Debunk with Fifi

24/10/2023

08/09/2023

Love child simply means a child between unmarried couples. Everyone beats his or her child whether with a cane or ruler. Even some do it with their hands or fingers. What I wrote doesn't mean I hurt or harm him. I sought advice from members here because I need it. The mom brought him to me after three years of being"away". She had a child for another man then decided to bring me mine. I wasn't even aware she was pregnant for me. I love kids. But I seem to get angry with him and sometimes cane him (Not something you will even call caning) but I feel bad. Maybe using the word "beat" was too heavy. I'm sorry.

My response

I came across your story yesterday but unfortunately I wasn’t able to reply, I hope you read this.
After reading your story what caught my eye was the fact that you have realized what you are doing isn’t right and you wanted to change it. Kudos
It one thing to REALIZE you are doing something and a step high to know it NOT RIGHT and a higher step to want to make it right.
I hope after my write up you would be able to fight your “de.mons” and treat the little one better.
Let’s dive deeper.
The first point I would talk about is
Difficulty Bonding or nurturing with the child; In your case, it is this because first of all you didn’t know about your child from conception until first few years of your child’s life. So you have this issue at the back of your mind ; why didn’t she tell me she was pregnant for me, why did she wait until now, should I trust her, it was good I left her ……the questions keep coming and coming and coming yet you don’t give your self the chance to answer them. The little one now becomes a reminder of all these. So you vent that anger on him. It more like he is an “award” from your past which irritates you and keeps reminding you of “those days”

Secondly; your personal view of having kids with different mothers. There are men who wish to have all their kids with one woman. Their reasons vary but the common one is because of the upbringing of the kids. If you have an issue with having kids with different women then this would anger you because he is from a different mom which defies your idea or plan of having all your kids with one woman.
Your financial status; this can be divided in two aspects, you aren’t financially okay yet, and there comes another responsibility which you were not even aware of from start. The second is, you know your financial strength so you have planned your family say to have 3 kids with some other plan which ensures you and your family are okay, but here comes another kid you didn’t know of, meaning it either you reduce the number of kids you want to have with your wife or adding your love kid could cause financial distress. So more like your plans have been disrupted
Our fourth point is if you had some sort of abuse as a child. Either from your parents or guardians. So your love kid is pressing on those pains by being there. You would ask why are you not like that with the other kids ? It because your wife is there for them, but for your love kid you have a sense of responsibility towards him since you are both his biological mother and father.
Fifth point; how does your wife relate to your love kid and how does she interact with him in your presence and abscence and what does she tell you about him. This is not to say she is a bad step mom. Being a step mom in of it self is huge. Cause society already has a mindset about step moms . So how is she coping and what is your relationship with her. If you as the husband is torturing her emotionally that anger can be vented on your love kid and you would get more complains about him which in turn would make you angry and you vent it out on him

The list goes on and on
But let me stop here so we can look at what you can do to solve this
What ever your reason for your anger towards him strive hard to stop your self from raising your hand. This can be the most difficult part of trying to be a better parent especially if that what was done to you or you have been doing that. I am a parent too and I do loose my cool, in my journey to being a better parent there were days I would raise my hand and ready to strike then I caution myself. In that instant you see my hand 🤚 in the air. I slowly bring down my hand. If at that moment the anger is to much to handle I literally tell the child to go out or I go to the washroom.
Then I think about the whole situation. I start by telling myself calm down calm down. You liters see me talking to myself. Then I begin processing. What did the child do? Why did the child do it? What is the impact of the child’s action. Did what he or she do affect or harm any other person or a sibling or did it cause me financial loss.
How would the action affect this child in the long run. How do I stay calm and handle this maturely . How do I make the child understand what he or she has done and how do I let them see the impact.

Example; your child breaks a jar you just bought and you cherish . And it wasn’t a mistake it was intentional. A mistake is when the child was running or playing and hits it.
Intentional is when the child picks the jar and throws it knowing it would break.
This can be very annoying. Your response is going to mean a lot. First of all if the child is old enough to help in picking the pieces without hurting themselves involve them while you supervise.
Get the other kids out of the scene and by doing that you are reinforcing to the child that what he did was wrong so at that moment your attention is shifted to the others. So his brain would feel left out.
If you react , In a way the brain has felt your presence. Then call the kid who did it to clean up while you supervise. If they are too small to pick, do it in their presence. While they stand and watch you. After explain to them why what they did was wrong then you give your APPROPRIATE “punish.ment” this can be you take away the child’s favorite thing. This can be their tablet, or cartoons for a while. The bigger the “crime” the longer the punishment . But don’t over do this. If you over do it , the essence of what you are teaching would be lost.
But know that your first response matters the most.
The mistake we do is we tend to be shouting while telling the child the effect of what they have done. In that yelling moment the part of the brain that controls their reasoning is shut cause the shouting and yelling is more of fear. After which you descend on the child with beating. The child is more afraid of the beating than the effect of their actions. So you realize in your presence they behave well but once you are not there then hell breaks loose. This is why we say when they were kids they were not like that ooo but now I don’t know why.
The typing is already long and I hope you read to the end.
You can follow my page for more

25/08/2023

Good morning Fellow Grandmothers, Aunties and Mothers, I need your help to raise my 13year old girl better. I am a mother of 5kids. My fourth is 13years in JHS 2. She is different from all the kids and the slimmest but very tall. She can fight everyone, speak her mind to young and old, command the hold school of over 600 kids to follow her instructions and even petition her authorities. I have been called to her school several times on different occasions. At times she will refuse to pay classes fees and demand that teachers should bring a letter as a proof or report to the municipal directors. She is very intelligent but not calm. She fights ike a lioness until blood flows. She writes everything in her diary and will refer you at the least provocation. This girl is has telephone numbers of lawyers and judges across the country and always seeking justification of issues. Infact I need guidelines to raise her properly. We have fasted, prayed, counselled her but she will only tell you " mummy eat and sleep wai, you have now given birth...
I need help

Dear mummy, I don’t see a disrespectful child here, I see a girl with attributes that wasn’t trained or tamed.
First of all well done as a mom. No one could have raised your kids better than yourself.
I believe a mother is a different mother to all her kids. You are not the same mom you are to your first child as you are to your second child.
Why?
Because they have different personalities which would affect and poke your own childhood.
How you react in the heat of the moment is what defines the situation
Once I was consulted on a child who liked talking, but would be very confused when you shout. But once you explain calmly, that child becomes the most intelligent.
My advice to the mom was, if she doesn’t stop shouting at the child, she the mom would destroy the child’s self esteem and the child’s intelligence but if she the mom calms and controls the situation she would raise a very responsible and respectable child.
What am trying to say here is, your approach to her personality can either make her more wild or tame her.
What was your relationship with the older ones when she was born? That the first question
If you were kinda strict to the elders and she being a baby you were soft (which should be obvious ) then her tiny brain would start to pick up info. Some of which can be I have to rebel to get my way.
My siblings are calm they don’t get their way
It could start as when she was a child, when she requested for something she would cry or throw tantrum till she gets it. And it worked
So that gets registered in her brain. However this might not be the narrative
Science has it that nature and nurture work hand in hand
She may have been born with these qualities but society shaped it which start from the home.
Now to the issue; who does she trust the most. Or who is she close to. Let her explain her points. Why does she think the teacher needs to explain himself before she pays for classes
First of all why is the teacher taking extra classes. May be because the term is short and they have a lot to cover so it a way to make up for it
So why is he charging for it
Is the government not paying him?
Yes the government does, but the government only pays him to teach up until 3pm , the rest of the day belongs to him
He decides what he does with it
He can go home and teach others or do any other work and get paid or even watch tv
That time is his
So if he decides to take classes that means they have to pay for his time unless the teacher states otherwise
If she doesn’t want to be in his class that ok
She should not pay, but she would have to go home and learn and make up for what she is loosing from missing those extra class.
And if she fails to do so, then not only is she going to fail her exams but also fail to know what that topic is about.
When dealing with children you need to lay the consequences for them
Not all consequences should end with I would beat you
You give your child food, and they start sprinkling the food around . That bad. Explain to them sprinkling the food not only mean wastage but it would as well dirty the room and create more work.
The consequence here is the food would be taken away from the child. And they would have to do the clean up.
And explain if you are full you can save the food for later
For some kids this would work, but for some it won’t. If it won’t , replace the consequences by taking away a favorite thing. If they are doing that so they can play games, then you let them know if you do that you won’t get the game for this time frame.
Another thing that really helps is your tone and composure; when the child is wrong , look them directly in the eyes and speak with a firm but calm tone. Don’t beat about the bush. Don’t start comparing (your bro won’t do this ), don’t start shaming, don’t start insulting.
Just go straight. You did this and that, this is the consequences, this is why you shouldn’t do this and this is the alternative. At that moment if there needs to be punishment make sure it an appropriate one.
I have said much. Visit my page for more of these
Virtual dr

29/07/2023

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Prices and packages in the comment section.

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0243282326 (call and WhatsApp)
Thank you 😊

12/07/2023

Treatment and prevention of candidiasis

Yesterday we looked at reasons why we keep getting Candidiasis. On today’s episode let’s talk about how to treat and prevent it.
As most of you would observe, i don’t prescribe medication on my page.
But these are the few things you can do
When given medication, please check if it is antibiotics or anti fungal . Mostly we get recommendations from friends and loved ones. I used this and it worked for me, you should try it too. What we miss is that even though the symptoms might be similar the conditions are very different. So if this medication worked for your sister doesn’t mean it would work same with you
Nevertheless if you buy the medication, type the name in google. It would give you some information. Also most medication have a leaflet in them. You don’t have to read everything if you don’t want to, what’s important is to know what class of drug you are taking, then move on to read the side effects and adverse effect and also read what the medication can interact with.
There are some medication you don’t take with milk and there are others you don’t take with other medications.
Once you read those key points you would know it all.
Our next point is probiotic yoghurt. In my article yesterday I spoke about how probiotic helps with candidiasis. Probiotic is filled with good bacteria that are very good for our overall well being. If you get the 💯 pure probiotic yoghurt, it might taste a bit sour but if you can take it without sugar that a win win situation. I have actually heard of women who insert probiotic yoghurt into the v@g!na to treat candidiasis. In as much as their logic might make sense in that the probiotic contains lacto bacilli to help fight the Candida albicans it still not advisable to put something like yoghurt there. If you prefer to insert something there to treat your candida, it better to get the right medication that is inserted there. We have pessaries purposely for treating candida. But taking probiotic yoghurt orally helps you fight candidiasis a lot. Also it has other benefits.
You can as well be taking it as a snack. You can take it everyday once it has little to no sugar.
But please note that there is a difference between frozen yoghurt and probiotic yoghurt.

We would end today’s episode here. Until we meet again. Do stay safe and don’t forget to share.

11/07/2023

Candidiasis. The 3 reason why it keeps coming back.
Every woman would suffer this at least once in her lifetime
What causes this and how it occurs is where the issue is.
Candida is caused by a fungi. Remember in jhs we learnt kingdom animalia, kingdom plantae etc etc
Fungi are also living organisms. The green green thing that comes on bread is from that group, the mushroom we eat is from that group.
Some of them we can see with our eyes some we can’t .
Among the ones we can’t see is the one that causes women candidiasis. They live with us on our skin, in our mouth and in the va**na.
But they live there peacefully and yes men too have some on their skin and mouth as well.
The problem is not because they live with us, the problem is how we influence their living.
Even though they live with us, their number is being controlled by us without our knowledge.
How does this occur?
Let’s say the Candida albicans (the fungi that causes candidiasis) is supposed to be 50.
Your immune system, your diet, hygiene, the environment surrounding the va**na etc can either make them more than this 50 or less or within that 50.
The point is when they become more than the number they are supposed to be then that when you have white or candidiasis .
Let’s break it down
Immune system; these are the soldier’s of our body. They fight diseases for us. When the immune system realizes that the Candida albicans (fungi causing candidiasis) is becoming more than the number they should be, it keeps them under control and fights it. So a day or two you have some itching and it goes away. It probably because your immune system has won the battle. Certain diseases can reduce the strength of your immune system like HIV AIDS, Diabetes etc.
People with uncontrolled diabetes or AIDS can have very severe candidiasis.
But the immune system can’t win the battle alone, it needs other supporters. And that takes us to our next supporter ; diet.
- [ ] Diet; growing up you would hear our parents say don’t take too much sweets if not you would get din din (my Hausa readers would understand) . I can’t remember how it was said in twi. Your diet plays a major role here as well. Infact your diet influences your immune system. So if take in a well balanced meal you are most likely going to have a strong immune system. ( balanced diet isn’t plenty meat or fish. That a topic for another day). If your diet has a lot of sugar, you may have sugar (glucose) in your blood for a longer period of time. The fungi which is the Candida albicans would now feed on the sugar and over grow. Causing you to have candidiasis. This is why women with uncontrolled diabetes can have severe candidiasis. First because the diabetes has weakened their immune system and secondly because they have sugar (glucose) running through their blood which feeds the fungi. Please note that when it comes to sugar, every humans body reacts to it differently. Not even twins would have their body controlling their blood sugar the same. Also sugar doesn’t also mean only the white sugar. When we start talking about diabetes we would talk more on this.
- [ ] Hygiene ; hygiene plays a huge role when it comes to Candidiasis. The Candida albicans can stay in the towels, panties, underwear and basically anything that touches your v@g!na . So if these things are not properly handled the Candida gets the chance to over grow in them and in turn causes you Candida. This is why if madam A has candidiasis and she uses the toilet, then you come after her and use the toilet you can get candidiasis because by sitting on the toilet some of madam A’s Candida would be left on the toilet and you who came after her would pick it up. The same happens with towels and panties. If you share your panties or any of these things your tendency of getting Candida is very very high. That brings us to another stage. Pad; whether you use pad or diaper or clothe etc. If you leave it there for too long you are bound to have Candida. You see the pad, plus the panty or underwear etc creates heat. I mean the place does not even get enough air already plus all these things. Also some of the diapers and pads have rubber under them which further creates heat. And these Candida albicans love heat and moist at the same time. It helps them grow well. That why if there is an old table outside in the rain, after a while you see something growing under in the corner like mushrooms. The rain makes the wood of the table moist and later the sun creates the heat they need to grow there. So the blood or drops of urine is actually providing the moist it needs and in this case they are already there, they just need the right condition suitable for them to over grow and cause you to get white .
- [ ] Now to the last but not least is lacto bacilli 🦠. This is a bacteria that lives in places you find the Candida albicans in the body. So they are also in the v@g!na but they are good(yes we have good bacteria and bad bacteria) They produce an acid that helps check the fungi. This is why when you battle candidiasis for very long doctors tell you to take yoghurt. But you have to note that not every yoghurt can help rebuild your lacto bacilli. Unsweetened probiotic yogurt is your best bet when it comes to treating candidiasis through yoghurt. Another point is medication. Most people take antibiotics for candidiasis. Candidiasis is not caused by a bacteria so anti biotic won’t help you. It causes more harm than good. Anti biotic kills both the good and the bad bacteria and one of the good bacteria you need to treat your Candida is lacto bacilli and now you are killing it. Sometimes the anti biotic may not necessarily be for the Candida, may be you had a throat infection and you were given antibiotic, but after the infection is gone now you have candidiasis. It because the antibiotic killed both the good and bad bacteria. Some doctors would advice you to take probiotic yoghurt when taking any antibiotic.
- [ ] We would end todays lesson here. Tomorrow we would look at how to avoid and treat candidiasis. Don’t forget to follow my page for more. And you can get the best probiotic from Fi’s yogo .
- [ ] Until we meet again tomorrow, do stay safe and take care

24/06/2023

Good day mums. Please my son's bones are very weak. Especially when he sleeps and you hold him you will think something had happened to him but no. He's very active and walked at 1 year three months. He's two years now but still walks like someone who just started walking. His body is very soft and people fear to carry him because they think they might break him. I'm so scared especially when I wake up from sleep and try to hold him, as if there's no life in the bones but God forbids it. He looks healthy though.
Please mummies help me on what to and how to handle him properly. I'm a first time mum please .

The issue could be coming from his diet. He isn’t getting enough nutrients to support his growth.
Kids are not fully developed from the womb even when born at 9months especially the brain. The first 2 to 3 years are super critical in helping the brain and other parts of the body. In the first year they’d get that most of their nutritional needs from breastmilk, subsequent years depends on the food we feed them. Unfortunately some of us as parent run into issues where our little ones would only eat with a wrestle.
Tell you what, it somehow related to how we started solids with them after the breastfeeding.
Baby has been on breastmilk for early part of it years, now when it time for solids, we expect when we put the food they accept.
Yes some kids would accept but not all.
You leave your home country to a different country with different food and culture, it would definitely take you some time to settle in and get use to their food. So the first line of action is patience. You have to be very patient.
There is an article on how to start solids and help your baby like food on my page.
Now let’s see what you can do
Start it all over, like you are starting solids. Don’t concentrate on the banku and others. Concentrate on foods that is done with simple ingredients.
Start with koko , or mashed Kenkey blended with groundnuts. Then you can buy the cowbell milk powder and add. Don’t start giving him too much at a time to overwhelm him. Just a little. Then get his favorite biscuit. When he finishes it, he gets biscuits.
So withdraw all kinds of biscuits, ice creams or toffees he takes and make that as a reward. If he takes the food he gets the biscuit.
Another thing that helped me was feeding bottle
I would pour it in the feeding bottle and give it to the child
They like being independent, so by giving them the bottle you are telling them they can do it
So while running around and playing before I see it finished.
If you promise biscuit make sure you give, else they won’t take you serious
Now moving on, when you are eating yourself wash their hands and let them u join you. You can put the food on the floor and get them to sit like they are eating as well. While you are eating play with them, don’t let them feel you are going to feeding them, when they engulfed in the play you put a morsel in the mouth, because of the play they won’t realize what happened and before you know eat a few morsels have gone down.
Another trick is, get them to hold the spoon while you hold the tip on the spoon, then you both scoop the food together and put it in his mouth. I usually use the table spoon for that, it makes them feel big.
Head over to my page for women and mom health education
Virtual dr

23/06/2023

WHY SHOULD I NOT GIVE MY BABY WATER FOR A WHOLE SIX MONTHS?

About 60% of the adults body is water, while the baby has 78% of it body being water.
Yes
That means the baby has more water in its body compared to the adult.
What’s more, organs of the babies body are still undergoing development that means they are not fully capable.
Especially with the brain and the kidneys.
When a baby is born, and you remove all it hair, you would see some lines on the baby’s head
In some parts of Africa we say it an illness
Well that not an ailments. That is the bones of the skull. When a baby is born, those bones have not joined and become hard like that of the adult and the reason is so that the baby can pass through the birth canal “va**na”
That a topic for another day.
So One major reason you shouldn’t give your little champ water is that most of it body is already water and the organs are still developing so the last thing they ever want is any kind of pressure
When you give your baby water, you are giving the kidneys too much work, and when they can’t handle it, the water would end up in your baby’s blood diluting one very important thing that sustains us all called the electrolyte.
This would cause your baby’s brain to take more water than it needs and this would greatly affect your baby. Remember the skull has still not joined yet and become hard like that of an adult.

Reason no 2
The breast milk is a complete meal. When you start breastfeeding, the first milk that comes out is light and transparent. That is to quench your baby’s thirst, then after a while you would have a thicker one coming out.
This is why we are advised to be patient and feed the baby on one breast for a while before moving to the next breast else you would only be feeding your baby the first part of the milk which is water and this would cause your baby’s p**p to be green.
So in this case, the breast milk is already providing enough water for the baby for the first 6 months. If you feel your baby is thirsty, just breastfeed.

Reason no 3
Your baby has a very small tummy but a developing body that needs nutrients to support it growth every now and then
That is why they eat small but are hungry again in a short while.
Water has no nutrients, if you keep giving your baby of less than 6 months water, you are filling that small tummy with something that is not nutritious. Your baby would be full, Yes, but your baby would be lacking the essential nutrients it needs for growth which would lead to problems.

Let’s end here
Until I see you again
Thank you for reading

And please don’t forget to share to other groups to increase awareness
Stay Safe

22/06/2023

Michelle, the 7 year old who was r@ped and mur?dered by a loved one.
Am going to tell you this; you have to be careful who you leave your child with.
I was watching this series today on Discovery channel and the title was Breaking Homicide.
The whole story was about a little girl, named Michelle, 7 years old who was r***d and found murdered in the bush not far from her home.
So she left home to the play ground which is about 5 minutes from her house with her brothers and cousin. Her grandma’s house was so close to the play ground that she could see the playground from her window. Her grandmother could stand at the window and literally see everything that is going on in the playground where she had gone to play with her 2 brothers and cousin. Along the line her cousin said he wanted some candies. So her elder brother went with her cousin to get the candies which was 10 minutes away from the playground. That leaves her with her younger brother in the playground. After some minutes he also leaves to their grandma leaving only Michelle in the play ground.
But that wasn’t anything alarming because his grandmother could literally see everything from her window and this is a safe neighborhood we are talking about where everybody knew everybody.
So when her younger brother gets to grandma she asks where Michelle was and he said Michelle was still in the playground. So grandmother leaves immediately to go bring Michelle. But when she gets to the playground Michelle was nowhere to be found. Her elder brother also comes back from buying candy and he also said he didn’t see Michelle when he was asked. All this disappearance happened in approximately ten minutes.
Her family is very scared now so they start searching for her frantically in the neighborhood and since it was a small community all the neighbors joined in her search. After a while she was reported missing to the police. After two days of vigorous search she was found in the bush not far from her house, assa?ulted and murd?ered.
That was a scary sight that shook the whole community. It was first of it kind to happen in that neighborhood.
Now the investigation is on for her murd?erer.
Along the investigation they found out her father had come to pick her up within that short time frame of 10minutes when she was alone in the playground.
He took her with him in his car to go buy candies. Her parents were not together but they lived in the same neighborhood.
According to him when he dropped her off he told her to go inside the house (grandma’s house) but her attention was on her best friend Tammy who was standing with her dad.
But grandma said she didn’t see Michelle. Was her father lying? Did he know more?
Before I conclude on her father, who was Tammy. Tammy was Michelle’s best friend, they were classmates and their mothers were friends. They were so close that they could spend days at each other’s house.
But who was Tammy’s father? According to Michelle’s father, Tammy was with her father in front of their house when he dropped Michelle in front of grandma’s house.
So that means the last people to have seen Michelle before her brutal de@th was Michelle’s father, Tammy’s father and Tammy.
Among these three who was the killer. Tammy was also 7 just like Michelle, and she was a female without p3niz to r**e. And could a 7 years old stra~ngle another 7 years old to de@th. So Tammy was ruled out. That leaves us with two men.
Michelle’s father was a known alco-holic.
Let’s get into Tammy’s father’s profile. His wife described him as the most loving man before marriage but after marriage he changed. He beat her and r@pe her. Unknown to her he was doing same to his daughter, Tammy.
During the investigation, Tammy said 24 hours after Michelle went missing she was driving with her dad and he pointed in the bushes where she was later found and sarcastically said what if she is just lying there.
He started ass@lting Tammy when she was just 5 years and he would threaten to kill the whole family if she spoke up.
Tammy said once when Michelle had visited them he was caressing Michelle’s hair and rubbing his hands on her back while she Tammy was in the bathroom. When she came out and saw that she immediately rushed and pulled Michelle away from him but Michelle didn’t understand her actions. As they were kids they continued playing.
Tammy’s father was jobless then, so he’d always stay at home while Tammy’s mother went to work and that made the worse.
Now before I conclude on this story, let me ask you a series of questions?
How well do you know your child’s friend/ friends/ best friends
How well do you know their parents
What is their family values
Apart from talking to your child, are you observing other things like how he or she reacts around certain people?
Do you check their panties for anything unusual?
Do you observe any unusual behavior or sudden behavioral change?
The list goes on and on
As a parent, your job is never done. I know we can’t do all, but let’s give them the utmost protection we can.
If your child is fond of certain adults, read on between the lines.
Pedophil3s have a nice way of connecting to children such that you would never suspect them.
Our boys are not left out, this can happen to either a boy or a girl.
Ask your little ones questions and be involved in their lives.
Back to our story, all evidences are pointing to Tammy’s father but guess what he is still roaming the streets free.
This event took place in the 80s where there was no DNAs. A little boy in that community kept this in his mind and he is now a police officer. He vividly remembers everything and decides to reopen the case. When they searched for Tammy’s criminal record, he has more than 10 cases plus other crimes.
The question is all these decades that he was roaming for free how many more has he done what he did to Michelle to.
Now that little boy who’s turned a police officer is taking up the case.
My dear people, let’s keep our little ones safe. That monster could be your neighbor, uncle or even spouse. Be your child’s keeper!!!