23/02/2021
Do They Even Have A Right?
There is a very big gap, a hierarchy between 'us' the providers and 'them' the patient. There is some sort of a conclusion which is unwritten, a way of thinking which says we are better than them, the patients; we even know their body and how they feel better than them. So we are always condescending. We tell them how they should feel, how they are feeling now, we ignore their concerns or question or even if we are willing to answer, it is not respectful specially for those poor moms who are so scare of the white gown we wear.
Being a midwife is being with the woman. We are with her all the way through her pregnancy, birth and postpartum; even after. We let her guide as she knows her body the best. We follow her needs, we support her, we listen to her, we let her ask questions, we comfort her, we create a safe environment even in a space that is unsafe, we guide her when she needs a guidance, we cry and laugh with her, since we called her to the hospital from her comfortable home so that she can have her baby with us, we make the hospital as safe as possible. How? just by being with her. I know we are busy taking care of lots of moms, I know we are not well paid and life is hard. But, she is trusting hers and her baby's life on our hands, so we should be with her.
It is her right to accept or refuse a treatment even when her life is in danger. She can say ' no I don't need this provider, I want someone else to take care of me' . Does it seem off? You might even say to me you're crazy but its true. SHE HAS A RIGHT TO ACCEPT OR REFUSE WHAT WE OFFER AND WE CAN'T FORCE HER TO DO WHAT WE THINK IS BEST FOR HER. How many of us ask for a mom's permission before we do a cervical check? How many of us say okay if she says 'no I don't want to be checked?'
Becoming the best midwife starts with listening to and respecting a pregnant woman. It starts with respecting their rights, It starts with being with her!