04/06/2022
I have bipolar disorder so, mental health awareness means a lot to me! It is a battle that I fight every single day of my life! Some days I don't know how I'm going to make it but I do. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get out of bed but I do. I have constant depression that weighs me down and anxiety that makes my mind race and worry constantly. The worst part is being depressed and not even knowing why. That's the thing about depression. You don't have to have a reason to feel that way. My moods are constantly up and down. That's why it's called a mental illness because it's something in our minds that we cannot help and it makes us sick. It can prevent us from living our daily lives like we should be able to. Luckily, I have medication that helps me throughout the day but that doesn't mean it stops it because it doesn't. It just helps you to be able to function as best as you can. Without God, I don't know what I would do. There have been so many days where I didn't know how much longer I could go on but God said just hold on and stay strong and look at that beautiful little girl you have created because she loves you and needs you more than anything! I know I need her more than anything bc she is what keeps me going each and every day! My daughter understands that Mama isn't the same as other Mommies and that I have a hard time sometimes going outside with her to play like she wants to so on those days, we stay inside and watch videos on YouTube, watch movies, color and draw and whatever else I'm able to do that day. On the good days, we go outside and do what she wants and we play fetch with Ella. She knows I love her more than anything in this world and that this is just the way I was born. My husband helps a lot as well especially with her because there are days where I can barely get out of the bed and I need time to myself and sometimes I have a hard time being around other people. Just even going to the store takes so much out of me. It's like I feel drained from trying so hard to do everything that needs to be done. It can be overwhelming at times especially whenever your disorder will not allow you to do the things you need to do and have to do every day. Thank God I have family to help me through each and every day! I could go on and on. I could probably write a book on it lol but, this is my story and I just want you all to know that you are all not alone! Mental illness is real and needs to be talked about. Do not be embarrassed because I'm not. I know it's something that I can't control. So, if there is anyone out there who needs to talk about your illness or depression, just PM me! If anyone can relate, it's me. It's good to know that you're not alone. 💗😊
