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And Then I Met U

Marriage is beautiful and honourable. It is something to be cherished and definitely worth preserving.

Our hope is that as we share some of our experiences with you, you will be encouraged to cherish your marriage and make it a happy one.

30/06/2022

We're often guilty of showing more respect to strangers in public than we show to our loved ones in private. We sometimes show more courtesy to the waiter/waitress taking our order in a restaurant than we give to the one that we vowed we would love, honor, and cherish 'til death do us part. This should not be. Honor and respect should be cultivated in your marriage first and foremost. Honor and respect will ascribe value to your spouse without stumbling over who they are not. When you honor someone it says more about you than the person being honored. In the same vein if you dishonor and disrespect someone it reveals the content of your character, not theirs.

18/06/2022

Have you ever wondered why couples who start out as love birds end up falling out of love?

Many couples are at a stalemate because they have allowed a wall to develop between them. Walls are erected a brick at a time. Each brick represents one partner’s failure in a particular matter. It may be as small as failing to carry out the garbage or as large as failing to meet sexual needs. The one committing the failure often ignores it instead of dealing with it. Excuses are offered, such as, “After all, what does she expect? I’m doing my part.” Or,“Why doesn’t he think of my needs?”

Often, one failure after another is ignored until a long, high, thick wall develops between two people who started out “in love.” Communication grinds to a halt, and only resentment remains.

Would you like to demolish the wall in your relationship? I can tell you how. You do it by tearing down those bricks of failure, one by one. Admit your failures as specifically as possible and ask your spouse to forgive you. If you begin to tear down the wall from your side, you make it easier for your spouse to begin demolition from the other side.

James 5:16 makes it clear that believers should confess their sins to each other. How much more true that is within the context of marriage, where those sins have directly affected the other person. Be willing to admit when you were wrong. If both of you are willing to tear down the wall of separation, you can clear away the rubble and build a beautiful relationship.

10/06/2022

When you get married, you make a promise about the future. But you make it at a moment's time when you don't really know what the future is going to bring. People change, circumstances change, needs change. The only constant is God. Allow God to be sovereign in your marriage, to meet the needs, desires, and expectations, and fulfill what His Word says He will. Your spouse will continually disappoint you, frustrate you and hurt you, and sometimes very deeply. God never disappoints.

Malachi 3:6 KJV
For I am the Lord , I change not.......

21/01/2022

When we offend our spouse by our words, actions, or attitude, it’s common to want to take the easy way out by offering a simple “Sorry” or “I apologize.” However, just saying these words without proper context is as hurtful as our first offense. It adds salt to the wound instead of healing it.

It’s more effective and meaningful if we extend the apology by admitting our wrong, acknowledging our spouse’s hurt, declare our intention to not do it again, and asking for forgiveness. Often the reason we don't do this is simple. It's called pride. Pride is terribly destructive to human relationships and has no place in marriage. It may be the sin that God hates most, because there are more than one hundred references to it in Scripture. Proverbs 6:17–19 describes seven things that God finds detestable, and the first one on the list is “a proud look.”

If you have a haughty attitude that prevents you from seeking real forgiveness and reconciliation you will have a wounded spouse and a crippled marriage. On the other hand God promises, "I restore the crushed spirit of the humble, and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts." (Isaiah 57:15)

17/06/2021

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a difficult one consists of leaving about 3 or 4 things a day unsaid. You do not always have to respond to every irritating slight, word, or action your spouse commits and holding your tongue doesn't make you weak, it makes you wise. Overlooking minor offenses will allow you to be in a much better position to deal with the major issues as they come up in a loving, successful way.

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

05/06/2021

Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgement, and a promise. It is giving the very best of yourself, expecting nothing in return. As it is with integrity and character, the true depth of love is not revealed until sacrifice is required. We have to look no further than the cross to understand what love is.Marriage is an ongoing, vivid illustration of what it costs to love an imperfect person unconditionally...the same way Christ has loved us.

John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

03/06/2021

Most Christian husbands are very familiar with the scripture, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22). Unfortunately too often it is very difficult for wives to submit to their husbands. Why? Because of men who demand submission from their wives but in turn submit themselves to no one, especially God. We cannot blame wives for being frustrated because they fear the injustice of being under headship that itself is not accountable. These kind of husbands want authority without responsibility. As the leader of my home it is my responsibility to demonstrate what submission looks like as I submit unto God. Yes, wives are told to submit to their husbands so it isn't a choice (sorry ladies, I don't make the rules...God does). My job however is to be such a man, submitted unto God, that my wife would submit to me with a glad and trusting heart. If she finds it hard to do this then it is my fault, not hers.

Colossians 3:18 KJV
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

01/05/2021

As a woman, as a wife, you stand on an exclusive platform; your presence and voice have the power to cause a ripple of goodness throughout your husband’s soul. You are the melody God has chosen to play on the foreground of your husband’s world. You have the power to bring forth life, not only with children but also to the dreams, hopes, and aspirations of your husband. I know this because my wife is the music to my world, and the rhythm my heart dances to.

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another.

12/04/2021

Loving your spouse doesn't mean that you approve of everything that they do. It means that your commitment to them is bigger than all of their flaws. By overlooking the minor issues, you are much better able to deal with the major issues as they come up, in a loving, successful way.

Proverbs 19:11 A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense.

03/04/2021

Dear fellow husbands, during these holidays make a list of all the household responsibilities that come to your mind. Washing dishes, cooking meals, buying groceries, vacuuming the carpet, washing the car, mowing the grass, all household chores. Ask your spouse to do the same. Then put your two lists together and come up with a “master list” of responsibilities.

Next, each of you should take the list and put your initials by the things you think should be your responsibilities. Finally, get together and see where you agree. The differences will need to be negotiated, with someone being willing to take responsibility.

Trust me, your marriage will improve greatly after the holidays. And please i urge you to continue with it even after the holidays.

26/03/2021

Of all the relationships we have in this life, the one we have with our spouse is the most important, next to our relationship with God. In fact out of all the illustrations God could have chosen, He picked the bond between the husband and wife to exemplify the intimacy He desires with his bride, the church (Ephesians 5:23-32). Having said that I am constantly amazed how little time we actually spend studying and learning about marriage. We enter into marriage in love, and assume our love will automatically continue to grow and sustain us, without putting any work into keeping it strong. Unfortunately this kind of reasoning is a lot like saying, "My car is filled up with plenty of gas today, so it should be fine to keep driving it from now on without doing anything else to it." Of course most cars, like most marriages, would end up on the side of the road rather quickly. You have to invest in your marriage and invest in your spouse, and not just from time to time but daily. Become a student of marriage. A great marriage does not just happen. One must be deliberate, intentional, and purposeful, and in the end it’s worth every minute that we give in working towards it.

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