11/09/2021
Just to be clear, I am not talking about physical violence here. That’s off the charts. If there is a physical aggression in your relationship, please do seek an expert plus leave your partner if possible.
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Now, let’s talk about the the quote I’ve written. Very often, in a romantic relationship, we tend to take everything personally. Our partner says something and we assume he/she meant to criticize us. And often we start to defend ourselves by verbally attacking him/her.
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As you probably know, this is a viscous cycle.
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How to get out of it?
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1) when you hear a comment that might seem to you as offensive, think about your partner’s needs first. Why did he/she say that? What does he/she miss?
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2)Remember, it’s hardly ever about you. Most likely it’s about him/her, their insecurity or pain. E.g. when he/she talks about the chores, the key problem is not the chores themselves but lack of affection or respect etc…
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3)Instead of assuming, ask more questions in a calm manner
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4) Ask them, “How can I make you feel better? How can I make it right?”
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If you are not sure where to start, dm me or comment below and book the first session with me for free👇