
15/09/2020
It’s the most simple yet complicated question, ever.
I’m not talking about the monumental, CAPITAL P Problems we are facing right now. The ones we wake up to every day that cause us to white knuckle our strength, hold the hands of those we can a bit tighter, and keep moving forward no matter what.
The problems I ask this question of are the ones that Anxiety manufactures in order to sabotage our focus.
It is WAY too easy to put all the problems we face in a single bucket, the Monumental and Capital P’s and the little lowercase ones, too. Collecting problems like they have value, when all they have is weight.
Insoo Kim Berg was a psychotherapist and pioneer of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. In her work with couples, she was well-known for saying, “We will get back to that,” whenever a partner tried to veer the session off of its charted course and lose focus by bringing up a new or different “problem.” Most of the time, Insoo never “got back” to the grievance because it wasn’t ultimately part of the solution for that day’s work. Simple, yet profoundly effective.
So this question:
𝗜𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺, 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆?
Like a truly, 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵-𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵-𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴-𝘰𝘶𝘵-𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘱-𝘰𝘳-𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴-𝘥𝘢𝘺-𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵-𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘦𝘥 kind of problem?
Has only one answer:
𝗬𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗡𝗼.
If the answer is Yes, then okay. What would support you in resolving the problem? Who do you need to talk to about this, and what resources do you need?
But if the answer is No, then back in the bucket it goes. You can “get back” to it later 😉.