Compassion Driven Coaching

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Compassion Driven Coaching

Here to help you improve your relationship with yourself. Coaching & courses for people who want to change with compassion, not shame.

Check out my IG and podcast for more content!

27/11/2025

When we’re anxious and overthinking, we get pulled into our Reactive Mind.

We focus on threats, we go round in circles, and we feel even more stuck.

Having a business plan matters, but it’s important to notice which state of mind you’re planning from.

Here’s what your Steady Mind sounds like:
I’m in my threat system right now.
It makes sense that I feel worried about this.
Slow enquiries happen; let me zoom out.
What part of my funnel needs attention?
What has worked for me before?

This is the shift that gives you perspective again.

Not because you came up with the perfect step by step plan, but because your shifted your brain state.

That starts with the first Steady Mind skill of NOTICING.

Try it this week!

25/11/2025

If you wait to feel less afraid, you’ll be waiting forever.

And that’s a pretty disempowering position to be in.

Your mind tell you there’s no point, you’re not capable, who are you kidding, you should just give up...

So consider this.

If I want to squat twice my body weight, but I haven’t been to the gym in a while, would you tell me to give up because it’s impossible for me to build muscle & strength?

Or would you acknowledge that for SURE it’s possible, I just need a structured training program, sufficient challenge and TIME?

Training your mind works in the exact same way.

Instead of moving away from fear, give yourself something to aim TOWARDS.

If you aren’t choosing, your threat system will choose for you.

If you want to choose differently, comment or DM me BTS to listen to the private pod!

24/11/2025

You might think you’re ‘too emotional’, but you’re just getting pushed out of your River of Regulation.

Signs you’re in the RAPIDS 🌊
• Feeling anxious or irritable
• Feeling like you must get everything done right now
• Snapping or getting defensive
• Racing thoughts
• Shallow breathing & feeling on edge

Signs you’re in the RIVERBED 🪨
• Fatigue that feels heavier than normal
• Inability to think clearly, spacey
• Wanting to withdraw
• Feeling disconnected
• Struggling to make decisions or take action

(This is often the part you confuse with laziness - it’s not!)

When you notice where you are, you can use the tools that bring you back toward regulation,

Where you feel steady, capable, clear, and connected to yourself again.

I’ll share some of my favourite strategies in my stories tomorrow.

The next time you’re wondering ‘why am I reacting like this?!… slow down and check in with yourself.

What do you notice?

18/11/2025

Grinding through is SO normalised in the entrepreneurial world.

If you don’t want to burn your business to the ground, are you even trying?!

You can certainly get s**t done with panic and pressure...
But it also reinforces the burnout cycle, and leaves us anxious and irritable in the long run.

And besides, the pattern of forcing yourself to get s**t done probably started long before you built your business…

(Isn’t that how you approached study? Your previous job?)

Building a business doesn’t have to be such an emotional rollercoaster,

And you can be effective without the panic.

Want to learn how to cultivate the steadier state of mind you’ve been missing?

Comment MOTIVATION to register for the Motivated Masterclass - we go live today!

16/11/2025

If you have high standards, you need the mind muscles to support them:

✨ NOTICING helps you catch the moment you slip into overthinking, procrastination or self criticism.

✨ STEADYING helps you settle your body so you can choose your next step, instead of reacting from fear, urgency or pressure.

✨ TOLERATING helps you stay present with discomfort so you don’t abandon your goals the moment things feel hard.

✨ PACING protects your capacity so you don’t burn out trying to do it all at once.

✨ REASONING gives you the ability to think clearly and be encouraing instead of beating yourself up.

These muscles are the difference between:

→ consistent vs. all-or-nothing
→ grounded vs. frantic
→ sustainable progress vs. burnout cycles
→ values vs. fear

If following through feels harder than it ‘should,’ you’re not hopeless…

You’ve got a training opportunity.

And that’s exactly what we’re working on inside the Motivated Masterclass next Tuesday!

Comment MOTIVATED for the link to register.

If you want momentum that doesn’t rely on pressure…
You won’t want to miss this.

15/11/2025

Emotional eating. Procrastination. Avoidance. Body image struggles...

Different symptoms, same root cause.

Your Reactive Mind switches on, and your nervous system goes into safety mode.

Suddenly you’re in the same loop again...even when you ‘know better.’

This isn’t a mindset issue.
It’s a training issue.

Our minds will do what they’ve evolved to do (avoid threat), unless we train them otherwise.

We need the MUSCLES for emotional steadiness, like:

💪🏻 Mind awareness, emotion tolerance, self-reassurance.

And the MOVES that help us follow through, like:

🏋🏻 State switching, assertiveness, problem solving.

And the moment things get frustrating and we doubt ourselves?

The Reactive Mind talks us out of training.

‘It’s not possible for you, it’s going to take too long, maybe things aren’t too bad the way they are and we should just give up...’

But deep down, you know you don’t want to settle.

The Motivated Masterclass will show you how to train your mind the way you train your body, so you can follow through on what really matters.

We go live next Tuesday - comment MOTIVATED for the link!

12/11/2025

‘I want to grow my business, but I feel like an imposter’
‘I know I should post more, but I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing’
‘I’m holding myself back and I don’t know why’

Are things I hear ALL the time in coaching.

And yet - building a business requires risk.
It requires persistence, and tolerating uncertainty.
It requires learning, feedback and showing up before you feel ready.

That’s impossible to do when you’re driven by threat...
Unless you’re okay with being miserable and burnt out!

Compassionate motivation is different. You:

✓ Regulate your emotions without turning to food
✓ Post consistently without the overthinking spiral
✓ Interrupt the procrasti-scrolling cycle and finish the work you started
✓ Stop endlessly planning and start taking action that moves your business forward

If you’re ready to cultivate that motivation for yourself, and make the impact you know you’re capable of…

Comment MOTIVATED for the link to register for the masterclass next week.

I can’t wait to see you there!

11/11/2025

If your mind is racing, and you feel restless or irritated when meditating,

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re training.

But just like you wouldn’t walk into a gym and max out at RPE 10 on day one, you don’t need to start with 20 minutes of mindfulness.

Start small:
→ Try 60 seconds of breathing before you check your phone.
→ Notice the flavour notes of your morning coffee as it hits different parts of your tongue.
→ Spend a few moments grounding your feet and aligning your posture before you open your laptop.

As a compassion-focused coach, I help clients train the soothing system of the brain so that regulation becomes a learned skill, not something we chase when we’re burnt out.

The goal isn’t to clear your mind.

It’s to build the capacity to stay present, steady, and helpful - even when it’s tricky in there.

• DOI: 10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.12.005
• doi.org/10.1007/s12671-017-0745-7

08/11/2025

Dieting can absolutely feel good.

We get a dopamine hit when we stick to our calorie targets and the scale goes down.
We feel acknowledged when someone compliments our weight loss.
Seeing physical changes gives us a sense of accomplishment.

But those feelings are fleeting.

Real confidence doesn’t fluctuate when the scale goes up, everyone around us is leaner, or we’re feeling bloated.

Real confidence comes from chasing approval or attractiveness, but from having a secure relationship with yourself.

A steady sense of self-assuredness that considers, but is not determined by, the opinions and standards of others.

It’s the version of you who:
• Doesn’t avoid their body and the clothes now
• Is present when meeting new people instead of stuck in their head
• Says yes to opportunities and takes risks, even if they might fail

How dose that version of you show up?

What’s one way you can embody that version of you - today?

[1] DOI: 10.1016/s0022-3999(02)00488-9
[2] DOI: 10.1186/1479-5868-8-75
[3] DOI: 10.1016/j.psc.2010.04.004

07/11/2025

‘I know I shouldn’t care about how I look but I do.’

I hear this constantly from clients.

Caring about your appearance doesn’t make you vain or shallow.

We all need connection and belonging. When we feel inadequate, we’re driven to increase our social rank. Nowadays that looks like striving for a muscular and lean body - and society rewards it.

There’s just one problem... it’s exhausting (and lonely).

We fear weight gain, micromanage food, avoid social events, and still worry what others think.

Positive body image is different.

Appearance becomes self-expression, not a bid for approval. We’re secure enough to handle others’ judgment. Appearance practices become FUN, not fear-driven.

It starts with building internal confidence, not just external.

Want to care for your appearance without obsession?

Comment STANDARDS for the podcast link where I break it down!

05/11/2025

Start by noticing when how shows up for you.

It’s rarely the word ‘shame’ in your head.

It’s more like:

➡️ I can’t wear that until I lose weight
➡️ I don’t want to take my top off in front of people
➡️ I want my body to reflect the hard work I put into the gym

Noticing and understanding your shame is how you can worry less what others think, and be more confident in who you are.

What would change for you?

04/11/2025

When it comes to fat loss, we can have multiple motives.

You might genuinely want to improve your nutrition for more energy, or to support your physical training, and assume that may result in fat loss.

You might also be motivated by:
• The fear of what you imagine others are thinking when they look at you
• Feeling like you need to hide or ‘fix’ your body before attending events, going on dates, or wearing certain clothes
• Trying to escape the sense that you’re not good enough as you are
• Wanting to prove something to people, or to yourself

And it’s the threat-driven motives that tend to overpower our more intrinsic reasons for change.

When we’re trying to avoid shame, we’re more likely to:
• Use criticism to ‘motivate’ ourselves
• Abandon our goals when progress stalls
• Sacrifice our wellbeing, relationships, and joy in pursuit of a number
• Never feel good enough even when we reach our goal

There’s nothing wrong about wanting to change your body.

But ask yourself: am I avoiding shame, or approaching self-respect?

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https://coachshannonbeer.com/

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