20/05/2025
🌹💀🖤
"The thing is, even if I wanted to forget you, I'll never be able to forget the first time my soul was ever touched by someone else. I'd have to rewind the cosmos to a time and place when I was nothing but floating particles of a dying star shedding its last remaining bit of light and significance. I wonder if you ever feel my hands on you as I feel yours on me when there's only breaths exiting a single mouth in a room. I wonder if you still wrap yourself around a pillow before falling asleep to feel comfort in a softness only we had. I remember opening your legs for the first time, and in that moment, I never wanted them to close again. You were every rock formation in Sedona and every redwood tree in California. You were the earth to me, allowing my damaged parts to be a home for all of what you meant to me, and still mean to me today. I struggle to find the right days to add texture to our movements in a past life, but it's a sacred place only we know of, which makes conveying these intricate thoughts even more potent to write out loud. There's never been an absence of you. You've walked with me since the first time I picked you up and laid you down on the bed where we both were feigning for the other's nakedness. You're an incessant exploration of moans and biting flesh, of thoughtful ravaging and comforting pain all in the same act of surrendering to me. I remember the way your eyes closed after I removed your shirt. I remember the way you'd lift your skirt up just enough to show the red you were wearing for me. It was a carnal instinct between us. Something beyond a kiss here and there. Something more than open hands and fingers moving along the inside of your thighs and yours guiding mine further down the front of you. We orchestrated infinities, but time is undefeated when it comes to separating what was never meant to be split apart to begin with. When I think of you, I don't need to close my eyes. I simply stare off into a void where you continue your heavy breathing, and my eyes stay transfixed on the way you could move for me without us saying a single word by the time we finished. But the thing is, we never finished. We never will."
