have you ever explored your shadow through shadow work? Comment below ⬇️

Don’t forget to save and share with those who might need to see this post!

27/01/2023

Swipe to see the face of an overjoyed man 🙃

Runners diarrhoea aside (apparently an actual thing that’s common for long distance runners 💩), I’m extremely proud of this run.

Signing up for a marathon a few months ago was as much of a mental test as it was a physical one; over the last few years I had been telling myself a number of self-limiting stories about ‘getting older’ and my body ‘not being what it used to be in my early 20’s’, particularly around running/fitness and my performance in the gym 👴🏻🏋🏻

Whilst that may be the case, a couple of months into my training plan 🏃‍♂️ and I’m nearly back to the fitness levels I had a decade ago (whilst being a fair bit heavier than I was then too).

A little reminder to keep an eye on the stories you tell yourself that stop you from trying.

We often talk ourselves out of trying things as a way of keeping ourselves safe - safe from the feelings that come with failing or not living up to an expectation we have in our heads.

‘See? What’s the point? You’re nowhere near as fast as you used to be, this is s***.’ - what my inner-critic said when I started my training in December.

Witness that voice, get curious, and challenge it wherever you can. Future you will be very different if you do 🙏🏻

20/01/2023

🧘‍♂️🧠🤫

02/01/2023

7pm UK time, link in bio to sign up, men.

If you don’t identify as a man, but feel that a partner or friend would benefit from this workshop, you can purchase it and they will be granted access via replay 🙏🏻🤍

28/12/2022

FOUNDATIONS OF BROTHERHOOD WORKSHOP

For any and all men, come and join and I on January 3rd for this 90 minute workshop, as we look into how men can create deeper, more authentic connections and friendships with other men.

Cost - £19 - link is in bio and on our stories

We will also be launching our new mens community in January - give the page a follow for the latest updates and workshops taking place there, as we seek to build a community of grounded, supported, powerful men in this world.

This is for any man who feels he is looking for more in this world.

More from himself,

More from his fellow men,

More Love,

more Life,

more Accountability,

more Responsibility,

more Healing,

more Power.

“The time of the lone Wolf is over…”

James Oliver Coaching