OCD Ottawa (2026)

01/04/2026

Progress is often based on our pre-conceived notions of what success looks like, which means it is innately subjective. For some, it may mean getting a job promotion and working extra hard every day until that is achieved. For others, it is having a child and raising them well. Both are valid goals but given that our resources are limited, we have to choose which goals we can realistically achieve at a given time. In addition, when we face barriers to our goals, we often must learn to accept that there is more to life than being productive (whatever that looks like to you). It doesn’t make you less of a person because today you decided to rest instead of work. In fact, chances are that no one really cares whether you have made progress or not! Most of the pressure is internal. When you begin to realize this, it can help to relieve anxiety about the future (or lack of progress in the present). Instead, you can live for today, check a couple of things off your list, and be satisfied with that. It’s a much more peaceful way to live.

22/03/2026

Community is a powerful thing 🤝

Joining a peer support group can help you feel less alone, connect with people who truly understand your experiences, learn helpful coping strategies, and find encouragement in a supportive space.

OCD Ottawa offers free virtual support groups for individuals with OCD.

Check the link in bio for more information.

Source: https://theocdclinics.com/benefits-of-ocd-support-groups/

04/03/2026

Sometimes, it can feel like we have multiple versions of ourselves (or “parts”) that are constantly warring. There’s typically a rational one, telling us to have more self-control, and another, telling us to just treat ourselves. The problem is that if we listen too much to one or the other, we will become unhappy. For example, if we never buy ourselves anything nice or spend on an experience, we will live a limited life. However, if we got into debt because we indulge all of our whims, we will also end up regretting our decisions. Striking that balance is hard, and the critic often likes to get involved when we follow our impulses. Learning to be OK with the critic’s presence, but not taking them too seriously, is a key aspect of living a fulfilled life - a life filled with some indulgence.

04/02/2026

Trying to ease anxiety in the moment may feel like the ultimate solution, but recognizing that it is only an illusion is critical to recovery. When you are in the middle of an OCD episode, it can feel like you HAVE to fix this thing NOW or ELSE. But when you step back and think of all the times you felt like this and “fixed” it (with a compulsion or an action) and it still came back, you will realize it wasn’t a true fix.

Put metaphorically, OCD is like seeing the world through a microscope. You may see an issue up close and it looks big, but when you back away you’ll notice that it is a lot smaller than you realized. That’s because the equipment (i.e. your mind) was giving you such an unrealistic view of the situation.

07/01/2026

It is typical to feel like a new year is a fresh start and to want to make the most of this opportunity. However, it is important to set realistic goals and take it slow. Having OCD can make it feel like everything is urgent and needs to be dealt with right away. Giving space to relax and unwind, while still having something to work towards, is the ultimate balance. It’s hard to achieve, but burn out is even harder - so give yourself a break. Plus, you may feel like you're lazy for taking the first couple of weeks of January to get oriented after the Christmas holidays; however, that is very normal! You can’t just jump from relaxing to working hard, so just take it one step at a time. Having goals is fine, but letting the achievement of those goals define your success as an individual is a recipe for disaster. As usual, self-compassion is a daily practice and that’s the one you shouldn’t slack off on.

24/09/2025

For a long time, I thought that the way to self-compassion was silencing the critic. Even though I didn’t realize it, I was also criticizing the critic for being too critical, as though that would solve my problems (it didn’t). The critic is actually trying to protect you, she’s just doing a really bad job of it. For example, if you have ever made a mistake, the critic may jump in and say “Hey! Don’t do that again. What were you thinking?” The critic doesn’t want you to have pain, and therefore thinks that she is helping you even though she is just compounding the problem.

Dealing with this dynamic is tricky because you want to be firm with the critic while also having compassion for her. One way to do this is to distance the Self from the critic. The Self is who you are authentically; she is curious, creative, and confident. She can handle life’s challenges, but the critic doesn’t realize it, which is why she steps in to protect you. By moving towards the Self, you are prioritizing your own voice over the critic and you are giving yourself an opportunity to be curious about why the critic feels so triggered in this moment. Often, it is about a wound that has been re-opened.

By changing your perspective, you will notice it is much easier to have self-compassion. Now, you are having compassion for a part of you, rather than forcing yourself to “love yourself,” whatever that means. You aren’t crushing the critic, you are empathizing with her (and therefore with yourself), and that makes all the difference. You are firm but loving, just like a good parent. That’s an important first step to treating OCD and many other mental health issues.

10/09/2025

Compulsions are what we often call “firefighters” or “managers” in Internal Family Systems. When an exile gets triggered, the Anxious part goes into overdrive, overwhelming the body and mind. As a result, we often react by trying to fix this feeling immediately, which is the job of the firefighter. This is what we refer to as a compulsion in exposure and response prevention. For example, if you are feeling really anxious and as a result start ruminating, checking, or excessively cleaning, this is your firefighter trying to get you back to homeostasis.

Managers have a similar goal to firefighters, in that they want to keep you safe from the intense emotions of your exiles. However, they take a more “socially appropriate” approach. They are proactive, constantly trying to predict situations in which our exiles may be triggered. Managers are parentified children, tired and stressed out from trying to keep us in control. They are trying to keep our exiles safe and contained so we don’t have to feel their emotions, but as a result, we often feel numb and closed off. Whether it’s a firefighter or a manager, the key is to unburden the exiles of their feelings of shame and sadness, so that these protectors don’t feel the need to step in and protect us from them.

This concludes the 4-part series on IFS. The take-home message is that our minds are much more complex than we believe. We have parts that form the building blocks of who we are, and yet hold fundamentally different beliefs, motivations and desires than the Self. Have you ever felt like you were having an internal argument? That is a sign that two opposing parts, often a firefighter and a manager, have been activated. While this is confusing at first, it begins to make total sense once you befriend and understand these parts. They also become less scary because they are no longer strangers.

Inspired by:
No Bad Parts
Richard C. Schwartz

27/08/2025

So far, we have covered the Self, the Critical part, and the Anxious part. Now, I will discuss exiles. Exiles are the deepest, most critical parts of our minds, and are the root cause of many of our personal issues. They are also vulnerable and most often present in the our childlike form. An exile is created when we are forced to repress an emotion or a behaviour, often in a way that makes us feel ashamed. For example, perhaps as a child you were told not to cry, so you exiled the part of you that felt sadness, because you identify that feeling with shame. When you feel sad as an adult, a protector comes in (maybe the Critic), telling you that you need to toughen up. She (the Critic) is trying to protect you from the exiled part, who is stuck in time as a child. Your parts don’t realize you are an adult and you can be Self-led and appropriately manage your emotions, so they feel the need to protect you. The problem is that exiles have a way of coming out when you are feeling tired or vulnerable, and since they have been ignored for so long, they often manifest in an extreme emotion or behaviour.

The deepest part of Internal Family Systems (IFS) work is getting the Self to interact with the exile and tell this part there is nothing wrong with her. She is accepted and loved, just like all the other parts. Other parts will try to protect you from the exile. For example, the Critic may jump in and tell you to stay away from the exile because she is weak. You can gently tell the Critic to step aside and trust you, but most likely you will need to first spend some time with the Critic and get to know her before trying to help your exiles. While it can feel intuitive to speak directly with the exiles, if you do not take the time to understand the protector parts, they will lash out at you for taking such a “risk.” So the idea behind IFS is to be patient with all your parts and understand their dynamic. Just like a family, your parts have played roles for many years that they will not easily give up, so take your time.

Inspired by:
No Bad Parts
Richard C. Schwartz

13/08/2025

You may be wondering whether all parts are as burdened as the parts mentioned in the last post. The answer is: no. The Self is a unique part because it is the essence of YOU. It is marked by 8 qualities:

“The Eight Cs of Self Energy and Self-Leadership
•Curiosity
•Calm
•Confidence
•Compassion
•Creativity
•Clarity
•Courage
•Connectedness”

When you feel any of these qualities emerge, you are channeling the Self. Often, the Self starts off with curiosity and then expands, though it is rare to feel all 8 at the same time. Your parts often try to blend with the Self, which is why you may think that you are the Anxious part at times. The great thing is that all of these qualities are innate, which means we don’t have to work to be compassionate or curious. That being said, it does take work to distinguish the parts from the Self, since parts have been making you believe they are the Self for so long. This is the work that is done with an IFS therapist.

“The Self says no to impulsive parts firmly but from a place of love and patience, in just the same way an ideal parent would. Additionally, in IFS, when parts do take over, we don’t shame them. Instead, we get curious and use the part’s impulse as a trailhead to find what is driving it that needs to be healed.”

Excerpts From
No Bad Parts
Richard C. Schwartz

30/07/2025

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a type of therapy that can be used to treat OCD and other mental health issues. In this four part series, I will describe some of the things I have learned while applying IFS to my daily life. As someone with OCD, I have found that it is a great way to complement exposure and response prevention (ERP) and develop more self-compassion. Internal Family Systems therapy is based on the idea that we do not have one unique mind, but rather that our minds are comprised of parts that have separate (and often extreme) beliefs. These parts have their own personalities and characteristics, and just like a dysfunctional family, they tend to argue amongst themselves, as well as defend or criticize each other. In sum: It’s a little chaotic. But once you get to know these parts and understand their motives, you can begin to empathize with them. This leads you to have more self-compassion, which is the root of any good therapy.

To begin, let’s talk about two common parts: The Anxious part and the Critic. The Anxious part catastrophizes and tells you something very bad will happen if you don’t do something (quick)! It also is very afraid of the Critic, who will chastise you if you do not perform perfectly. When something goes wrong, the critic jumps in, yelling in your ear just how badly you did and how you could’ve done better. The Anxious part tries to protect you from that part, but as a result, often leads you to perform compulsions. These parts are driven by separate though not distinct core beliefs. The Anxious part believes that the world is a dangerous, awful place, full of landmines. Her goal is to protect you from those landmines, to keep you safe. The Critic believes that you must be perfect at all cost, or bad things will happen. She is also trying to protect you.

You may notice that both those parts, while different, are trying to protect you. This is the common denominator with most, if not all, of your parts. Once you realize this, you can speak to your parts and call a truce. This relieves a lot of inner tension and allows you to relax, but it takes practice. These parts right now are probably strangers to you, but by listening to them and comforting them, you will begin to have empathy where previously you may have been very angry with them.

You can learn more in Richard Schwartz’s book “No Bad Parts.”

16/07/2025

It may seem logical to think there are no wins or losses in therapy, but we all have days where we feel as though we have won (or lost) more battles than the day before. Some days we play the game in “safe mode;” maybe doing small exposures here and there, but otherwise just trying to get through the day. Other days we wipe the floor with OCD, taking every exposure in stride. The fact is that there is no clear cut right or wrong way to do therapy, but there are ways to make it more effective.

One of those ways is to have a strategic mindset. If we are just playing not to lose, we will make slow progress and eventually hit a wall. When we play to win, we take those risks on daily, knowing that it could all fall apart. But the win - that freedom from OCD - keeps us going. Even if our biggest fear happens, we know we can cope. THIS is what we should strive towards in therapy.

It’s also important to remember we all go through ups and downs and sometimes it will just happen that you need to play it safe and take a break because there’s so much going on. Just remember to get back to that “winning” mindset - because the goal isn’t simply not to lose, it is to have a life where you have the choice to live by your values instead of being a slave to OCD.

Inspiration: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/owning-it-the-anxiety-podcast/id1449728710?i=1000682794281

02/07/2025

A lot of OCD is chasing that “just right” feeling. I could argue almost exclusively. We want to eliminate the uncomfortable feelings, generated by the uncomfortable thoughts in our mind. For example, if you have an obsession with cleaning, are you really worried about that surface being spotless so you don’t get sick? Or do you want it to be clean to eliminate that nagging voice in your head saying “If you don’t clean that spot, your whole family will get sick and die!”

When we break it down in this way, it makes OCD easier to spot. Let’s say you feel you have 90% resolved an issue, but your brain lingers on that 10%. You keep chipping away at that 10% until you feel absolutely certain it’s resolved. But then, wait! There is another angle you didn’t consider, taking that 100% resolution back down to 90%. Sound familiar?

It’s an exhausting cycle, one that can easily continue if you don’t break it. What if leaving that little bit unresolved is the key to recovery? Even if you think this time is special, that’s how OCD gets you. Try practicing this when you can. Even if you decide to accept the uncertainty and move on sometimes (don’t expect perfection!), the habit starts to become automatic.

OCD Ottawa

01/04/2026

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04/03/2026

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24/09/2025

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27/08/2025

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