05/12/2024
Navigating the holidays as a trans person can bring a mix of emotions — joy, anxiety, or even stress, depending on your circumstances and the dynamics of your family AND social circles. Here are some strategies to help you prioritize your well-being and make the holidays as affirming and comfortable as possible:
1. Set Boundaries Ahead of Time
Communicate Expectations: If you're spending time with family or friends, consider setting boundaries before gatherings. For example:
Ask them to use your correct name and pronouns.
Let them know topics you are uncomfortable discussing (e.g., your transition, politics).
Plan an Exit Strategy: Have a plan for leaving if things become overwhelming. Drive yourself, arrange transportation, or stay with supportive friends.
2. Prepare for Missteps or Challenging Conversations
Decide How to Respond: Think about how you want to handle moments when someone misgenders you, uses your deadname, or makes hurtful comments. Options could include:
Gently correcting them: “Actually, my name is [your name], and I use [your pronouns].”
Redirecting the conversation: “Let’s focus on something more festive, like [topic].”
Walking away if it feels unsafe or emotionally taxing.
Lean on Allies: If someone in your family is affirming, ask them to advocate for you in difficult situations so you’re not always the one educating or defending yourself.
3. Practice Self-Care
Take Breaks: It’s okay to step away from the crowd if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Find a quiet spot to breathe, call a friend, or center yourself.
Do What Brings You Joy: Incorporate activities that make you feel good, whether it’s watching your favorite holiday movies, baking treats, or listening to music you love.
Limit Exposure to Negativity: If social media or family interactions become overwhelming, take breaks to protect your mental health.
4. Affirm Yourself
Embrace Your Authenticity: Wear clothes that make you feel confident and aligned with your gender, even if you’re just spending the day at home.
Affirm Your Identity: Practice self-affirming exercises, such as journaling or looking in the mirror and reminding yourself of your strength and worth.
5. Prepare for Emotional Highs and Lows
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or disappointed if family members don’t meet your expectations. Allow yourself space to process these emotions.
Reach Out for Help: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek support. LGBTQIA+-friendly hotlines and online communities can provide comfort and guidance.
Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860 (provides peer support for trans individuals)
Trevor Project: 866-488-7386 (LGBTQIA+ youth support)
LGBTQIA+ Helpline through Alliance Health (NC-based resource): 800-510-9132
6. Find Strength in the Bigger Picture
Celebrate Your Journey: Remind yourself of the progress you’ve made in living as your authentic self. That’s something worth honoring, especially during the holidays.
Lean on Affirming Resources: Seek out trans-specific podcasts, books, or online forums that can offer inspiration, connection, and hope.
7. Know It’s Okay to Say No
If a gathering feels unsafe or overly stressful, it’s okay to skip it. Your mental health and well-being are more important than fulfilling others’ expectations.
❤ ❤ Remember, the holidays are about connection and joy—but that doesn’t mean sacrificing your comfort or authenticity. Whether you spend the season surrounded by loved ones or enjoying a quiet, self-focused celebration, prioritize what feels right for you. You are valid, worthy, and deserving of love and happiness. ❤