Karen Dyer - The Serenity Coach

19/08/2022

I am terrible with plants, so this made me laugh! 🤣 I can kill cacti. 🫣 Anyone else or is it just me?!

This also makes a great coaching point too (I love things that can be seen in multiple ways!). Here the same event (plant dying) is seen from two different perspectives (her fault or the plants fault?).

Everything in life can be seen from different perspectives - hence a world full of differing opinions! The perspective you choose makes a difference to how you feel and react to things, so gaining a new perspective on something can help shift you when you are stuck in an unhelpful pattern.

What is annoying or frustrating you right now? Share below and I’ll help you find an alternative perspective. 💜

18/08/2022

You are human. I am human. You are good enough just as you are. I am good enough just as I am. 💜🙌🏻

TO THE WOMAN WHO THINKS SHE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH

To the woman who looks around and wonders why everyone else is so much more capable, so much stronger, so much more ambitious than her.
To the woman who thinks everyone else is blazing a fiery path through this thing we call life, while she limps behind, barely getting through the days.
Somewhere, another woman is looking at you thinking exactly the same.
You see, we all look like we’re kinda nailing it, from the outside in.
We all look ‘together’ sometimes.
Catch us on the right day and hey, we look like we have it all.
Because guess what, we learned to look that way a long time ago.
We learned to hide our struggles behind a smile and whack on that mask every day.
And actually, we are doing each other a favour when we show up,
just as we are,
warts and all,
late,
flustered,
human.
What we really need to see is that we are all the same.
We all struggle.
We all fall apart.
Some days we nail it, other days we get nailed.
By hiding our own weaknesses, fears, worries, we give them more power.
If you let it out, shine a light on it all, it becomes so much less scary, funny even…
And goodness only knows we need to laugh.
So, to the woman who wonders if she is good enough…
If this is you.
Yes you are.
You always were.
You don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectation of how you should be coping.
You are human, flawed, wonderful, miraculous, loveable, loved.
I see you,
Now do me a favour and go see all the others too.
Spread the word, we are good enough, just as we are.

Donna Ashworth
From ‘to the women’: https://www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabt1...

Image: hollywilmeth

16/08/2022

A loving little truth bomb for you this morning. 💜💣

Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’. ~ Eckhart Tolle

I was really reminded of this on a recent road trip. It was a long journey and I was sitting in the back of the car with my two kids. It was hot, we were all squished together making each other hotter. The journey was about 5 hours. The kids got bored. We all got tired, grumpy and just wanted to be there already.

Our unhappiness was caused by our desire to be at our destination already but the reality was that we weren’t there yet. We were ‘here’ not ‘there’. To try and enjoy ’here’ we made stops to stretch our legs and get a cold drink. I broke out the sweets. We put on some videos and audiobooks. 😅

This kind of stress can arise daily in small ways or big ways:

- at work when a deadline is looming and the task isn’t finished…

- when you want to be in a relationship but you haven’t met the right person yet…

- when you are trying for a baby and haven’t been successful yet…

- when you asked for a milky tea and got a builders brew! 🤣

Multiple times a day there is a ‘there’ that you are wanting and your reality (‘here’) doesn’t match up and that causes suffering. When you start to create awareness around it you can choose to be ‘here’ and let go of the suffering.

If you are struggling reach out or join my free group and let’s start to shift this together. 💜

02/08/2022

Are you feeling exhausted? If so, check what you are placing your time and energy on. Is it on things that are actually in your control?

It is very easy to expend a lot of energy on things we can’t control and end up totally wiped out and no better off.

Accept the things you can’t change and put your time and energy into the things you can do something about. 💜

If you are struggling with this, then reach out as I have some coaching spaces available.

01/08/2022

As we start a new week, let’s be compassionate with ourselves and others.

And if I can remember what I walked into a room for I’d be really grateful. 🤣 Anyone else have that problem? Sometimes I do the ‘hokey cokey’ and go in and out a few times before I actually get what I wanted. 🙈

16/07/2022

How connected are you?

I am away for the weekend catching up with friends and our lodge is in a field full of sheep. Watching and hearing them connecting with each other, as I reconnect with friends I’ve not seen for a while, has me thinking how important connection is.

One of our key drivers it to be in community - we need connection to thrive. But anxiety drives us into separateness - when I was in the grip of anxiety I was constantly in fear of not being liked, saying or doing the wrong thing, of going places I didn’t know. I’d end up cancelling plans because the anxiety around going was too much. I became very isolated and lonely and depressed.

That fear based voice in my head isolated me from the very thing I needed for my well-being. It told me there was something wrong with me and I wouldn’t be accepted. If you are struggling with anxiety and feeling alone, please reach out. I get it. You are not alone. 💜

The truth is you are not broken, you’ve just become disconnected from who you really are. That voice in your head lies and exaggerates. It does that to protect you but when it goes into overdrive it ends up hurting you. We can bring it back into balance.

So just for today, how can you create connection? Text or call a friend. Or meet someone for a walk. Or if peopling seems too hard right now, get out for a walk in nature or do some gardening. Cuddle a pet. 💜

What are your favourite ways of connecting? Share in the comments, I’d love to know.

14/07/2022

It's time to start believing...✨💜✨💜

11/07/2022

Are you feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed? If you are, I want you to know you are not alone. I have felt all of those things at one time or another.

In my twenties, the feeling of anxiety was so out of control that I would have full-blown panic attacks (including one in the middle of a shopping centre in Reading). The charity Mind reports that 1 in 4 people experience a mental health problem each year!

I've come to realise that stress, anxiety and overwhelm are actually just the mind going into hyperdrive. My over-thinking resulted in my over-feeling. Do you ever notice yourself over-thinking?

I meditate regularly now because I notice when I meditate, my thoughts slow down. When I am experiencing peace, my thoughts are calmer - there are less of them and they move slower.

When I am focused and engaged in activity my thoughts are a bit faster and there are more of them but they are coherent and usually helpful. If I am feeling stressed, my thoughts are moving fast and often there are conflicting thoughts (it can become a bit of a mental argument - 'do this', 'no, do that').

When I was very anxious my thoughts would be going even faster. I'd start worrying about the thoughts I was having about the thing I was worrying about. 🤯 It would get very chaotic in my head. It would feel like I was spiralling out of control and I'd end up unable to function. I can see now that I would get caught up in my thinking and even start over-thinking about my thinking (which is when I'd end up having a panic attack).

It would feel like my thoughts were spinning faster and faster and my breathing would get faster and faster until I felt like I couldn't breathe. My heart would race and pound so hard it felt like it was going to come out of my chest. I honestly felt like I was going to die in those There was simply too much thinking going on. Like a computer with too many applications open can struggle to process everything and might even crash or freeze. Have you ever reached that point?

This is why mindfulness practices can be so helpful for stress, anxiety and overwhelm. You can learn to slow down your mind, to be more aware of your thoughts and most importantly - detach from your thoughts (you are NOT your thoughts). Learning to step out of the whirlpool of thoughts is really powerful.

If you would like some support with over-thinking, stress, anxiety or overwhelm - then drop me a message and come and join my free group. I'll be there to support you. 💜

08/07/2022

In the simplest terms, anxiety is just a case of severe over-thinking. You get caught up in your mind and the more you try to think your way out of it, the more it snowballs.

To break free you need to come out of your mind and back into your body. Focus on your breathing, or go for a walk and focus on the feel of your feet on the ground. Anything to come out of the mind and back to the present moment.

What are you favourite ways to get out of your head?

Share them below - it might help someone else and you might get some new inspiration.

04/07/2022

I'm really looking forward to being a guest speaker at this fabulous event hosted by Nina Kundi Coaching. It's taking place online on Sunday 24th July at 3pm (UK time). We will be covering:

- how to love yourself whole heartedly
- how to communicate your wants and needs effectively without causing drama or conflict
- how to practice mindfulness to help ease anxiety and find inner peace
- building a healthy relationship to money
- creating a health regime to help you feel energised and alert

All this for the bargain price of $47! Link to join us is in the comments.

Hope to see you there. 🥰

03/07/2022

Happy Sunday everyone. It is important to make time for yourself and your needs, especially if you take care of others. Remember - you can't pour from an empty cup!

Today I am going to spend a little time meditating and sitting quietly with a cup of tea reading a book. 🧘‍♀️☕️📖

How are you going to fill your cup?