03/10/2024
*Sensitive post warning*
“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.” - Chinese Proverb
10 years ago I took my first step on my pink journey. I was 35 years young and vividly recall going to the wayyyyy end of my worry when my first mammogram showed significant findings. I turned to my tribe and they reassured me that this was all a part of the process. I had my first biopsy and EXHALE it was a tiny benign annoyance whose only trace left was a little metal marker. A few years passed quickly, as they do, when another mammogram showed significant findings once again. Naturally I went all the way to the end of my worry for the second time, but my tribe rallied with support and reassurance. Once again a BIG EXHALE when benign results came back. I was now a proud carrier of 2 little metal markers as reminders of my cancer free status. My moments of exhale.
As expected, time flew by and even more years passed bringing me to May of 2024. This past May I had my yearly routine mammogram. I remember the day the letter came in the mail stating “no significant findings.” I read the line over and over again seeking a feeling of relief, but all I could feel was the opposite. I could literally hear my intuition screaming at me NO, NO, NO. So I called my primary, got the appointments in motion that led me back to my breast surgeon and she immediately saw what my intuition knew, the little annoyances had returned and they had multiplied. UGH right?! So with deep breaths while holding the hand of my love, off we went to the hospital for my double biopsy. I was admittedly confident, just rolling in with my “same old thing” energy, but this time it wasn’t that simple. My biopsies showed concern and quickly a lumpectomy was scheduled. The weeks that followed were a bit of a blur - a mix of emotion, fear, education as well as so much damn processing. SO MUCH DAMN PROCESSING.
Fast forward to today and I have met with many remarkably dedicated physicians, each focused on their specialty, each kind and supportive, each aware of how scary this journey can be. I have spent endless hours doing research, hearing from others who have experienced a breast cancer diagnosis as well as taking time to listen to my good ol’ friend intuition.
These connections on my journey have led me to acceptance of my next steps on my pink journey, a bilateral mastectomy surgery. Whoa, I know. But here’s the thing, I am no longer at the end of the worry, I am grateful. Truly and utterly grateful. Grateful for preventative care. Grateful for early detection. Grateful for the education of my physicians. Grateful for my tribe, my boys, my Liv, my love G. Grateful for my parents living close by. Grateful for my sisters tough love and modeling of such strength. Grateful for my health insurance. Grateful for FMLA. Grateful for my staff and co-teachers. Grateful for the check in texts, the calls, the prayers. All of it, so damn grateful.
So although I am scared, although I am overwhelmed, although I am unsure what the path ahead will look like, I must keep on stepping.
So thank you for stepping along with me and for holding me and my boys in your thoughts and prayers.
I know many beautiful humans have asked how they can help. Prayers are the priority, so please keep them coming. I have also created a page where you can follow my journey:
Help ensure no one goes through a health journey alone.
