Schema Therapy For Life

09/06/2024

For those of you who don't know, we have a Schema Therapy podcast that has been running now for a few years.
We have 92 episodes, in the latest one we go back to basics and discuss "What is a Schema?", hope you enjoy.
Just search The Good Mood Clinic Podcast.

A Psychology and Schema Therapy Podcast by Drs Justine Corry and Gemma Gladstone from the Good Mood Clinic in Sydney, Australia. In this podcast, two clinical psychologists take an in-depth look at the common issues their clients bring to therapy and offer listeners new ways to think about their own...

04/06/2024

The other day I was having a session with a client who was sharing her difficulty around coping with schema triggers and noticing some painful feelings surfacing after certain interactions with her parents, where she didn't feel seen or heard.

We had recently started to do some experiential work and she had made some great 'progress' in starting to feel real compassion and care towards her VC parts.

Here are some of the ideas we discussed and some suggestions I shared with her. I'll call her Sarah (not her real name)

1. When you notice a painful feeling arising, think about this as Little Sarah wanting to get your comfort and attention. See the feeling (eg, sadness, grief, fear) AS Little Sarah letting you know that she doesn't want to be forgotten and that she doesn't want to be alone with her feelings anymore. Experience the feeling you have as "little Sarah".

2. Notice where the feeling is in your body and place you hand over it. Lean into the feeling with kindness and softness (for extra comfort you could use a small pillow or even a heat pack).

3. Then, respond my letting little Sarah know you are there for her. See if you can be aware of 2 parts of yourself at the same time (ie, Little Sarah and the part of you who has the strength and the capacity to care for her) [this required of course further explanation and guidance from me in the actual session].

4. Then, if these sound okay for you, says these phrases either aloud or internally - to the feeling [in your chest, which is Little Sarah]. These phases or part thereof can be said as a mantra and repeated several times.

I see you, I know you are here
I love you
I’m here for you, always
I’m sorry I haven’t seen you/heard you before [This part is optional, to say if this feels relevant, often it is as clients have typically pushed this VC away or rejected her in some way]
You’re with me now
I’ll never let you go / I won’t abandon you
It’s okay to feel [whatever the emotion is, eg, sad], we can feel it together and it will pass
You are precious to me ..........continue from beginning

I find that this exercise can be very healing and help people to realise that triggered feelings rarely just appear out of the blue and that they are not “going crazy”. Their feelings are not pathological or even part of a ‘disorder’, they are [although painful] simply a response to unmet/violated core human needs and a signal from their younger selves who were often left alone with big feelings or stuck in an unbearable situation. The more they can respond, care for and soothe the feelings (as though they are the little/younger parts of them), the stronger the connection will grow, the more self-compassion they will develop and the more integrated they will feel. The key message to little you is "you are not alone; I am with you, I won't leave you alone, I love you".

Of course there’s a time and place for these types of exercises and ‘homework’ suggestions and a client’s capacity to do this will depend on a number of factors.

I hope this helps and you find the opportunity to practice this yourself

Dr Gemma Gladstone

10/04/2024

If you have been thinking about joining our Schema Circle coaching membership program but not quite sure, it's time to put your name on the waitlist because you've only got ONE MORE DAY! 👉👉👉https://www.theredflagproject.com/sc

🌞One of the reasons Justine and I created the Schema Circle is because there is so much useful and life changing information we want to convey to our our 1:1 clients but never seem to have enough time to do it!!

🌞So we put everything we think you need to know inside The Schema Circle so it can be a one stop shop when it comes to getting the knowledge and guidance you need to maximise the change you're looking for!

👉We created The Schema Circle, our online membership to bring the clarity and wisdom of Schema Therapy to more people. All of the coaching calls, deep-dive masterclasses and course material are based on Schema Therapy.

✨ The Schema Circle can help anyone who wants to know more about their schemas and heal them.

✨The doors to the Schema Circle ⭕️ is opening in 1 day 💃 And the VIP waitlist is where you want to be!

✨ By joining the waitlist you get 25% off the full price of the membership plus a chance to win a free membership and 1:1 coaching consult.

Hope to see you inside,

Dr GG & Dr JC😊

18/03/2024

Hi Everyone,

wanting to let you know that our Schema online membership – The Schema Circle, will be opening it’s doors again soon for new members, so if interested please click the link to find out more and put your name down on the waitlist. https://www.theredflagproject.com/sc

👉If you’re on the waitlist you’ll be sent further information and a special offer.

⭕If you love schema therapy and are interested in fostering yours and your clients’ development then follow the link to find out more 👉 https://www.theredflagproject.com/sc

💖The Schema Circle is a passion project, there is a wealth of resources inside, including deep-dive master classes, loads of recorded Q&As, ongoing 3x monthly live group coaching calls and course materials from our Know Your Schema online course.

⏲️Please message me for any queries

⭕The membership is suitable for those receiving their own schema therapy as it’s a great accompaniment to one’s own schema journey.

💖Similarly for therapists, it’s a dynamic resource to support your ongoing work with clients.

We’d love to have you join us.

Gemma x

07/10/2023

An abandonment schema is one of the most painful schemas you can have - when it is triggered you can feel very alone in the world and feel hopeless about finding connection. Healing your abandonment schema will dramatically change your life's direction. To find out more, listen to our podcast - link in the bio. In our podcast, we talk all about schema healing and change. Dr JC and Dr GG

06/10/2023

We all hate being misunderstood or unfairly blamed for something we feel isn't true - but if you have an emotional deprivation schema being misunderstood can be intolerable.

Sometimes the other person genuinely thinks they are right and isn't willing to entertain your perspective.

At other times being misunderstood is actually gaslighting.

When your emotional deprivation schema is are triggered by the other person not understanding or validating what you are saying you may get angry, argumentative and rigid.

You may have an urge to keep talking - trying to convince, control, dominate the narrative. You lose your ability to be curious. You may notice your voice get louder and louder.

But, stop, validate, pause - tell yourself that you don't need to go to their level. Find your self-respect by walking away and by choosing to take the high-road (btw if this is a pattern then the relationship needs to be revisited).

If you can heal your emotional deprivation schema these situations are less stressful and you can consider the dynamics in the relationship from your Healthy Adult Mode - with your emotional needs and values at the forefront of your mind.

Heal you schemas to change your world!

04/10/2023

Having a narcissistic parent can leave you with a difficult legacy - a tendency to not choose people who can be good to you and meet your emotional needs.

Having a narcissistic parent can indeed make it difficult to notice red flags when dating. Growing up with a narcissistic parent can shape your understanding of what is considered normal or acceptable behavior in relationships. Here are a few reasons why it can be challenging to recognize red flags:

1. Familiarity: Growing up, you may have become used to narcissistic traits and behaviors from your parent. Consequently, these behaviors might feel familiar and less alarming to you. This familiarity can make it difficult to identify similar patterns in your romantic relationships.

2. Normalization: Narcissistic parents often manipulate their children into believing that their behavior is normal or justified. They may make you feel responsible for their emotions or convince you that their needs should always come first. As a result, you may unintentionally seek out partners who exhibit similar narcissistic traits, as this behavior has been normalized for you.

3. Self-esteem issues: Narcissistic parents often undermine their children's self-esteem, making them doubt their own worth and judgment. This can lead to a lack of confidence in your ability to recognize red flags or set healthy boundaries in relationships.

4. Attraction to familiar dynamics: Unconsciously, you may be drawn to partners who resemble your narcissistic parent. This can be an attempt to recreate familiar dynamics in an effort to resolve past unresolved issues or seek validation from a partner who resembles your parent.

Having a narcissistic parent can leave you with schemas - abandonment, defectiveness/shame, mistrust/abuse, emotional deprivation, subjugation and self-sacrifice just to name a few.

Heal your schemas and you can break the toxic ties of narcissistic patterns for good.

Dr JC and Dr GG

We have a free download for you that talks about the impact of narcissistic parenting in more detail.

Just pop the word "parent" in the comments and we will send you the download link.

03/10/2023

https://www.theredflagproject.com/sc

One year with us - two experienced clinical psychologists and schema therapists inside our membership the Schema Circle - will literally change your world.

Find out the real reason you are stuck in negative life patterns such approval-seeking, low self-esteem and confidence, attracting emotionally unavailable/narcissistic partners and feelings of failure.

Once you know your schemas you will have all the answers!

Over the past 20 years we have helped 1000’s of people heal their schemas and break negative life patterns once and for all.

Inside Schema Circle you get the knowledge, skills and support you need to start your schema healing journey.

🌈 Our signature course - Know Your Schemas - the online self-paced course to help you know your own schemas and start to change them. We are currently dropping in lessons and modules over the next few months and supporting you with our monthly Q&A coaching calls.

🌈 Six masterclasses (we call the Deep-Dives and more will be added over time):
1. Dealing with Difficult Parents
2. Boundaries
3. Healing Your Vulnerable Child
4. Moving from Shame to Strength
5. Coping with Schema Triggers
6. Dealing with your Inner Critic

We have really thought about what you need to know based on thousands of hours with our 1:1 clients to start making changes and experience the relief and clarity that only Schema Therapy can bring.

All this for less than the cost of three individual sessions with us.

To find out more about the membership just click the link in our bio.

Hope to see you inside!

Dr Justine Corry and Dr Gemma Gladstone

PS Not ready to join us inside yet? No problem - we started a podcast so more people can benefit from the wisdom, clarity and insight of Schema Therapy. In our podcast we tell you all about schemas and how to start healing them - link to our podcast in the bio 😊

03/10/2023

If you have an abandonment schema you are not alone but you can definitely feel alone.

If you are in a relationship where you don't feel secure you can become preoccupied, anxious, desperate, vulnerable and needy - your anxiety is a constant hum.

Even worse, your fear of abandonment keeps you stuck in these dead-end relationships.

BUT did you know that if you heal your abandonment schema you can break free this love-trap and learn to choose emotionally available people where relationships are easy and just progress.

We talk all about this in our podcast - just go to the link in our bio to find out more.

02/10/2023

This illustrates how Sam was able to do opposite-action - to do the opposite of what her schemas were telling her to do - that is, keep quiet and say nothing.

In that very moment Sam became a pattern-breaker!!

Now, Sam is convinced that if they had not watched the deep-dive in the Schema Circle on boundaries this would not have gone so well.

You see, we just didn’t have enough time in our individual sessions for me to take her through all the relevant information about boundaries:

1. What a boundary is.
2. Types of boundaries.
3. Schemas that get in the way of boundaries.
4. Porous versus rigid boundaries
5. The Goldilocks Zone for boundaries
6. Creating your own boundary mindset

All of which Gemma and I covered in the deep-dive.

In between sessions Sam found the information needed to manage this situation in a strong Healthy Adult Mode using The Schema Circle.

Now this is just one example of how your own personal therapy and the material in The Schema Circle can amplify your progress in becoming your own pattern-breaker.

The doors to The Schema Circle are now open! BUT close on Thursday 5th October and we are not sure when we will reopen them. We will be focussing on creating content for our members.

Want to know more?

Just pop the word "Circle" in the comments to get the link to sign up.

Hope to see you inside!

Dr JC and Dr GG

28/09/2023

We truly believe that Knowing Your Schemas is like a super-power. The clarity, strategies and change that comes from Knowing Your Schemas is like nothing else.

27/09/2023

When you join The Schema Circle, you will get immediate access to seven Deep-Dives (one hour long master-classes) where we take you in-depth into content that we believe is essential to help you develop a strong Healthy Adult mode and heal your schemas. These are the Deep-Dives that are immediately available:

1. Dealing with Difficult Parents
2. Boundaries and Schemas
3. Triggers: Understanding and coping with schema activations
4. Transforming Shame to Strength: A key factor in developing a strong Healthy Adult Mode
5. Healing the Vulnerable Child
6. Schemas and Trauma: Understanding trauma and development of schemas
7. Meeting and Taming Your Inner Critic

New Masterclasses are added every quarter so you have a curated library of essential content at your fingertips!

PLUS

Each Deep-Dive has an accompanying Healthy Adult Mindset Tool that has been designed to help you benefit from the content in the Deep-Dive.

PLUS

Access to a private Facebook group community where you can interact with other group members and ask questions. We will also be popping in to answer questions and get ideas and feedback from you too!

AND

A supportive, non-judgemental space to explore your schemas and pursue your self-development goals.

If you want to get on the waitlist just click the link below.

https://www.theredflagproject.com/schema-circle

Doors to The Schema Circle open on 29th September.

Hope to see you on the inside.

Justine and Gemma