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05/07/2022

“Attention-seeking” and “acting out” really need to be reframed as connection-seeking and protest behaviors.

How old were you the first time you were shamed for wanting what you wanted, needing what you needed?

Sometimes we don’t have the appropriate tools, relationships or environments to get what need in an adaptive way.

But we’re all just out here trying to get our needs for connection, love and belonging met.

The key is to identify what you need to feel safe, validated and connected on a mind-body-soul level, and then to:

1) surround yourself with people and places and spaces that support you as such

2) develop the tools and skills and resources to sustain yourself in those inbetween moments

🙌 Forgive yourself if you need to for the ways you’ve gotten by and make it your mission to get your needs met in ways that align with your values moving forwards 🙌

At the end of the day, we’re all just so fu***ng human, and we make so much sense ❤️

📷:

23/06/2022

The hard fact is that feeling someone else’s pain won’t fix it for them.

Remember: choosing to no longer be responsible for a friend, partner or family member’s emotional health does not make you a bad person! It makes you wise. It requires acceptance and invites in compassion for self and other.

At the end of the day, this is YOUR LIFE to live.

And it can be really hard work to retire from the role of feelings manager, especially when you’ve played it so well, for so long.

But here’s what happens when you recognize where you end and others begin:

🐛 you take back your inner peace

🦋 you find your authentic truth and express it freely

🍄 you deepen your connection to yourself

⚡️and you maintain your ability to remain connected to yourself in the presence of another.

👆These are some of the most essential ingredients for living a meaningful life, if you ask me!

Consider how you might begin to put down the heavy weight of what isn’t yours to carry today and send this to someone who needs a friendly reminder ❤️

08/06/2022

Repeat after me: I will not choose suffering today. I have other choices available to me ❤️

06/06/2022

Interested in meaningful + lasting change? Read on.

State change: a shift in arousal states (e.g. rage to alert).

We all change states, some more often and intentionally than others. When we have tools to help regulate from extreme states to equilibrium we start • responding • more than [reacting] the world around us.

Over time this CAN indeed lead to trait change.

Trait change: a shift in personality, in the way in which someone generally responds to themselves and the world around them (e.g. high self confidence, compassionate).

Sometimes it may feel like you’re trying to move a mountain, but it’s possible to rewire your nervous system with regulation skills and your patterns with time, consistency and corrective experiences.

+ When you can’t find the hope, I’m here to hold it for you ❤️

Looking for a therapist? Schedule a free consultation with one of our providers ! (NY residents only)

24/05/2022

BRB

13/05/2022

Do mirror selfie’s count as a form of therapy, too?

If you want to show up in the world, confidently, consistently + authentically, keep reading! 👇

I had the privilege of having a confidence coaching session with back in 2020 🤩 It obviously f*%ked and she made me teach back to her the following pearls of pure wisdom that I’ve carried with me everyday since:

▫️ That talking to myself in the mirror about all of the ways I am and will continue to be a bad bitch is a key to healing + success.

▫️That the person I’m talking to in the mirror is my best f*%king friend and deserves to be treated accordingly.

▫️And that for the most part, no one gives a f*%k about you- in the kindest way possible. Mess up. Start over. Do you 👽

Do you consider talking to myself in the mirror - or speaking kindly to yourself in general no matter what - to feel therapeutic? I know I do!

Thanks for the confidence boost SFK 😘

IC: ***ngdate

11/05/2022

Wake up and ground down. Your nervous system will say thank you very, very much 🙌
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Grounding practices have changed my life (starting around the time I took this pic on my iPhone4? In 2013 😋)
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As a NYC professional for the better part of a decade (with a whole lot of anxiety disorders) you can only imagine what an average week looked/felt like. In one word: chaotic.
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With the high-stress and fast-paced work environment that was hospital social work, I often felt like I was spinning around in stress, anxiety, burnout depression, and emotional setbacks.
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I was “functional” but it was really, really hard to be most of the time (I was literally throwing up before work for YEARS 🤢).
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Once I implemented a morning routine, I began noticing what a difference it made in settling my nerves, reducing stress, and setting the tone for my day.
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✨ Yoga, Meditation, and Breathwork
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✨ Journaling and/or Intention setting
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✨ Sticking my head out of the window (when I had no outdoor space) for fresh air
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✨ Mindfulness through it all
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✨ Essential oils + crystals for additional grounding and connecting with the elements
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All of these help center you by orienting your brain and body to the present moment you so that you can soothe your anxiety.
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Coping and regulating your nervous system before getting after your day is possible. If you ask me, it’s crucial if you live with an anxiety or mood disorder.
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Grab my FREE Grounded Mornings Guide to balance your day (link in bio) and stay tuned for the ✨7 DAYS OF HOLISTIC SELF CARE CHALLENGE✨ later this month!
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And of course, you can find more mental health tips + education at 🌙

10/05/2022

We honor the ways in which deeply caring for the self doesn’t come naturally if it wasn’t what was modeled. The ways in which it may feel uncomfortable, even unbearable, to give yourself what you didn’t get.
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And yet, if you can find just the little bit of faith that you may indeed deserve the tender loving care of a small child, you can set an intention to reparent and rewire for a better tomorrow.
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With rememberance and mourning comes post-traumatic wisdom and growth.
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Swipe for 9 simple + significant practices to incorporate into your lifestyle, for a lifetime.
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Start small. Start today.
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Love,
Staci
Follow + for more!

08/05/2022

You were born inherently worthy of it all ^

We can acknowledge both the ways in which parents (typically) do the best they can and that even the most well-intentioned parents can miss the mark when it comes to their abilities to attune to their child’s emotional and psychological needs.

❤️We can honor our mothers and choose to re-mother/parent ourselves, too❤️

With whatever today brings up for you, I hope you can celebrate you for all of the ways you’re reparenting yourself as an adult. Happy YOU MATTER day to all 🥰

03/05/2022

PRACTICE SAFE VULNERABILITY ⚡️
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A friendly reminder not to overshare with people who are chronically invalidating.
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Oftentimes we overshare in hopes of deepening a connection with someone else.
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We ALL need connection - we also need to give others a chance to earn our intimacy!
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No one is entitled to anything off the bat but we also don’t want to feel as though we constantly have walls up. So take some time to really understand your conditions and boundaries within your relationships, and the capacity (or lack there of) of the people who hold space for you.
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You decide who gets a seat at your table - and some people can’t sit with you ❤️
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28/04/2022

Your pleasure is your power. There I said it 🙊

26/04/2022

Was that relationship of yours really invigorating? Or are you comparing it to the thrill of the chase for approval from someone who isn’t totally emotionally available?

On the other hand, is your relationship boring or are you feeling out of control by how safe it is because that feels so unfamiliar to you?

Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires a letting go of - a decision to allow yourself to be nourished by different things.

The healing path is there when you’re ready to take it and let go of what no longer serves you ❤️

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http://stacibenaroya.com/

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