04/03/2024
EN: Today we will start talking about our inner saboteurs.
We all want success! We all want a successful life, a successful relationship, a successful career, or at least success in a passion or hobby, for example in dancing. But many of us may never achieve success, no matter how much we want it and no matter how much effort we put into it. Why does this happen? It’s because of our own inner saboteurs. One of them and perhaps the most important is trauma.
I talked about traumas in my previous articles and you probably already know how many negative effects they can produce in the human psyche. But how do traumas manage to sabotage our success? Depending on the effects they have on our psyche, that is how sabotage occurs.
We observe the following phenomenon around us: two different people go through similar traumatic events, but one is traumatized and shows symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or various responses to trauma, while the other does not and is actually really well. Or one is deeply marked by suffering, while the other suffers less and gets over that event easier. What is different about these two people? It’s their own psyche, more precisely the perception, the interpretation that each person has of that event.
Well then how does trauma, or an event with a negative impact on us, manage to sabotage us? Here are some examples: it changes our perception of people generally and makes us see enemies and dangers everywhere, getting to be always on guard and always ready for a possible attack, always ready to fight back, to defend ourselves from those around us, no longer able to distinguish good and benevolent people from evil ones, being always skeptical when someone behaves nicely to us. Or it changes our perception of ourselves and makes us believe that we are small and helpless, that we deserve to suffer, that we have no escape, that we have no choice but to suffer, that we are captive victims in our own lives. Or it changes our perception about love and relationships and we come to believe that love always comes with suffering, that love hurts, that we are never truly loved, that people of the opposite s*x are not trustworthy or that you cannot rely on them, or that in relationships you have to make a lot of effort to be offered a little love, if you are offered any at all, etc. And the examples can continue. What do we observe in each of these cases? We notice that the problem is not the traumatic event itself, but our own perception, our own interpretation of it. As a result of this interpretation, we adopt certain attitudes and do certain actions that result in sabotaging our success in relationships, at work, in our health, etc. So sabotaging our own success comes from within us, from our own thoughts and beliefs that we have acquired as a result of trauma.
On the other hand, sometimes after the trauma we remain stuck in the past, in that suffering, unable to overcome it because of its strong negative impact, such as the loss of a loved one. Other times we remain stuck in the feeling of hatred and in the desire for revenge against the attacker, for example in the case of r**e. Sometimes we may have caused another person's suffering or we did not take a stand to protect them and we remain stuck in the feeling of guilt or shame. Here the blockage is essentially emotional and again sabotages our present and future and does not allow us to continue living our lives.
If you notice such negative emotional or mental patterns in your life, write me a message and I will gladly help you free yourself from them in individual coaching sessions. Stop postponing your happiness and fulfillment! Heal yourself starting today in order to have the success you want in your life!
Coach Florina Szasz
