08/04/2020
I heard about an old/ new cognitive therapy called, REBT, which stands for Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy.
Below are some of the things it recommends:
it’s not about digging through your childhood, blaming your parents, or talking about your missed opportunities.
It’s actually about putting some of our beliefs under the microscope and seeing just how realistic they are.
I thought, that makes sense when it comes to NOT getting freaked out,but keeping a cool head.
Now I’m no therapist, so my observations are only that, whilst they are from my experience gained in the school of hard knocks they are none the less observations, not therapeutic advice.
But I liked a couple of the things I read and can see how they might help when our minds go racing out of control and we’re paralyzed by fear.
OK, I’ll just grab a couple of things for your perusal.
First, one of my made up concepts is called “AWFULIZING”. That’s when we allow ourselves believe it’s the end of the world as we know it. “Predicting the most catastrophic outcome in every circumstance”.
It’s what we sometimes do when things are like they are now in the world. We find it
a wee bit “challenging.”
Sound familiar?
It’s easy to get caught in the hysteria and start thinking that EVERYTHING is awful.
And what is the remedy?
First, you STOP... and take a minute to write down a misbelief like, “I’m going to be left on my own, can’t pay my rent/mortgage, broke, suffering, and on the street by next week!”
This already helps because it interrupts the cycle of worry and panic.
Sometimes just seeing it on paper, instead of swirling around in your head, makes the awfulness seem ridiculous.
Then you question and confront the belief: “Do I actually KNOW that’s going to happen? What are the chances?” The chances are virtually zero. In most cases it never happens over 90% of the time.
This is how one word can also change our emotional reaction.
So when you’re in the poor me/I place thinking, “I can’t stand what’s going on. I hate it... hate it... hate it.”
Instead, use the word PREFER.
It’s weird how that simple shift can relieve some of the internal pressure.
For example, “I’d PREFER that I didn’t have to make changes in where I live. But I do, so what’s the best way to go about it?”
It’s a much better approach than being tied in knots, tearing your hair out, or playing the ostrich and hiding your head in the sand.
There’s another strategy you can use. That’s to have a PLAN and put that plan into action. Create your plan today not tomorrow.
