NEPA Loss Team

24/10/2025

YOU’RE JUST GRIEVING

People think it’s all in your head. It’s not.
Loss flips the switches in your nervous system and your body takes the hit.

Stress? Yeah—fight-or-flight that won’t shut off.
Your heart kicks up for no reason.
Palms sweat. Chest gets tight. Breathing goes shallow even when you’re sitting still.
You jump at sounds you never noticed before. Doors closing. Phones buzzing. Your whole system on alert.

Anxiety? It’s not “just in your mind.”
Jaw clenches till your teeth hurt. TMJ flares.
Neck and shoulders lock up like you slept on cement.
Random dizziness. That weird buzzing in your ears.
Hands shake trying to hold a mug. Knee bouncing under the table.
Skin breaks out. Scalp gets tender.
You can’t stand bright lights or noise for long.

Fatigue? Not the kind a nap fixes.
You sleep and wake up wiped out.
Dream hard and wake sore, like you ran all night.
You forget simple words mid-sentence. Walk into rooms and can’t remember why.
Time gets weird—hours vanish doing nothing because your brain is busy keeping you upright.

Your gut gets in on it too.
Stomach flips for no clear reason.
Nausea out of nowhere. Acid burning.
Bathroom issues—constipation one week, the opposite the next.
Food tastes off. You crave salt or sugar or nothing at all.

Headaches that hang on for days.
Migraines with the aura that makes you see sparks.
Shoulder blades feel like they’re carrying a backpack that isn’t there.
Cold hands. Tingling feet.
Random chills even when the room is warm.

Your immune system drops its guard.
You catch every cold going around.
Healing takes longer—cuts, bruises, anything.
Hormones get messy. Cycles shift. Sleep cycles, too.

None of this means you’re broken.
It means your body logged the loss and is still trying to keep you safe.

So here’s the part no one says out loud:
If your symptoms look like stress, treat the stress.
If they look like anxiety, treat the anxiety.
If they look like fatigue, honor the fatigue.
You don’t have to prove it’s “grief enough” to listen to your body.

Water. Real food. Short walks. Stretch the jaw you’ve been clenching.
Hands on your chest—slow the breath down.
Block the calendar when you can. Sit in the quiet when you need to.
Call the doctor if you’re worried. Use meds if they help.
This is not weakness. It’s maintenance.

You’re not lazy. You’re not making it up.
You’re just grieving. ❤️
-Joey-

Thank you to “In Your Footsteps”

15/10/2025

30/09/2025

“In the aftermath, it is common to ask ourselves if we want to go on. Surviving the su***de of a loved one is an enormous task. It requires energy and commitment, and the ability to choose to suffer and endure, hoping, but not knowing if anything is on the other side of pain.

“The vast majority of people who experience loss to su***de do survive and, more importantly, go beyond just surviving. They suffer. They endure. They engage with the challenges and conflicts – and eventually, they turn a corner back into life. Still loving and still missing the one who is gone, but stronger, wiser, and able to contribute in ways never envisioned before the loss.” ~Ronnie Walker

👉Connect with survivors who understand at allianceofhope.org

***deIsComplicated ***dePrevention ***dePreventionMonth

25/09/2025

24/09/2025

This is a difficult, but important truth to accept when trying to support a grieving person:

There is nothing you can do to take away their pain.

Getting your person to “cheer up” is not a realistic goal and trying to make it so can cause a lot of problems:

1. Your grieving person may feel like they need to put on a happy or brave face for you.
2. Your grieving person may receive your attempts to “fix things” as judgement that they aren’t grieving “correctly” in your eyes.
3. Your grieving person may find your attempts to “cheer them up” hurtful because (even though you may not realize it) your words and/or gestures of “comfort” come across as dismissive.

The result of these scenarios is:

1. They feel stress (on top of their grief).
2. They feel shame (on top of their grief).
3. They feel anger (on top of their grief).
They do not feel better. They feel worse.

No matter how good your intentions are and how much you try, if you approach grief support with the goal of cheering your person up, you are setting yourself up for failure.

So, let’s redirect that care and energy towards a different goal:

Assure your grieving person they are not alone.

Be there for them. Be there with them. It may not seem like much, but it’s the most important thing you can do.

For more, visit: https://speakinggrief.org/get-better-at-grief/supporting-grief/be-authentic

Speaking Grief is produced by WPSU with philanthropic support from the New York Life Foundation.

20/09/2025

It's important to remember that it's okay to feel a range of emotions and to take the time to heal at your own pace. Seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group can help you navigate through this difficult time. Remember, you are not alone in your grief and healing is possible.

12/09/2025

Please consider joining us for this year's Annual Su***de Prevention and Remembrance Walk. There will be food, basket raffles, but most importantly, a place to heal and meet others going through the same thing.

01/09/2025

Prevention matters deeply. So does honoring the complex reality survivors face. Sometimes there are no signs, and sometimes love isn’t enough.

Both prevention and postvention save lives. Both require communities willing to sit with the difficult truths and respond with compassion rather than judgment.

For the 8th year in a row, we are launching our “Su***de is Complicated” campaign on social media. Our intention is twofold: 1) Increase awareness of the complexities surrounding su***de and su***de prevention. 2) Increase support and understanding for loss survivors.

We invite you to share our posts, and use the hashtag ***deiscomplicated. Join us in expanding the conversation this September and throughout the year.

And please know the Alliance of Hope community is here to support you. 💙

***deIsComplicated ***dePrevention ***dePreventionMonth

21/08/2025

It’s hard to know what to say to someone who is grieving. But don’t let fear paralyze you into inaction.

Megan Devine, psychotherapist and author of “It’s Ok That You’re Not OK,” shares the impact that silence can have:

“Because we're so weird and so awkward about grief, one of the things that can happen is, as a support person, you feel like, ‘I don't wanna say the wrong thing.’ So, you say nothing.

Saying nothing is a terrible, terrible thing to do to your grieving person.

For the grieving person what that feels like is abandonment. So, not only have they lost their person but they've lost their people.”

Remember that “speaking” grief can be done with actions in addition to or in place of words. Give a hug. Sit with someone in silence. Mow the lawn. Drop off food. Show up.

For more: https://speakinggrief.org/get-better-at-grief/supporting-grief/be-authentic

18/08/2025

Come join Su***de Prevention Alliance as we and others who have been impacted by su***de will be at the PA State Capitol Rotunda on September 10, 2025, from 10:00 am to 11:30 am, on Su***de Prevention Day. Join su***de prevention advocates, su***de attempt and loss survivors, Legislators, Su***de Prevention Task Forces, mental health professionals, and YOU, the public, for an important day at the Capitol. We need each and every one of you who has been impacted by su***de to come and show that we stand strong together. Display tables will provide free information such as brochures, resources, wristbands, etc. Hope to see you there...we need YOUR VOICE!