18/12/2023
Friendly PSA to parents:
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts with babies and small children crying on Santa’s lap. I realize it looks kind of cute and funny but it’s not and here’s why.
Your child feels unsafe with this stranger. They are literally going into fight or flight. They are confused as to why the person who generally keeps them safe has placed them in the arms of a stranger. They can’t get away. They try, and we stand there and tell them to wait. It’s confusing and scary.
From a body autonomy perspective, we are sending them the message that they don’t have ownership over their own body. We are telling them that it’s okay to have body contact with a strange man. And it’s safe for the strange man to touch them, and hold them on his lap. We expect them to be able to distinguish this experience with “Santa” (which they generally realize is just a man with a fake beard), from a different situation where a stranger is allowed to touch them or tell them what to do.
If you really want the kids-with-Santa photo memories, it’s okay if you just change up a few things:
🎅🏼 Be in the picture with your kids. Safety for children starts with proximity and closeness to parents.
🎅🏼 Explain why we do this, and give them the power to say no.
🎅🏼 Know that many children will not say no because they’re worried about saying that to an adult so if you see that they are unhappy or uncomfortable, say no and stop it for them. Be their advocate and demonstrate their right to body comfort.
🎅🏼 offer for them to stand beside Santa not sit on his lap
🎅🏼 Stop it the second you see discomfort.
AND, if you’re thinking omg, this happened. It’s okay. We are all just learning and can do something different next year. ♥️
Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating this year! 🎄🎄🎄🎄
