knowing_the_narcissist_

30/04/2025

Narcissists do not look for people like them.

They search for the opposite.

They choose people who glow — people with real hearts, real emotions, real light.
They attach themselves to souls full of kindness, empathy, and life.

They want a mirror that reflects everything they lack.
They want your spirit to cover their emptiness.
They want your strength to hide their weakness.
They want your loyalty to distract from their lies.

At first, it feels like love.
It feels like finally being seen, valued, wanted.
They know exactly what to say to pull you in.
They know how to make you feel chosen, like you were the answer they always needed.
They study your heart, your habits, your hopes to mirror what they cannot build on their own.
They create a bond that looks real but feeds only their ego and image.

The truth shows up when you start seeing through the mask.
When you stop reflecting only what flatters them.
When you catch the lies hidden in sweet words.
When you recognize that what you gave came from the heart, but what you received came from a need to survive, not a need to love.

Once you see them clearly, your love feels dangerous to them.
Your honesty feels like a threat.
Your boundaries feel like an attack.

They twist your words.
They label your emotions as weakness.
They turn your care into a weapon against you.
Because once you see the truth, you cannot unseen it. And they lose control.

Narcissists refuse to stand in front of a mirror that shows their emptiness.
They break it instead.
They rewrite the story with you as the villain.
They turn admiration into resentment.
They turn love into blame.
They shift every failure onto you and walk away feeling justified.

The hardest truth?
They do not miss you.
They miss the way you made them feel powerful without earning it.
They miss the attention you gave without questioning it.
They miss the forgiveness you offered without demanding change.
They miss the steady supply of praise, patience, loyalty, and emotional labor you carried on your back.
They miss the comfort of knowing someone would always believe their best excuses.
They miss the access to your energy, your kindness, your ability to heal what they kept breaking.
They miss the reflection of your light shining on them — because without you, the mask slips and the emptiness shows.

Healing from this means accepting the love you needed never lived inside them.
It means trusting your own heart again, even after they tried to make you doubt it.
It means setting boundaries so strong that no apology, no guilt trip, no sweet words can break them.
It means loving yourself so fully that no one ever uses your kindness as a place to hide their damage.

It means choosing peace every time, even when a part of you still aches for the version of them your hope imagined — not the reality they eventually revealed.

04/02/2025

When you're in a relationship with a narcissist, there will always be another secret life going on behind your back.

This is because these people are very empty, and they need stimulation from multiple sources just to face existence. They'll be doing drugs or po*******hy. They'll be stringing multiple partners through flirting and emotional affairs. They will be chasing financial intrigue that occasionally gets them into scams and trouble.

The reason they must flirt with other people is also because they're seeking to move on to other people who don't know the games they play.

They know they'll get bored with you eventually, or you'll learn to resist their shenanigans. And since being alone would kill them, they begin to groom possible replacements among anyone whom they can charm.

You'll also notice this habit of making promises to you and then using those promises as a dangling carrot to get compliance from you. If you don't do what they want, they'll withdraw the promise.

Sometimes, they'll deny having promised at all, or they postpone it until you give up. The truth is that they never intended to fulfill it in the first place.

Narcissists have lost all sense of right and wrong. Everything is about satisfying themselves.

When you finally leave, they'll circle back to you, pretending to be checking on you when actually they're checking if they still have access.

If you have a child with them, they would weaponise that child to torture you until you cut them off totally or you manage to enforce boundaries with the help of the law.

But the child will be scarred or wasted by the counter parenting and objectification from the narcissist.

Society knows very little about narcissists.

Sometimes, you stay because you fear the pain of letting go until you realize the pain you're already taking for holding on.

Other times, you think you're staying for the children until you realize that the narcissist is turning all of them into other small narcissists and broken empaths.

Your solution is to recognize that this person is incapable of peace. They're only excellent at pretending and confusing you.

You will never have a life until you detach from them and direct your life towards wholeness and emotional stability.

14/10/2024

18/09/2024