Ah, birth. Such a transformative experience.
Birth. Labor does not just birth a baby.
It also births mothers, fathers, siblings, and new family dynamics.
Ever since finding out I was pregnant with my first child, I became fascinated with birth. The process of growing a human and bringing new life into the world consumed me. As any newly expecting parent, I was filled with questions... How is this going to happen? What is my body going to do? What can I do to make sure I deliver safely? How can I prevent unnecessary medical interventions? How can I manage the pain? Will my support team know how to support me?
The only way I knew my mind would settle would be to educate myself on all these things. It started with the documentary The Business of Being Born, followed by a mountain of books. From the more obvious choices of What to Expect, to the recollections of the nation’s leading midwife in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, I was surprised by the amount of knowledge I did not know regarding pregnancy and childbirth. I was even more surprised to learn what was considered normal care and management of pregnancy. I didn’t trust that my mind alone would be enough and so I sought out a doula. I figured that my husband and I were doing all these things to be prepared, but just in case, I wanted someone else who was knowledgeable and whose sole purpose was to make sure my wishes were respected and supported. I wanted back-up. More importantly, she was going to be there to support my husband [ in supporting me ] so we could share the birth of our child more intimately.
As my pregnancy progressed, I took several different childbirth education classes. Although I desired an unmedicated birth, I still attended hospital courses and studied up on medical management [ just in case ]. I wanted to have information from all aspects, and I wanted to be prepared for anything.
I felt prepared. And I was as ready as I was going to be.
But birth is unpredictable.
When my water broke at 36 weeks and 3 days, I was filled with a range of emotions. From excitement and giddiness to worry of the unknown. It wasn’t time. I wasn’t worried about me, or my unborn baby, I was worried that going in “preterm” was going to affect my experience. Eleven and a half hours later I delivered our son into his father’s waiting hands.
Did I achieve the unmedicated birth I desired? Yes! It was magical, really. Did it happen exactly as I thought it would? No, not at all. I had prepared to go past my due date, because that was normal for first time moms. I was prepared for a 24 hour labor, because that was normal for first time moms. I was prepared for confrontation and push back of my birth plan, but with my husband and doula on the same page, I felt empowered and safe. Did I feel prepared and supported either way? Yes, thanks to my husband (who played an active role in preparation), my doulas [yes, I worked with TWO lovely ladies], and childbirth education classes. Reflecting back, there were a couple of things that went better than I had hoped for, and of course few thing I would do differently. Since we can’t change the past, we learn from it; know better, do better.
After delivering my son, I vividly remember telling my doula at our postpartum visit that I couldn’t wait to experience birth again! I also swore I wouldn’t birth without a doula. It never hurts to have an educated mind in your corner there to safely support and facilitate your wishes. My learning didn’t stop there just because our son was born though, the focus just shifted to the benefits of breastfeeding and how could I continue nursing for as long as we desired. We made it to 20 months, when I became pregnant with our second child.
Prepping for birth a second time made me realize there was still so much to learn. At 37 weeks I began having prodromal labor nightly. My doula and I were keeping in touch often and I was prepared for delivering early considering my first birth. But night after night, contractions would fade away after a few hours. The night before 38 weeks, I finally slept decently and woke up in labor. Things progressed quickly in a matter of 60-90 minutes that morning. Passing red lights, driving on the shoulder, and dodging 8am Monday traffic in the city of New Orleans is not where you want to be during transition! I was 9 1/2 cm when we reached the hospital and was beginning to push [ on all fours on the bed ] as they wheeled me down the hall. She was born moments later. Our doula barely made it!
Reflecting back, this made me realize the importance of all the front-loading work doulas do during pregnancy. Prenatal meetings, texts, and phone calls all set the stage for the laboring person to take charge of their birth, knowing their doula has prepared them well. I was prepared. And I rocked that fast and furious birth.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve been lucky enough to have had others reach out to me to share my birthing experiences. I was privileged to share knowledge that helped empower these women who then utilized the information they needed to take charge of their own births. Building these women up to feel prepared and confident through this life changing experience of birth has been a true joy.
Birth can be scary.
But knowledge & preparation can help you experience an empowering & joyful birth.
What began as a personal passion, is now blooming into a business dedicated to helping women and families birth their way.
