12/02/2020
FEAR. It's what stops us in our tracks. Stops us from asking for what we really want. For reaching for what we really want. So many fears but it's interesting just how many we have in common... fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of success, fear of the unknown... the list goes on. Where do these fears come from???? Deep inside our unconscious usually before we are 7 we create these rules about life, we learn how to stay SAFE to SURVIVE. What equals SAFE to an under 7 year old? Love, approval, connection to the people who feed us, clothe us and keep us warm, dry and healthy. The people who keep us alive. This is our family usually if we are lucky enough to have one. So we follow their rules in order to secure these things, in order to SURVIVE.
But what happens when we grow up and have to provide all these things for ourselves and others around us if we start our own family? We superimpose these rules and values on to the world believing as the 7 year old did that we need LOVE and APPROVAL from OTHERS (who we assume are all just like our family). No one really teaches us how to give this stuff to OURSELVES. A lot of self-help gurus etc preach self love. Love yourself first. Give yourself the approval you need. Just do it. God I wish it was that simple. Just a decision, but it's not. We have been running these programs ALL our life.
When I looked in the mirror (as instructed by so many gurus) and said I love you I love you I love you, all it used to do was make me cry or bring on an onslaught of abuse... you do not, look at your nostrils flaring, yuck your eyebrows suck, I wish my b***s were bigger, your so emotional, f**k you look ugly when you cry, I wish I could feel love for myself, omg how am I going to teach my kids to love themselves, I bet they don't even feel loved by me, omfg I'm a bad mother... you get the drift.
But then I found a way to stop this negative s**t. A way to truly install this feeling of love for yourself or more like give you an unshakeable feeling of being loved. It wasn't what I was aiming for it was an awesome side effect of getting rid of all the other fears (rejection, judgement, failure, success, the unknown) Now when I look in the mirror and say I love you its kinda funny cause I don't even feel like I need to say it... the head chatter is just "of course I love you Catt, why wouldn't I" and I laugh. There are no tears. There is just peace. I don't pick myself apart. And the can I feel the fears of rejection, judgement, failure, success, the unknown... nope just peace. Creatrix® saved my sanity. I really f**king love myself now, and I'm sooooo excited about how this has changed my life already. And I can't wait to share this with as many women as I can reach. Would you like to be one of them?