09/04/2025
It's a joke in my circle of friends that I'm the only one without childhood trauma.
And people always want to know, HOW?! What did my parents do?? Here's a summary-
1. They're nice. They cared about what we cared about, made time to hang out with us, made us constantly feel like we mattered to them.
2. They're respectful. We've always been allowed to ask questions, push back, and be honest. We got explanations for rules and consequences and never walked on egg shells.
3. They're loving. Their words and actions communicated constantly that nothing we could do would make them love us less. That meant we were open to asking for help, sharing hard things, and alking about things our friends would never mention to their parents.
4. They're encouraging. Expectations were high, but it was also always clear that they were going to do everything in their power to help us succeed. And they did. (Financial privilege plays a role here).
5. They're humans. They yelled, lost their cool, fought with each other. They modeled open communication, validated feelings, showed by example what it means to apologize and mean it.
No one's childhood is perfect, just like no child is perfect. But I don't think it's an accident that my siblings and I are super close, close with our parents and in healthy relationships. The big secret is pretty simple- kindness, love, acceptance, respect, and logical rules and consequences.
