23/01/2021
Hi everyone, i know it’s been a while since we’ve posted, but are exams are slowly coming to an end thankfully! Today’s post is about depression, as i(maisie) have been suffering very badly with this recently, and i want to share my story to share the main message which is: IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK.
So i have been suffering with depression since last december, and before i went to the GP i kept telling myself to not be so dramatic and would give myself alot of grief for not being ok. Luckily i had the most amazing housemate and family who helped me to go the GP and admit that it how i wasn’t normal. This was a massive turning point for me and i tried to tell myself that this was only temporary, i was the put on medication which helped massively. However, fast forward to a few weeks ago, i went downhill again, i struggled to get out of bed and this made me feel so guilty as j had exams coming up. I couldn’t stop crying and i felt like my life was a failure and that i was a burden on everyone in my life. I went to a very dark place and had some really horrible thoughts, and it felt like nothing would make me better, my medication dose was upped and i was always on the phone trying to seek help and to find anyway to make myself feel better. Now i have completed my exams, definitely not revising as much as i would have liked to but i COMPLETED the exams which is a massive achievement for me. I am now waiting to recieve CBT which i hope will help me. I am slowly getting myself back together, and i couldn’t have done it without the amazing support of my friends, boyfriend, family and the mental health services available. I am nowhere near as happy as i once was but i will get there.
The main message i want to get at is that if you ever feel this way, to please be nice to yourself, i am the worst person for beating myself up when i spiral, but your life is so important. Please never ever feel afraid to ask for help, no matter how stupid you feel, and to talk to your friends/family or anyone you feel comfortable with. This is such a hard time especially due to lockdown and everyone is feeling so lonely and isolated so we need to look out for each other.